The Best Kept Secrets
by danniperson
Summary: Albus Severus sees his father kissing his namesake one night, an event that unravels all of the secrets the older generation has been keeping for so long. Mpreg. Slash. Infidelity. Mostly epilogue compliant.
1. The Man Who Lies to the World

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter One: **_**The Man Who Lies to the World**_

* * *

It was no secret that Ginny Potter favored her daughter over her sons. No one faulted her. Not her best friend, Luna Lovegood, who liked to comment on how alike the two female Potters were in both their looks and personality, that it was natural for them to get along better. Not Molly Weasley, the doting grandmother, who understood what a gift it was for a woman to have a daughter as she herself had waited so long for hers. Certainly not her younger son, Albus Severus Potter, who knew the truth of the matter was that Lily was Ginny's only child.

That wasn't common knowledge. In fact, Albus liked to think he was the only person, aside from his parents, that saw the truth. All of them, Harry, Snape, and Ginny had to know, though Albus doubted any of them knew that he was aware of it. How did one broach a subject such as this anyway?

It all started on the second night the Potter children were all home for the Christmas holidays five months ago. His dad had already owled that he was going to be at work late, letting them have dinner and to go to bed without him. Albus had stayed up late reading a book in the small library on the second floor. Aunt Hermione insisted they put the built-in library to good use, even supplying them with many books for it. It would be great, she said, to encourage their children to seek knowledge and could, at least, help with any schoolwork and projects they had during summer. It could even be useful for Harry and Ginny, as they were bound to need to consult one of the thick volumes for something one day when Hermione wasn't around to give them all of the answers. Everyone had made good use of the library at some point or another, though Albus was its own frequent visitor. Unlike the rest of his family, Albus really enjoyed reading. Lily was getting into it a little more these days but, for the most part, the family was made up of more active beings than intellectual ones.

The tome opened in front of him was _True War_. It was all about the First and Second Wizarding Wars. Included in it were real stories of battles, the perspective of both sides of the war, a list of every person who died during them, and a small section containing the aftermath of the war. He had been inspired to read it while using the textbook _Wartime Weapons: the Potions and Spells Used in the First and Second Wizarding Wars_ to help James write his end of the term Defense Against the Dark Arts essay. The textbook had been written by Severus Snape and Harry Potter. His father claimed to the public that he had found the portions written by Snape among the man's belongings and decided to honor him by completing the work then publishing it. It was an instant hit. Considering everyone believed Snape to be dead, his father was given a lot of credit, though Harry always made sure to correct them, swearing up and down that the majority of the book was due to Snape's years of research and note-taking. In the back of the book, there were recommended reading pages that listed other articles and books related to the wars, including the one Albus's nose was now buried in. Hermione Weasley had been the one to do all of the interviews, collecting information, and compiling all of the information in the book.

Albus couldn't get enough of it.

It wasn't that his parents refused to talk about the war. Everyone acknowledged that it was better for the next generation to be well aware of what had happened. It was important in knowing why the world was the way it was, why their parents were the way they were, why their godfather Snape was pretending to be dead, how to avoid the world falling into disarray, how to spot the warning signs in Dark wizards, among other things. The only issue was that the children knew the war was hard for their parents to talk about, even after all of these years. The last time the Potter family had talked about the war; Ginny had fallen into depression while Snape and Harry began having nightmares, flashbacks, and fought each other to the point of drawing wands where Ginny would step in to keep them apart. Ginny's depression was bad but was nothing compared to the darkness that seemed to overcome Harry and Snape whenever bad memories were brought into focus.

Then Victory Day, May 2nd, was always a bittersweet day of mourning and celebration in remembrance of the end of the war. It had meant a day of fireworks provided by Uncle George, a family gathering, a big meal provided by Grandma Weasley in their younger days. Now that they were older, it was hard to get into the spirit of things when it was so clear that the adults in the house weren't feeling the same things they were. Albus could see through the fake smiles now, noticing that his father always drank heavily on that day, that Ginny always seemed just a tad bit clingy with her family and always on edge. Now that they were old enough to really want to know more about the war, none of them was willing to subject their family to that sort of breakdown.

The book was like a godsend. Albus cherished everything written, reading over those comments by familiar names a million times. He was just reading about Snape's 'death' from his father's point of view when he heard the noises coming down the hallway. Knowing his father was home, Albus checked his watch, alarmed to see that it was past three in the morning. Considering it was the holidays, and they were all at a decent age, they didn't have a strict bedtime though it was encouraged that they didn't live at night and sleep all day. He jumped to his feet to rush to the door to greet his father but stopped when his hand was on the knob.

"Unhand me, Potter."

"Stop being so stubborn, Severus. You need help."

"I can help myself, you infernal child."

"I am not a child, you dunce. I'm forty years old."

"And I'm almost sixty one, Potter. I have learned by now how to care for myself."

"It wouldn't hurt to let _someone_ take care of you for a change."

Albus was intrigued. Due to the fact that he was pretending to be dead, Snape had never once come to their home. They always visited Snape in his home in Muggle London. Before the children had begun attending Hogwarts, they had visited Snape at least once a week, sometimes once every other week during busy times. Now, they only saw him during holidays. They had all been a bit excited when Ginny announced at dinner that they would be visiting Snape the following day. He was no easy man to get along with, most people said, but as the Potter children had all grown up being exposed to the man, they found his abrasive personality quite charming. The fact that Snape was here would probably have been exciting, had it not been so strange.

Concerned, Albus turned the doorknob carefully, hoping not to make any noise as he pushed it open. It was then that he was met with the sight that explained the few seconds of silence that had fallen before he even went to open the door. Green eyes grew impossibly wide as he just stared at the two men who were paused in the middle of the hallway kissing. Their bodies were pressed close together with Harry's hands holding onto Snape's arms while Snape's hands gently caressed Harry's face, lips moving tenderly against each other. It was a moment more intimate than the countless times the curious Potter children had walked in on Harry and Ginny having sex. It was full of more love and passion than anything Albus had witnessed between the married Potters. It was a moment so fragile that the men hardly dared move and Albus barely let himself breathe for fear of disrupting them.

His mind raced as he watched them relax into each other. Faces expressed complete bliss, a needy whimper escaping Harry's throat against his will then a quiet groan following not long after. Albus swallowed hard as he watched Snape's hands slide down from his father's face, over his shoulders, moving to surround his father and hold him closer. Following his lead, Harry's arms moved to wrap around the taller man's neck, pressing them more firmly against each other. There was an intensity, and desperation, about them that Albus had never seen in anyone before. There was no need beyond what they were doing, as though the simple act of kissing was more than enough, that they wouldn't dare ask for more than that. Wasn't sex always on men's minds? All Albus knew were anxious teenagers, sometimes even adults, ripping at each other's clothes, wanting more, more, more. Harry and Snape, though, treasured this secret kiss. Albus could feel it.

It took him a few minutes to remember that this whole thing was very, very wrong. Harry was married to his mother, Ginny. Snape was his godfather! His parents loved each other very much. Didn't they? His gut twisted and he swallowed hard. Should he close the door then pretend he had never seen anything or should he interrupt and say something? Instead, he stood, frozen, just staring at them.

"We…Oh Merlin, Severus…We can't do this," Harry mumbled, pulling back slightly.

Snape stiffened, scowled, and shoved Harry away from him. "Of course not. It isn't as though you have ever been unfaithful to Miss Weasley."

"Mrs. Potter now, which you know," Harry snapped. "And that was…it's been a while. Doesn't make it okay since we…before."

"Take me home, Mr. Potter," Snape commanded coolly.

"It's Harry," he sighed impatiently.

"You're only Harry when I'm balls deep in your arse, boy," Snape sneered.

Harry's eyes flashed dangerously as he reached forward to tightly grab onto Snape's arm. "Don't turn into a bloody git on me now."

"I am who I've always been, Potter," Snape snarled.

"Don't act so hurt over this. I'm married to Ginny. I can't keep just…"

"I don't want to hear your excuses. You should have never brought me here."

"Where else was I supposed to take you?" Harry hissed. "You'll be safe here."

"As you apprehended my attackers, Potter, I'm more than positive I'll be more than fine in the comfort of my own home," Snape said. "If you're so concerned about your wife, then leave me be."

"I love you, you bastard," Harry hissed.

"And what exactly does your _love_ mean?" Snape snapped.

Furiously, Harry reared his arm back but Snape caught his fist right before the punch landed, though the force of it caused them both to stumble slightly until Harry fell back against the wall with Snape following to pin him there. Albus couldn't see much for a few minutes, though he knew they were kissing again, fervently now. He saw the way his father's hands grasped Snape's arms, noticing the writhing of their bodies. It made him uncomfortable but, as he shifted behind the door, prepared to turn away, Snape lowered his head to Harry's neck, sucking violently. Harry was caught between moaning then hissing at him to stop and how he "better not leave a mark, you wanker!"

But Snape had left a mark. By the time Snape let him go, Albus could see the large purplish red mark on the side of his neck. Then they exchanged a few more heated, whispered words that Albus couldn't fully hear. After that, Harry stormed off and returned with an old slipper telling Snape that it would activate in three minutes. Albus watched his father storm off to his bedroom and slam the door. He remained in the doorway a few more minutes as Snape glared down at their doorway, clutching the slipper in his hand. There was a great deal of rage in his expression, but Albus could have sworn that just beyond that there was longing, pain, and terror that made him ache just to see. After three minutes, the Portkey and Snape were gone, leaving Albus to sit in the library until sunrise, mind reeling over everything he had seen.

The visit with Snape the next day had been strange. Albus had never noticed the sexual tension between the two until then. He barely spoke to anyone at all, only observing. When it was time to go back to Hogwarts, Albus found himself thinking of the event a great deal. The theory that he could possibly be Snape's child came during a dream one night. The thought plagued him until he caved and began to do research. He spent a lot of time in the library, looking through books on male pregnancy, and the possibility of hiding a pregnancy, looking through old newspapers, anything he could get his hands on that would even hint at the truth.

Ginny Potter appeared to be pregnant in the pictures, Albus saw, but the photos that accompanied the pregnancy announcement, both Harry and Ginny seemed to be sporting a little extra weight that seemed to mysteriously disappear right after. No one else seemed to pick up on that fact. Harry always conveniently fell ill around the time, though most people put it off as Harry being romantic, wanting to keep a desk job throughout Ginny's pregnancies so that he would be available whenever she needed him. All of the births took place in the Potter residence instead of at St. Mungo's and no known mediwizards were present, though there was always speculation as to who had aided in the birthing process. Harry always took a short leave from work in the days before then the weeks following the birth. Supposedly, to support his wife in the last leg of things but Albus had other ideas. Wasn't it possible that Harry had been pregnant at the time and hiding it?

Looking at Lily, there was no denying she was Ginny's daughter. James was another matter. His eyes were black. The family liked to say that maybe he had gotten them from somewhere in the Potter or Prewett family genes, a recessive trait that came around to the oldest Potter child. Looking at pictures, though, Albus could see how James could be Snape's child. He was tall and lanky, like Snape was. They had the same eyes, chin, and ears. It wasn't obvious enough for anyone to guess right off the bat. James looked like a Potter, certainly, with more features that could resemble Snape than Ginny.

Then there was he, himself. Everyone had told him he looked just like his father and grandfather. It was hard to find anything that could be related to Ginny or Snape though, in the end, Albus decided that he had Snape's ears just like James as well as the man's long, dexterous fingers. By the end of the school year, there was no doubt in Albus's mind that he and James were the sons of Harry Potter and Severus Snape.

He wasn't sure what to think when they got home. Albus spent more time than usual keeping to himself those first two days. On the third day, when it was time to go and visit Snape, Albus wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing. The day started with Ginny bringing home a new dress for Lily to wear, spending the time painting her nails, doing her hair, and various other mother-daughter bonding activities. It was one more thing that Albus calculated in his head. Ginny always had been closer to Lily. She treated them all like her children but Lily was special. There was more love in her eyes for Lily, more pride. Always more gifts, more one on one time, more letters, more everything. Not enough to be obvious but, to someone who was looking, it was there. Sometimes, when Ginny brought home things for Lily, Albus and James would get upset then Ginny would remind them that Lily was the youngest and they always got many gifts when they were younger. Albus didn't feel any resentment now. How could he fault her for paying more care to the only child she had raised that was her own blood?

"Hey, Mum! What did you get me?" James asked as he hopped off the last step of the staircase.

"Don't even start this again," Ginny said impatiently. "I bought you new dress robes last year that you never even wore for a Yule Ball you didn't attend."

"See? I never even got good use out of it," James grinned, kissing his mother on the cheek.

Step mother. Adoptive mother. Surrogate mother. Whatever she was. _Mother_ couldn't be so wrong on its own, could it? She had raised them, hadn't she?

"Go brush your hair," Ginny laughed.

"You'll brush Lily's but you won't brush mine?" James pouted.

"Act like a grown up, won't you? You'll be seventeen in less than a month," Ginny said, elbowing him.

"C'mon. If I'm not old enough to go to the Wanton Kingdom concert, I can't be old enough to act like a grown up, now can I?" James asked innocently.

"Jamie," Ginny said warningly.

James raised his hands in surrender and backed away. "Sorry, Mum. Hey, Al! Still being an arse?"

"James! Do not use that language," Ginny scolded.

"I'm not an arse," Albus replied.

"Albus Severus, don't you dare!" Ginny exclaimed.

"What's going on in here?" Harry's voice demanded tiredly as he walked downstairs.

"Jamie and Al are using bad words," Lily giggled.

"And not listening to their mother," Ginny muttered.

Harry frowned. "Boys…"

"Sorry, Dad! We were just messing around," James said, throwing his arm around Albus's shoulder. "Right, Al?"

Harry shot them a hard look, warning them to behave. "Are we ready?"

"Almost," Ginny said. "Is Snape sure he's alright with having company?"

"Isn't he always?" James grinned.

"Did something happen?" Albus asked with a frown.

Harry looked troubled. "He's better now. Only he had an accident a few weeks ago. He's just now fully recovered."

"Damn," James muttered, earning him a glare from Harry and a pop against the side of the head from Ginny. "Sorry. What happened?"

Rubbing his head, Harry sighed heavily. "Well, Neville was bringing Severus some of the new plants he had been growing all year, taking them down to the lab while he was working on a new potion. He spent so much time muttering about Neville's incompetence and how he had never been good at Potions that I don't know exactly how it happened but he accidentally dropped one of the plants into the potion, causing it to blow up. Neville didn't sustain many injuries, because Severus shoved him out of the way, but we had to take care of him for a while."

"I don't understand why he doesn't use Polyjuice, glamours or something then go to St. Mungo's," James muttered.

"He was probably too weak to keep up glamours. It would use a lot of concentrated magic to hold up the amount he would need to go undetected as himself. The Polyjuice would only work if he had some on hand and, even then, depending on the amount of time he would need to stay in St. Mungo's…" Albus explained.

"Alright, enough smarty-pants talk," James laughed. "Can't have been very safe, though."

"We did what we could. Mr. Malfoy helped a little bit when we let him know," Harry shrugged. "He seems fine now, though. We had drinks last night and he was up to his usual snarky self."

Albus noticed the long look Ginny gave his dad. Suspicion, jealousy, and irritation were all present in her bright brown eyes. When she realized Albus had noticed, she flushed and looked away, causing him to quickly turn his head. Damn it. He didn't need anyone to realize how closely he was watching them, he was already acting strangely enough to them.

"You doing alright, Al?" Harry asked concerned.

Exhibit A, Albus thought to himself. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just…worried about Snape and all."

The older wizard didn't look as though he fully believed his son. Albus half expected his father to point out that he had been acting odd since coming home or saying they would have a talk later. Eventually, Harry just nodded, letting Albus relax somewhat.

It took an hour longer than expected to be ready to go to Snape's house. The time everyone else was ready, someone decided they weren't quite done yet. Then they had to return home twice to get something they had forgotten. Finally, they were able to use a Portkey to arrive at their destination inside of the Leaky Cauldron where Harry had a car parked outside. It was always a hassle getting there, considering it was not connected to the floo network as well as Snape being paranoid about the Department of Magical Transportation easily tracking the comings and goings of the Potters to Snape's house. He said it was dangerous enough to use the magic he did in his house. So they always used a Portkey to get to the Leaky Cauldron, especially since Lily didn't take too well to Apparating, then drove the car to Snape's house.

It was a modest place; one story, very old, the yard always neat, though, on the whole, looking as though it was abandoned. Lily squealed happily when they parked behind Snape's car and was the first to jump out then run to the front door, banging loudly. Harry sighed heavily, smiling in amusement as he watched her. "I bet he's still lecturing her by the time we get in there," James piped up from the backseat as he opened his door. "What say ya, Al?"

"I bet he'll just be finishing," Albus played along.

It was the same every time. Lily would run up with too much enthusiasm, causing Snape to scold her for being too loud and causing too much ruckus, how, despite her parentage, she should at least pretend to act like a lady. As they watched, James and Albus would bet on the state of the lecture the time they arrived. It wasn't always the same. Sometimes James won, sometimes Albus won, and, though their parents highly discouraged actual gambling, they did always have something to give, be it actual money, an owed favor, candy, or any number of small things.

"I bet he's got her in his lap, reading her a fairytale," Harry joked as he followed his family out of the car.

"I bet he's teaching her how to waltz," Ginny laughed.

"There's no need to be creepy," James shuddered.

To their surprise, they didn't hear any fussing as they approached the house. The door was still open so Harry led the way inside. Looks of alarm spread across the Potters' faces when they heard Lily's whimpering. Harry ran towards the living room, the others on his tail. Snape sat in his usual arm chair, looking grim as he hastily buttoned up a white shirt. Lily sat on the couch, tears streaming down her face, hiccupping as she struggled to stop crying. Albus was confused for a minute until he got a good look at the bare skin of Snape's chest. The man was normally covered up to right under his chin so they had only caught a glimpse of his scars a few times. Then, normally, that was only the scar where his Dark Mark was and the one on his neck from the snake bite that almost killed him.

All along the left side of his neck and across the front were the twisted, harsh white lines of the snake bite. That wasn't all. The flesh of his left side all the way to near the middle of his stomach looked burned, twisted, and almost as though the flesh had been melted. It was enough to upset Albus's stomach. There was very tender, pink flesh just below his right collarbone that looked fresh and must have been from the most recent accident. Aside from those bigger ones, there were still several smaller scars decorating his upper body. James and Albus stood side by side, staring as Snape did his best to cover them up, though his hands were shaking more than normal and the left was heavily bandaged. If this was completely better, then Albus hated to see what it had looked like after it first happened. Ginny rushed to the couch beside Lily to pull her daughter into her arms while Harry slowly walked over to Snape, kneeling down before him and shoving his hands aside, carefully buttoning up the shirt himself despite Snape's glowering.

The move was so intimate that Albus could barely stand to look at it. He was still confused about his thoughts and feelings concerning the night he caught them kissing but, to act this way in front of his mother! Maybe the actions themselves couldn't be deemed romantic or sexual, but there was something about the way they were when they were so close, the way they looked at each other, their conversation became private with their whispers, every delicate caress spoke volumes of their adoration and sent enough heat through the room for everyone to feel the sexual tension. Maybe not everyone. Albus hadn't noticed before _that night_ but it was all he could think about now. To him, just this felt as though they were full out having sex in front of them!

He wasn't the only one to notice. He saw the way Ginny glanced at them, visibly becoming incredibly uncomfortable as she tried to calm Lily down. Lily continued sniffling, wiping the tears from her eyes and catching her breath. James muttered sarcastically under his breath about how Roxanne thought _her_ latest Quidditch injury was bad.

"I don't need you, Potter," Snape muttered, shifting and straightening himself once Harry was done. Both men seemed reluctant as Harry stood up and stepped back.

Albus noted how the man said he didn't need him, as opposed to needing his help. He wanted to say something, to call them out on their deceit, draw attention to their little secrets. Instead, he bit the inside of his mouth to keep from talking. This wasn't exactly a normal, everyday situation.

At school, it had been easier to look at this with a more logical mind. Being here with his family was what brought the onslaught of emotion. Ginny, who hadn't even given birth to him or James, had stood by Harry though he was pregnant with someone else's child. Said man, while a godfather they all adored, had never been a father to them. Why not? They were his children. Didn't they matter? And how could Harry cheat on a wife so loyal, so good to him and his children? Did Snape know about them? He must, surely. Or had Harry kept this secret from him, too?

He knew. Albus had a gut feeling that he knew.

"They do remember how to sit, do they not?" Snape asked, eying the boys critically.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Do you get off on being a git or what?"

He hadn't even known the words had actually slipped out of his mouth as opposed to being words he only daydreamed of spitting out venomously. Everyone stared at him in shock. It wasn't like Albus to be this way. If anyone had any sarcastic or mean remarks, it was normally James or Lily. Albus was the quiet one, the patient one, the kind one. Even he had his days, though.

"Albus Severus, what is going on with you lately?" Ginny exclaimed.

"Apologize!" Harry demanded.

"That's quite alright," Snape said, studying Albus closely with those cold black eyes. "I have dealt with disrespectful dimwits a great deal in my life. I still suffer your presence more often than I care to, Potter."

Harry's green eyes narrowed at Snape, who didn't even bother looking at him. The two of them getting into it was nothing new to this family. James just rolled his eyes then walked across the room to sit on the other side of Lily, nudging her to scoot over and make more room for him. Albus stared at Snape, who stared back at him while Harry glowered at the older wizard.

"I guess you have a point, Al," Harry muttered, stepping away slowly to sit on the chair closer to the couch than to Snape.

"Harry!" Ginny hissed.

"Dad, Al, Snape…Play nice, now," James laughed.

No one said anything. Ginny would later comment under her breath that it was at least an improvement. Out of pure stubbornness, Snape and Harry refused to make amends, letting the room remain in awkward silence for several long minutes. Only when it became unbearable did James start up another half hearted attempt at conversation about the American sport of Quodpot and how he and cousins Fred, Roxanne, Dominique, and Hugo all tried playing it at Uncle George and Aunt Angelina's house the day before.

"Why didn't you let me know? I wanted to play!" Lily exclaimed.

"James, we've talked about this," sighed Ginny. "It's not very safe."

"Quidditch isn't very safe either, yet we all play that. Except for Al, of course," James said matter-of-factly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Albus asked.

"Nothing," James shrugged. "Only the truth. You're not athletic like the rest of us."

Ginny looked pointedly away as Harry shot Snape a meaningful look and said, "No, he's not." Snape held his gaze and gave a slow nod. Albus was the only one who seemed to notice. James and Lily had to be slow not to see it, didn't they? Had things always been like this? Albus wracked his brain, looking through old memories, wondering if there was anything there that he should have picked up on but hadn't. Nothing was really coming to mind, though.

"There is nothing wrong with being intellectually inclined," Snape said smugly. "_Some_ people in this world actually prefer someone with more than half a brain in their head."

"You can't survive with only half a brain, can you?" James asked.

"You obviously do," Lily giggled.

James proceeded to chase Lily around the living room until they came close to knocking over one of Snape's bookcases, earning them a good scolding from the man before they settled back down. Ginny, James, and Lily all began a very lively discussion about Quidditch with input from Harry and Snape only once in a while. Harry seemed content to watch them mess around with a smile, pausing only to share long looks with Snape or to cast concerned glances Albus's way. The boy in question leaned back against the wall where he had the best access to watch everyone. If there had been any doubts in his theory before, they were all but gone now.

What was more disturbing than anything was the charged sexual chemistry still apparent between the two men. Maybe it was the fact that Albus was now certain they had been lovers at one point that made it all so clear but he could just feel it. There was something alive between them that seemed to heat up every time their eyes met. They looked at each other as though no one else existed. The yearning that was so clear in their eyes was enough to make Albus's heart skip a beat, making his breath catch in his throat. Weren't they a little too old for this? He felt uncomfortable midway through the whole meeting, around the fifth time they exchanged that look.

He wanted to scream at them. Tell them to stop. Beg them to have some decency. They would have thought it a bit insane, though, he was sure.

Albus must have asked himself a thousand times that day how he had never seen it before. He also couldn't help but wonder how Ginny could stand this. This was all new to him and he didn't know whether to scream or cry. She was a stronger woman than this, to stay with a man who cheated on her, who obviously wanted to be elsewhere.

It was frustrating because the whole situation made no sense. Why were his parents together? Why weren't Harry and Snape together? Why live a lie this way? Even if Snape wanted to let everyone believe he was dead, was that a reason for Harry to marry some girl he obviously didn't love?

It was infuriating because he had been lied to. His parents, all of them, had lied to them all. They were still keeping this secret. Not only that but the fact that his own flesh and blood father, Snape, wasn't an active parent at all. Why not? Were they not worth it? Weren't kids supposed to be everything to their parents? More important than their own selfish needs and desires?

It was painful because these people he had trusted and loved lied to him. Because his own father, apparently, didn't want him at all. Because his entire life had been a lie and he didn't know what to think or do.

When Ginny announced it was time for them to leave, Albus had to blink tears from his eyes, swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat. Ginny looked ready to ask of his well-being again but Albus quickly shook his head. She didn't say anything, only nodded and rounded up James and Lily, who were arm wrestling while Harry stood to shake Snape's hand then bid him goodbye.

"You coming, Al?" Harry asked as he followed Ginny, James, and Lily to the door. Albus hadn't moved an inch.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," Albus said quietly.

Harry gave him an odd look then sent a questioning gaze to Snape who only nodded. The man seemed reluctant to leave his youngest son but, eventually. made himself move. Albus and Snape remained in their positions until they heard the front door close. He stared at the wall ahead of him, well aware of the moment black eyes began to bore into him.

"You've been moodier than a teenage girl all day," Snape commented smoothly.

"Bugger off," Albus mumbled, kicking at the floor. Several more minutes of silence passed between them before he straightened out his brain enough to speak again. He cleared his throat, then reluctantly glanced to Snape. His _father_. "I don't get how…some parents can just…act like they don't even have kids."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "One of your friends, I presume?"

Albus shrugged.

When he looked away again, Snape was still looking at him. He could almost hear the wheels turning in the older wizard's head. "My own parents were of questionable parenting standards. In my many years as the Head of Slytherin House, I saw a great deal of students with mummy and daddy issues. Though I can say I, myself, don't understand the reasons for this treatment, despite my own disdain for the numerous dunderheads that walked into my classroom. I do believe that…if I had children of my own…regardless of how reckless, moronic, or unbearable they were, I would…care for them."

The man seemed so uncomfortable admitting such a thing. Albus wasn't even sure why he was saying the things he was. For a moment, he was angry that Snape would say such a thing when he damn well knew that Albus was his son and that he had hardly been father of the year. As he looked back at the man, though, he was confused. Something in the look in those eyes gave him pause. Snape knew. But Snape also had the idea that Albus knew. Were his words supposed to be reassuring?

"Loathe as I am to give my parents the benefit of the doubt, they were truly the most reprehensible, pathetic excuses for parents I had the misfortune of encountering. But, perhaps, we, as their offspring, are not fully capable of understanding where they might be coming from with their actions," Snape said quietly, looking as though this pained him to admit.

"Do you think they cared for you?" he asked.

"Not for one moment," Snape growled.

"But, despite the fact that you openly despise children, you say you would love your own children?" Albus asked hesitantly.

"Yes. I can say with certainty that any children of mine would hold a very special place in my heart," Snape said quietly.

"The existence of which has always been questionable," Albus offered up as teasingly as he could muster. His tone didn't easily reach any sort of believability, though it at least achieved enough for Snape to understand how he meant the comment.

This was his chance to say something. Snape had to suspect that he knew the truth. Why else would he open up this way? Emotional confessions were hardly his strong suit. Even with this he struggled to remain detached, while being…what? Open enough to convince Albus that he cared? Snape's motives were unclear but there was no mistaking that glint in his eyes. _Say something_! His mind willed him, but Albus could say nothing on the subject.

"Well, I'll stop bothering you now," Albus said finally.

Snape nodded. "You are welcome here whenever you deem it necessary."

"Thanks. I guess," Albus said. "Erm. Hope you're feeling better?"

"It has been two and a half weeks. It should cause concern if I hadn't noticed any progress in my healing by now," Snape remarked.

"Still hurts then?"

"It is nothing I cannot handle," Snape said. "Off you go. Before they send in a search party."

"Right," Albus said, quickly looking to the door. He was surprised they hadn't honked at him. They hadn't left, had they? He had been in here much longer than he had intended. "Bye."

The discussion with Snape had dissipated some of his anger though he had a feeling it wasn't quite dead yet. In all actuality, he was more confused than ever as he left Snape's house then headed out to the car where Harry and Ginny were fussing at James and Lily to calm down. This situation was too big, too complicated for him to work out on his own. Before too long, he was going to have to talk to someone about it.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Not to say they don't exist, but I haven't read any stories where any of Harry's children are actually Snape's so I was sort of inspired. I hope everyone enjoys this!

Chapter has been corrected by my amazingly wonderful beta Dani who is awesome, if I haven't told you already! Thanks so much!

The chapter title comes from a quote from Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_. "The man who lies to the world, is the world's slave from then on."

You can like me on FB for updates about TBKS, my other stories, and any upcoming projects I plan to work on. As well as other musings about snarry and the world of fanfiction.


	2. Come By It Honestly

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter Two: **_**Come By It Honestly**_

* * *

Ginny and Lily would be visiting Percy's wife, Audrey, their daughters Lucy and Molly for the day. Harry and Albus were also due to be gone a good bit of it as well, doing the remaining shopping they needed for James's upcoming birthday party. That left the sixteen year old to his own devices. He hadn't lied to his parents when he said Teddy would be visiting. Only they didn't need to know what James and Teddy would be doing.

James tossed his head from side to side, hoping to get his shaggy, unruly hair out of his eyes as Teddy crossed the room to stand in the middle where James had a perfect view of him. The metamorphmagus grinned as he reached down to pull up his shirt. His thinner form looked muscular when revealed, though that was only because of the tricks Teddy was so clever at pulling, always making himself into an Adonis when he stripped. James laughed as Teddy tossed the shirt aside, upper body now twice as thick as the one he had been cuddled against just minutes ago. He was tan, bulky, and even a few inches taller. The curly teal hair he enjoyed playing with had become slick and blond, cobalt eyes now baby blue. James said nothing of his preference for the other look, only grinning and folding his arms over his chest, letting Teddy play his game. The older wizard grinned then unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, kicking them off, letting scarily muscled thighs come into view.

Teddy cleared his throat then asked in a deep voice "Like what you see?" As he spoke, he placed his hands on his hips, grinned broadly, letting his pecs move and dance.

He cracked up laughing. "Fuck, Ted. That's great. But you know how I prefer my men."

"With a pussy?" Teddy suggested with a sly smile.

James scoffed. "You should know better by now," he said, rolling over onto his hands and knees, crawling across the bed to sit at the edge.

"Hmm. Like this?" Teddy guessed, morphing his body again. The muscles were toned down drastically, though were still there. His golden tan lightened several shades, hair lengthened slightly, curling up, and became the shocking teal that was James's favorite color of the moment. Baby blues darkened into the cobalt that the younger man found mesmerizing then his body shortened only a few inches until it was what James liked to refer to as the perfect kissing height. His pants didn't seem so tight on him now, though James could still tell he was halfway erect from their earlier fooling around.

"Much better," James purred as Teddy turned around, backing up to give him access to his firm buttocks. The brunette grinned, reaching out to give his boyfriend's backside a squeeze. Teddy chuckled, letting the boy grasp his hips then pull him back more. Considering James was at school most of the year then when he was home, there were normally too many adults around to do much so the pair liked making the most of days like these. The younger wizard certainly had plenty in mind as he snaked his arms around Teddy's waist, palming the growing bulge between his legs while pressing careful open mouthed kisses to his lower back, then up his spine. The laugh caught in Teddy's throat then melted into a long moan. James grinned, using his free hand the best he could to unbutton, unzip, and shove down his trousers so that his own arousal was only covered by his boxers, pressing forward to rub his hardness against the back of the metamorphmagus's leg.

"I'm ready," James muttered against Teddy's back while slipping his hand beneath the waistband of his pants, almost groaning along with his lover as he finally wrapped his fingers around the hot length.

"R-ready?" Teddy asked shakily, letting himself be pulled down onto the bed. James shifted around to accommodate his lover then began pulling down his lover's pants. When the material was gone, he ran his hand up lightly haired thighs, fondling heavy balls then caressing the smooth flesh of the erection laying against the other's flat stomach.

"Ready for more," James promised, grinning as he crawled around to straddle Teddy's legs, resting his arms on either side of his hips, pressing his face down close to his lover's hardness, black eyes lifting up to meet lust filled eyes steadily changing from cobalt to a deep, dark purple. Slowly, he ran his tongue all up the underside of his cock, sucking the head into his mouth for a few moments when he reached it then swirling it all around it before releasing. "Want you to fuck me. Kay?"

"Ooh," Teddy moaned. "Got it. Yeah. You…you sure?"

"Positive," James promised.

They had been together for less than a year and barely had the chance to do much of anything. It had been only a year ago when James confided in Teddy about sexuality. It was shortly after his sixteenth birthday that he confessed his feelings for the boy he had known his whole life. Then it was two weeks before school that he worked up the courage to kiss him and it took another week for Teddy to lose all pretense of control and kissed him back. They managed to fool around a little bit before James had to leave but not enough for the teenager. They wrote letters all year. The first few months were shaky as Teddy was still in a relationship with Victoire Weasley but the connection the two had discovered was not easily broken. Any doubts Teddy had been having were easily disputed by James during the Christmas holidays when the pair spent as much time as possible snogging the daylights out of each other. When Teddy had dinner with the Potters, he and James would sneak up to his bedroom under the pretense of two best friends wanting to catch up, which wasn't too far from the truth. Now and then, James would sneak over to the flat Teddy shared with Victoire whenever she was hanging out with her friends or her family. Once she nearly walked in on them in the middle of their heavy petting but they, at least, still had their trousers on and managed to make Victoire believe they were wrestling. They had done it a lot when they were younger, after all.

Going back to school after that had been hellish. He had missed Teddy like crazy, more than he ever had. They had only been home for the summer holidays a week but James had wanted to see Teddy immediately. The week had gone by too slowly for him but it had been enough time to assure him of what he wanted. He wanted to be with Teddy in that way. Wanted to completely belong to the man he loved. More than that, he was a teenage boy and horny as hell! Abstaining from sex when he had so many offers from his classmates at Hogwarts had been hard but he had been determined to wait for Teddy. Not that he didn't mess around with his many offers. If Teddy was still shagging Victoire, he couldn't blame James for just snogging Abby Longbottom or letting her sister Pippa go down on him. They were mostly girls anyway but for one bloke, Tripp Wood, he gave a hand job to in the showers after Quidditch practice one afternoon. But going all the way…well, he wanted that with Teddy and now that he had the man here with him, James wasn't letting him go until he got what he wanted. What he _needed_. Teddy couldn't deny him this.

James would make sure he couldn't even think to reject him. Wrapping his hand around his lover's cock, he took it in his mouth, eagerly sucking it in as far as he could. It had been months since he had last done this and, even then, he hadn't had the proper practice to deep throat. When the head of Teddy's cock hit, his gag reflex kicked in, causing him to cough and gasp, pulling off for a second. Teddy frowned in concern, face twisting up in concentration. Alarmed by the realization of what he wanted to do, James slapped his hip. "Don't," he warned as Teddy tried to make his dick smaller. "I can take it."

"Are you…?"

He never got to finish his question. James had already taken him back into his mouth. For a few minutes, he was careful not to take it in too far, stroking with his hand what he couldn't swallow. Loud moans broke free from Teddy's throat. The twenty three year old reaching down to grasp the black hair of his lover, stroking the head that moved so enthusiastically. After a while, James was ready to try again, bracing himself before slowly pressing down more, breathing evenly through his nose, struggling against the urge to pull away or cough. Tears stung his eyes as he moved down more, the feeling was very uncomfortable and on the verge of painful. He worked his throat muscles as best he could, trying to relax around the length, but, in the end, he couldn't fully do it. Pulling away, he focused on catching his breath while pumping Teddy's cock then went back to sucking on it.

"Jame…baby, I'm close," Teddy gasped after a while.

In his focus on performing a great blowjob, James had forgotten about his wish to fuck until now. He quickly removed his mouth then crawled further up Teddy's body to reach over to his bedside drawer. "I have lube in here somewhere," he muttered, pushing aside the various Quidditch magazines and candy boxes that hid his toys.

"You do?" Teddy teased breathlessly, poking the younger wizard's sides. James shivered in response, shoving his dildo aside, having to stretch a bit more to grab onto the phial of lubricant he had purchased when in Diagon Alley with Fred a couple of days ago.

Grinning successfully, James could only bask in the thrill and promise of sex for a few seconds before his bedroom door burst open. "Hey, James! We need to…What the fuck?"

"Oh shite," Teddy hissed, grabbing the boy who was on top of him and shifting around frantic to pull the sheets, or at least a pillow, over his exposed cock.

"Bloody hell!" James cried in panic, hopping around the bed to grab at his clothes, tossing the lube to the mattress. Heat rose to his face as his pulse pounded furiously. His mind was racing far too fast for him to actually understand anything that was running through it. "What are you doing home?"

"What are you doing? With…Teddy?"

"Al…I can explain. I just," Teddy said quickly.

"Explain what?" Albus exclaimed. "What about Vicky?"

"Where's Dad?" James demanded, yanking on his trousers, realizing when he pulled them halfway up that they were backwards. "Bugger!"

"Snape's," Albus spat bitterly. "We finished early and he wanted to see Snape. I asked him to drop me off here because I wanted to talk to you."

"We can talk later," James snapped.

"Jame, I don't think…" Teddy began as calmly as he could.

"Damn right, you don't think. You can't be thinking if you're…But he's…Were you…?" Albus asked, looking as though his brain was starting to malfunction. His arms motioned wildly in no particular fashion, shaking his head, mouth moving at times when no sound came out.

"Al, just…Please listen. Just…don't tell anyone. We just…It's not…" Teddy was trying to explain.

"Get out, Ted," Albus said hoarsely, looking on the verge of a panic attack. "You need to leave."

"Al, stop it!" James exclaimed. "He doesn't have to go."

"You think Dad will still want him here if he knew this?" Albus snapped. To James's horror, there were tears in his younger brother's eyes.

"You can't tell Dad!" James said quickly. "Just…hear us out, okay? We just…calm down, right? And you'll listen?"

"Listen to what? I didn't even know you were gay!" Albus said. "And…What about Vic? Our _cousin?_ Did you even think about her? You could be putting her through the same shite as Mum…"

James was confused. "What? Mum? The bloody hell are you talking about, Al?"

* * *

After dropping Albus off at the house, Harry eagerly drove to Snape's. Only by the time he got there, he wasn't feeling so excited, more like dreading facing the man. These were the same feelings that assaulted him every time he came to see the man alone. As always, there was that happiness, a powerful desire to see the man he had loved for half of his life now. Then there was the misery, the urge to run far away, fleeing the pain before it could hit. Visiting Snape made Harry feel masochistic. They never had, and never could be, together in any real way. It had been almost a decade since they had last touched. Every time he saw the older wizard, he questioned how he could survive another day without him. Every day of his life, he felt the absence, the denial of something he needed so badly.

Harry sighed heavily as he turned off his car then leaned back in his seat. He remembered just as if it was yesterday how it all happened. After the final battle, he and his friends had returned to the Shrieking Shack to retrieve the man's body only for Hermione to realize he still had a pulse. In a panic, they fought to save the potions master's life, summoning anti-venom from the castle then allowing Hermione to figure out which one was appropriate for Snape's wound. They tried to bring him to the castle but Snape roused before then and commanded them not to. Let him play dead, he had pleaded. So Harry did the only thing he could. He owed this man his life. For weeks, Snape remained hidden in Grimmauld Place with only Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Ginny knowing he had survived. When they managed to cure Snape on their own, they tried to reason with him, to assure him that the world knew he was innocent.

But Snape didn't want that. Hadn't he been through enough without being badgered by everyone? How were they supposed to know, anyway, that his return from the dead wouldn't turn public view against him? They were happy to buy his heroic tale when it was a tragedy that had ended in his death. He still bore the Dark Mark, still had many sins to pay for, and he was certain that the people would make him pay. Even if they didn't, there wasn't a life he wanted in that world anymore. Peace was all Snape wanted, something he felt he could only find in a world where no one knew him. Under the name of Alexander Prince, he lived among Muggles with a part time job studying and advancing Muggle medicine while running an owl order Potions business from his home. Harry had pulled many strings to set Snape up with a relatively normal, easy lifestyle. The Ministry of Magic left alone the private bloke that Harry Potter had such a fondness for. Snape was still wary of performing too much magic around his home unless necessary, sure to cut off any forms of magical transportation all around the area as a precaution.

The man was still cruel but Harry had felt as though he owed him. He visited now and then to be sure Snape was holding up well on his own. To his surprise, Snape never really discouraged his visits. In true Snape fashion, he was a royal prat, which Harry gritted his teeth and dealt with for a few months. It was normal. They were all suffering after the war. Eventually, though, Harry finally snapped. They fought and he left. In the mean time, he attended too many meetings with a magical psychiatrist who had diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder. He and Ginny broke up then got back together five times. Life, post war, was not as great as Harry had hoped. But what could anyone expect in the recovery period?

It was only when he was kicked out of Auror training and told to attend some anger management classes before reapplying that really made the difference. It had been almost a year since he had seen Snape by this point. To this day, Harry wasn't sure what possessed him to leave the training facilities and head straight to Snape's house. All he knew was that he had been so furious as he stormed out of the training room and the next he was staring into the scowling face of Severus Snape.

"What on earth are you doing here? Not coming to arrest me, are you?" Snape asked dryly.

"I need a drink," Harry muttered.

"Go to a bar."

"Let me in, you git."

For some reason, Snape did. They drank a lot. Never said a word other than the greetings outside of the house. It was a very awkward silence but Harry's mind was buzzing too much to care. All he could do was think of how much his life was falling apart. This wasn't how it was supposed to be once Voldemort was gone. He was supposed to be happy, right? Didn't he deserve to be happy? At some point, he passed out. When he woke up, he was on the couch, tangled in a very comfortable blanket that smelled of musk, left in an empty house with nothing but a phial of what he eventually discovered was a hangover potion on the coffee table. Snape was at work, Harry eventually decided, and quickly left before the man could come home.

Things had been simpler back then, Harry mused. Those days, before he had fallen irrevocably in love with the stoic man. The time when he could bear to be near his intimidating ex-professor without feeling as though his heart was shattering into a million pieces. Those were the years spent suffering the worst of nightmares, trying to piece his life together while finding himself incapable of fully moving on from the horrors of that war. He had still been so angry with himself and with the world, so bitter still from all of the loss he had suffered in his young life. Did he miss the instability? No. The alcoholism had provided new pain, a new obstacle in life, one he was unwilling to conquer. The press hounded him like a dog, spinning tales of self destruction that were always more glamorous than real life, as well as being infinitely more dramatic and exaggerated. Ginny stood by his side but was never afraid to stand up to him when he was being hellish. She was his rock and he needed her. He loved her. So when he was twenty, they proposed and, within months, Molly Weasley had planned the whole thing. And all that time, through all he went through in life, he always visited with Snape once a month, then twice a month, and several times a week by the time the wedding rolled around.

It was like a trap, falling in love with Snape. Because, with how crazy life was, with everything else he had on his mind, it wasn't as though he spared many thoughts for his growing civility with the dead man.

He groaned as the memories flashed through his head, rubbing his hands over his face roughly so that his glasses were shoved all the way up into his hair. Palms pressed deeply into his closed eyes, causing spots of orange and red to appear in the blackness. He really should back out of the driveway and leave. He could spend the rest of the day with Teddy, James, and Albus while Ginny and Lily had their girl's day. Remembering all of this was the last thing he should be doing but thinking was all he could do now. Because Harry knew what Snape wanted. He had seen it coming for weeks. Now that Snape had requested his presence, Harry was sure he knew what it was. Some elaborate seduction or declaration of feelings that happened so rarely but were the highlights of their tragic relationship. The last time this had happened, four years ago, Harry had been able to turn him down. It had torn his very soul to shreds to do so but he had retained the strength needed to turn away, to remain faithful to the woman who had been so good to him and refusing to let himself fall into the trappings of a man who would never truly belong to him.

It would be tempting though. Harry knew that. It took every ounce of his strength to stay away. He was hardly perfect. That day during the Christmas holidays had proven that. Sure, he had stopped the encounter before he could drag the man into the nearest guest room. Sometimes his control broke long enough to enjoy secret kisses in the dead of night, clinging to the body he longed to worship in a manner far too intimate for a married man. Maybe he would let Snape kiss him. Hell, maybe he'd kiss Snape. But he shouldn't think like that. Shouldn't hope for that. All he could do was try his damnedest to survive this.

But it was so hard. Because all he could remember was the first time.

He had been twenty three at the time. The problems between Ginny and himself had become so bad that they had separated. The _Daily Prophet_, _Witch Weekly_, and almost every 'news' source, aside from the _Quibbler,_ had something to say about the dissolution of what they had believed to be the golden marriage. They brought up anger issues a lot, which was actually true. Problems with alcohol abuse, also true. Drug abuse, not true. Cheating on both ends, love children, domestic violence. There was even one wild story that the distraught Harry Potter had discovered that his beloved wife had secretly been the lover of a Death Eater thus had aided that side of the war while seemingly standing beside her family, defending all that was good and just in the world. They had been fighting too much and, while Grimmauld Place had some peace now that the two weren't screaming at each other constantly, the house was lonely with only Kreacher for company.

As usual, Harry found himself in Snape's company. After the years spent coming here, the silences between them were no longer so tense. With most people, there was always that need to fill the quietness, this pressure to perform, to be entertaining. That wasn't to say they never talked. Normally, when they did open their mouths, they argued but they had both been pleasantly surprised to learn that they could actually enjoy a civil conversation between them now and then. That night Harry just needed to think, to get away from the stifling atmosphere in Grimmauld Place, away from Kreacher's nosiness and his mumblings. Snape always kept very good liquor anyway.

Snape had been sitting in his usual chair while Harry had lain out on the floor in front of the fireplace. The older man found it strange but the carpet was soft and it was nice to stretch out this way. Green eyes stared at the ceiling, though he barely saw it at all, as he became lost in his own thoughts. Only when he finished his first glass of firewhiskey did he glance to Snape, prepared to sit up and pour another. He blinked in surprise to find that Snape was staring at him, a look of such intensity in his black eyes that his pulse began to race. Irritation set in, half expecting Snape to yell at him at any second for no reason at all, the younger wizard preparing to jump to his own defense.

It took a moment for Snape to realize he'd been caught. An ugly flush stained his sallow cheeks, black eyes darting away for a second before returning to Harry. The muscles in his face looked tense, guarded, but that heat remained in his gaze, causing his stomach to knot. Swallowing hard, Harry slowly sat up and set his glass down on the floor. "What?"

The man merely raised a questioning brow.

"You've been staring at me," he huffed impatiently.

"I'm waiting for you to be done with your whining so I might have some peace," Snape replied smoothly.

"I'm not even doing anything!" Harry snapped.

"You're moping."

"I'm drinking. Bloody hell, I apologize if that's so annoying!"

"You're agonizing over some foolish bint who can't be bothered to attempt making a marriage work," Snape growled. "All she needed was to borrow some of your fame and fortune so now that she has that, what does she need you for?"

"_What_?" Harry asked. At first, he was too stunned to be properly angry, though he could feel his wrath bubbling beneath the surface. He laughed incredulously then began shaking his head. "It's not like that. Ginny's not…She's not! I told you, we've been fighting a lot. It's….not really anyone's fault. We just…we both have many issues to work out. But she's not…she's not like that."

"Why not?" the older wizard demanded coldly. "The poor little Weasley chit has never known anything but poverty. The only reason anyone paid her any notice to begin with is that she became close to the Boy Who Lived. Before you befriended her moronic brother, she was _nothing_. Now? Now she's the wife of the world's hero, Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, with probably more money than she knows what to do with, her face plastered all over various pieces of filth such as _Witch Weekly_. All of her wildest dreams have come true. Now, as any young gold digger would want, she is off to find other avenues to expand her fame and wealth. She's used you for all you're worth."

"What the bloody hell has gotten into you?" Harry demanded. "Shite! Ginny's been nothing but good to your ungrateful arse! Now you want to run around saying…She's not…How could you think that?"

"How could you _not_?" Snape demanded furiously, pushing himself from his chair. At that moment, Harry scrambled to his feet, knocking over his glass in the process. Was the man really going to _fight_ him over his wife? Where had this all come from, anyway? "Will you really run back to her the moment she decides she wants you again?" he spat.

"Why wouldn't…I wouldn't _run_…but…she's my wife!" Harry exclaimed, the words coming out just as jumbled as his mind was.

"A foolish mistake on your part, I must say." The man was approaching him slowly now.

Harry's heart picked up, jumping erratically in his chest as he backed away, stumbling and having to catch himself on the wall. What in the world was going on here? "You're not jealous, are you?" Harry snapped.

Fury flared in Snape's eyes. Harry thought he saw a hint of panic cross the man's face, but shoved it aside for the moment. "Why, you little…"

"Jealous. That's it. Because you're stuck here all alone. Really regretting the decision to play dead, aren't you?" Harry snapped. The older man snorted but Harry rambled on, struggling to make sense of the sudden blazing anger that had taken possession of his friend. "You may be a heartless bastard but you want someone. Do you miss my mum? Is that it? Does Ginny remind you of her? Or do you just want _Ginny_?"

"I am hardly attracted to your wife, Potter," Snape growled. "She has the body of a prepubescent boy. I'm amazed by the amount of male attention she gets."

"She does not!" Harry fumed. Ginny was beautiful! Her body was healthy and athletic, not at all the stick thin forms that were found fit these days or those curvaceous women Ron preferred with more breasts than anyone knew what to do with. It made perfect sense that people would want her! She was one of the prettiest girls Harry knew. "God, what is _wrong_ with you?"

"Nothing is 'wrong' with me," Snape said stiffly. "I am merely puzzled as to why you would wish to stay in a marriage that clearly isn't working."

"You seem awfully ready for me to divorce her," Harry laughed bitterly. "You _do_ want her, don't you?"

"No, Potter. I do not want _her_."

"Then what…"

"Are you truly this dense, Potter? Must I spell it out for you?"

"Please!"

Harry waited, still pressed against the wall, watching Snape struggle with his decision. The older wizard seemed at a loss as to what to do. While he was well known for his coldness, his superior means of appearing unaffected as well as perfectly in control, he was also well known for having quite the temper and losing that enviable restraint of his when pushed too much. Only Harry couldn't figure out what had caused his temper to show. Nothing had even happened, other than him questioning why Snape was looking at him. A perfectly reasonable request, if you asked him! Now Snape looked for all the world wishing as though he could run away from this situation or punch Harry in the face. Possibly both.

"It would not be wise," Snape finally said, clutching to what of his dignity remained after such a show.

"Don't play the coward now, Snape," Harry snapped.

That was one sure fire way to press Snape's buttons. Before Harry was even aware of what was happening, the man had swept forward, strong hands grasping the front of his jumper. "Don't you dare play this game, Potter. I'm no coward, as you well know by now, you irksome little fiend! I only question whether you know what you're asking for. You would surely regret desiring the knowledge once it is yours."

"I doubt there's much you can tell me that would bother me," Harry snorted. They had both seen, and done, a great deal of things in their lives. They had survived a war. While not all things Harry would be completely comfortable with, he felt he knew Snape well enough by now for nothing to really shock him or get to him the way the man apparently thought it would.

There were no clever remarks, no words spoken at all. He stood still, staring up into Snape's eyes, waiting for the truth to come out. For a long moment, the man took the time to search his gaze. Harry let him look, resisting the urge to fidget, holding back that anxiousness that made him want to scream at the man to say or do something already. A soft gasp escaped him as a cool hand came to slide around his neck. He half expected the man to start strangling him but he used only one hand to grasp the back of his neck, thumb pressing hard against the side as the man pulled him forward finally to press his thin lips against Harry's. Almost immediately, he jerked away but there was nowhere to go, really, with his back pressed to the wall and Snape pressed to his front. The older wizard was unwilling to let him go just yet, instead using his other hand to grasp his hair, forcing his mouth back against his, kissing him firmly.

Harry couldn't think of anything other than how wrong this was. Snape was kissing him! It had to be a joke. Snape was stronger than he was, physically, making it a struggle to get away. Never once did he stop to enjoy it or even think about it. All he knew was that he had to get away as soon as possible. Using all of his strength, he finally managed to shove Snape off him, then proceeded to punch him as hard as he could in the face before turning and running from the house. Part of him wanted to go back later on to yell at the man for what he had done but, by the time he got home, he was far too confused to do much of anything about it.

Snape never attempted to contact him in the weeks that followed. Harry also made no move to write or visit the man. The kiss was on his mind though, all of the time. His mind reeled with possibilities, dreams plaguing his sleep that disturbed him to no end the first several nights. It wasn't until two and a half weeks had passed, the day Ginny first uttered the word divorce, that Harry finally found the courage to see his friend. There was a great energy bundled up inside of him that he wasn't entirely sure what to do with as he stormed up to the front door, letting himself in without knocking. Part of him thought he might hit Snape when the man came into view, snarling at him as he entered the living room from the kitchen.

But Harry didn't hit him. The arms that reached out moved to grab Snape, to pull the man closer, grasping his stringy, greasy hair to pull him down into a deep kiss. The hours that followed needed no words, only the passion that was driving them as they kissed and touched their way to Snape's bedroom. While it was never actually confessed, Harry did later. through hours of discussing the topic with Hermione, figured that the reason Snape never stopped it, never dared say anything to Harry's abrupt entrance and interest in sex had everything to do with not wanting to miss out on things. Snape had ruined things with his first love, Lily. Had never got to experience with her the things he wanted to. It was the way of a man who had lost so much and, even though he well knew he would never fully have the object of his desires, was willing to make the most of what he was given. Perhaps that's why, even now, all of these years later, with no change, no hope for things every progressing between them, that Harry and Snape both willingly put themselves through this torment.

Even now, every inch of his body tingled in response to the memory. He bit his lips, swearing he could feel the ghost of those searing kisses against them. Skin burned at the thought of those skillful hands worshipping every inch of his body. Most importantly, at the vivid image of Snape _finally_ pressing deep inside of his body, emerald eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the seat, while his butt cheeks clenched, almost feeling that ache all over again, a pain that never mattered much in comparison to the rewarding sensation of being so full. He moaned quietly at the sight behind his eyelids, of sweating, writhing bodies and a constant stream of groans and gasps. It was embarrassing that he felt his pants grow tighter as he became steadily aroused, eyes flickering open, willing the thoughts to go away in a panic when he fully realized what was happening and where.

He couldn't stay. He couldn't do this. With a shaky hand, he reached out to turn his car back on then glancing up to find that the curtains were pulled open and Snape was standing in one of the windows, staring at him. When their eyes met, Snape raised an eyebrow that caused Harry to sight heavily then reach out to turn the car back off. Fuck. He frowned deeply when Snape disappeared from the window only for the door to open seconds later. Harry remained sitting in his car for a few minutes, just staring at the house. Already he knew what he was more than likely going to end up doing, though he didn't quite have his mind made up, nor did he really have the energy to go about doing anything.

This was always easier on their weekly visits with the family. Even just going with Ginny while the kids were at school gave it a purpose, made him feel like he wasn't doing something wrong. God, there was nothing more he wanted right now than to run into that house and drag Snape to his bedroom then ride him into oblivion. All he could think right now was how badly he wanted the older man buried deeply inside of him. How was he supposed to walk in there and resist everything Snape had to offer? His hand inched back to the keys in the ignition but as his fingers wrapped around them he paused for a long time before finally pulling them out, resigning himself to his fate. It took every ounce of his will to move from his car, carrying legs that felt too heavy to the door.

"No need to be afraid, Potter. I don't bite," Snape said smoothly from his position in his usual armchair. Harry sighed heavily and closed the door. "Not unless you're begging me for it."

A shiver rolled down his spine, though he forced himself to roll his eyes and attempt to act naturally. "I'm sure people request it so much," he muttered sarcastically. The whole _I don't bite, unless you want me to_ line was old now. It almost surprised him that Snape was willing to throw it about.

Snape grinned slyly. "More than you would care to know."

That surprised Harry. "What?" he asked dumbly, heat rising to his face.

His friend looked at him as though he was being intentionally stupid. "Don't tell me you were under the assumption that I play celibate when you're not spreading your legs for me?"

Actually, that was exactly what Harry thought. While Snape was hardly one to run off proclaiming his emotions for the world's notice, but he had expressed his feelings for Harry quite clearly over the years for him to have a very good idea of how much the man loved him. So, it surprised him to learn that Snape actually had other lovers. It was too weird, as well as unpleasant, to think about. He didn't really imagine Snape to be so interested in sex, period, that it had surprised him that the man had been so horny whenever they were together. The shock alone outweighed everything else as he gaped at the man.

"What? When? Since…but I…just…what about…_Who_?" Harry demanded.

"That is hardly any of your concern, Mr. Potter," Snape said with some amusement. "Some men, some women over the years. Lately, I have maintained an arrangement with a co-worker of mine, Mr. Egan Duff. He is around my age."

"Egan Duff? Sounds…" Harry immediately began, prepared to go on about how gay and girly the name sounded. Looking at how smug Snape looked, he cut himself off then looked away from the man. "I just don't…just…_why_?"

There was an irrational need to know everything about this Egan Duff character welling up inside of him. How old was he exactly? What did he look like? Was he smart? Did Snape have feelings for this man? His jealousy had never been as wild or volatile as Snape's but he could feel it bubbling up inside of him, making him ashamed.

"Don't look so hurt, Potter," Snape said in amusement. "You've been shagging that cow for twenty years. You hardly have the right to complain of my sex life."

"Don't call her that," Harry growled. "That's my wife."

"Then, perhaps, you should have remained in her bed and kept your heart in her capable hands," Snape replied.

"Is that why I'm here then, Snape?" Harry spat.

"Snape? Are we back to that?" he asked sly smirk. "No longer feigning any level of intimacy between us?"

Harry glared. "_Severus_. If you're here to try to win me over…"

"I will spare you the humiliation of actually having to finish that statement," Snape said dryly, raising his hands to halt Harry's words. "You truly are as arrogant as your father was." Harry opened his mouth instantly to interrupt, to snap at him for bringing his father into the discussion as he liked to do when he wanted to make Harry upset. Snape just kept going, though, raising his voice slightly as though knowing of his intentions and wanting to stop them before they even started. "This is not about you. Rather our sons."

That gave pause to any venomous comments Harry had been creating in his mind. His anger began to dissipate as he stared at the man. Rarely did Snape ever refer to James and Albus as their sons, instead as _'your sons'_ or _'the boys'_ or any number of things. Even when it was just them. Maybe he thought it would help them not to slip up, letting the truth out if they always referred to the children that way. Maybe it made him feel better, like he wasn't really their father, by calling them that. It always warmed Harry's heart, though, the few times he acknowledged that he was the biological father of his boys.

"James and Albus? What about them?"

"Albus knows," Snape said quietly.

"Knows what?" If Snape wanted to talk about the boys, something big must have happened. Hardly able to wait for Snape to get to the point, he wanted to snap at him when he motioned for Harry to sit. Huffing at the pointed look the man gave him, Harry quickly complied then shot him an impatient look. "Knows _what_?"

"He is aware that I'm his father," Snape said.

"He _what_?" Harry snapped, immediately jumping to his feet. By the look Snape gave him, Harry just stood there a moment before slowly sitting back down. "You told him? Why?"

"I did not _tell_ him," Snape scoffed. "What sense does it make to tell him but not his brother?"

"Then how does he know?" Harry demanded.

"I do not know how, only that he does."

"How do you know?"

"Because I am more observant than you," Snape sniffed. "That is probably how our son is aware of the situation. While Jim may have taken after you…"

"Does it really physically hurt you to call him James?" Harry muttered. For the longest time, Snape had refused to call James anything other than 'the boy'. They had been fighting the time James had been born, which was why Harry decided against Evan James, the name they had agreed upon, and instead named him James Sirius just to infuriate the man. At least with Evan James, it had only been the middle name and Harry had given the excuse of it being his middle name, as well. With the git Snape had been around that time, more so than usual, Harry found it fitting punishment to name his firstborn son after two of the men he hated most. It was sad that the name did suit Harry pretty well, as they were after two of the most important men in his life. Once they made up, Harry did feel a bit bad about the whole thing, trying to offer up the various nicknames he and Ginny had come up with for Snape to use for him. They were all far too close to James for Snape's liking or too ridiculous. Only when James was four and a half did Snape decide that Jim was an appropriate name to call the child. No one, not even Snape himself, liked the name very much, though he did like to say 'At is at least better than the horrid moniker you cursed him with'.

"…in all of your athleticism and cluelessness, Albus has inherited my intellect," Snape went on. "When he remained the other day while the rest of you went out to your vehicle, it became clear to me."

"What happened?" he asked irritably. If Albus knew then it was not good at all. Honestly, they had all hoped the boys would never know the truth. Loathe as he was to lie to them this way, it was best for everyone involved. For him to know…Well, it wasn't going to get any better from here.

"He questioned how a parent could possibly act as though they have no children," Snape said. "I had a feeling then but it wasn't until we spoke further that it became clear to me that he knew. We never said so much aloud but it would be too difficult for you to understand how anyone could learn things without it being expressly given to them."

Harry's stomach sank. Snape's insults didn't even bother him as they normally would. He would like to think that it could be something else, that Snape was wrong, but he didn't like to lie to himself if he could help it. If Snape was so sure about this, then it had to be true. "Fuck," Harry groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

"That would be for you and your wife to discuss, Mr. Potter," Snape said. "I would suggest, of course, informing the two before they broach the subject themselves. _Without_ letting them on to the fact that you are aware of their intelligence of the matter. I only found it imperative that I enlighten you to this news, lest I fall prey to the undoubtedly dreadful consequences should you be unable to mend this…unexpected interference with an otherwise flawless plan."

"Can you please not use big words when my head is already a mess?" Harry grumbled, rubbing his temples. "So you thought it would be bad for you…if…bad things happen now that…someone else knows? And you want me to fix it before it can hurt you?"

"Not necessarily," Snape replied with a malicious grin. "I recognized the look on your face and was aiming to complicate matters for your fragile mind."

"Huh?"

Snape sighed. "Really, what have I ever found so charming in you? What I mean to say is that I was being mean by trying to confuse you and that the real reason I have told you this today is so that I may fulfill my one good deed of the year."

"Oh," Harry said. "Merlin. You're such a bastard sometimes."

"Yes, I know," Snape replied. "Do try to figure this out _before_ they come breaking down my door. As you and Ginevra made it your duty to raise the boys in a lie, it's your responsibility to explain it all to them, not mine. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Harry sighed.

* * *

It hadn't taken much to get Teddy to leave, though James had been furious when Albus made him go. He didn't care how mad his brother got because he was already so furious with him! It was still hard enough for him to come to terms with the lie he had been living without having this thrust upon him as well. He sympathized with Ginny a lot. She was his mother, regardless of whether or not they shared blood. That woman raised and loved him in a way that Snape never had and never would. Right now, Albus was angry with Harry and Snape for hurting her the way they had with their little affair. And here James was, being just like Snape! The other man in an otherwise happy, perfect relationship. Victoire was their cousin! And he was just going to betray her trust? For what?

"I can't believe you just did that! You don't even know anything about this, Al! You don't have the right to just go around being all mad! This isn't about you!" James was yelling as Teddy Flooed back to the flat he shared with Victoire.

"Snape's our dad," Albus said.

"_What_?" James shouted. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"Snape is our father. You know, biologically and all. Our parents have been lying to us our whole lives," Albus said. At the moment, James didn't really deserve to know the truth at all but, maybe, once Albus got to explaining, it would knock some sense into his brother.

"You're barmy, mate," James muttered, shaking his head. "Mum would never cheat on dad! Least of all with _Snape_!"

"It wasn't her. She isn't _really_ our mum," Albus explained.

"You really have gone mad, haven't you?"

"Listen! She faked her pregnancy! Dad was the one who was pregnant the whole time! Dad and Snape have been buggering for years!" Albus said.

"That makes even less sense than Mum shagging him!"

"No, it doesn't. I saw them, okay? I saw Dad and Snape snogging during Christmas hols!"

"You did not!"

"I did so! Look, Dad has a Pensieve, doesn't he? I'll _show_ you!"

"You're delusional. Besides, wouldn't someone have known that Dad was pregnant?" James demanded.

"I'm sure someone did," Albus said. "Just not everyone. They had to hide it, didn't they? Would be a useless lie to us if everyone else knew about it. Anyway, Snape's pretending to be dead, isn't he?"

"Right," James muttered. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this."

"James, I can _prove_ it!" Albus hissed.

Black eyes narrowed suspiciously at him. Albus had a feeling the first place he would take James would be the nearest mirror. "Fine. Prove it then."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Here y'all go! I was so excited to write this and was giddy writing half of it lol! As I usually hate my own work, I kinda worry about what the response will be to something I actually like xD hahaha.

I have gotten such a good reception to this story so far! The idea alone when I posted it on my FB gathered a good bit of interest so I'm very excited for that! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed because your words really made my day! Tokugawa Blitzer, dogsby, YetAnotherJanewayFan, Bakanika, Sydney-Jo, Monkeygirl66, Petuniac3, ieatmyfeelings, Saintsational, LIGHTNSHADOWS, Victoiree, and AlmondWithUnicornHair, you guys rock! I hope y'all continue to read and review! And to anyone who hasn't reviewed yet, I would love to hear from you!

A big thanks to two people who helped me with this chapter! Dani for being an amazing beta and my buddy Tokugawa Blitzer for looking over the first and second chapters for me when I was feeling a bit insecure about particular parts and giving me an opinion on it! Made writing a lot easier lol!

Chapter title comes from the song "Secrets" by One Republic.

Don't forget to like me on FB!


	3. Guilty for No Reason or Rhyme

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter Three: **_**Guilty for No Reason or Rhyme**_

* * *

When Harry returned home, he had no idea what he would do. For a while, he just stood outside, staring at the front door. For all his Gryffindor courage, he wasn't quite sure he had it in him to go in there and face his sons. Not with Albus knowing the truth, not entirely sure what to do about the fact. Had he told James yet? It had been days since their visit to Snape's. Surely, if Albus was going to tell, he would have done so by now. And, if James knew, then Harry would be aware of the fact. Being normal for the time being seemed the way to go, but he didn't have it in him just yet to face it. This was too much of a blow. There was too much fear in him about having to face up to his actions for him to take another step closer.

He wasn't out there for very long. Ginny and Lily must have returned home not that long ago, a bit earlier than expected, because, not even ten minutes later, he saw the curtains open, bright brown eyes peaking outside. Seconds later the door opened to reveal Ginny standing there, looking concerned. "Harry?"

"We need to talk, Gin," he muttered, shaking his head then finally walking into the house.

"About?" she asked suspiciously.

Uneasily he glanced around the house. The boys were unusually quiet. That didn't bode well. Turning back to his wife, he jerked his head towards the staircase then led the way up to their bedroom. Sensing his urgency, Ginny ran after him. The moment they were both secure in their bedroom, Harry closed and locked the doors, then cast a Silencing Charm around the space. "Sn…Severus wanted to see me today," Harry explained.

"Snape? Why?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"Because, apparently, Albus knows who Severus really is," Harry explained.

Her jaw dropped, bright brown eyes growing wide. Harry waited nervously, carefully watching his wife's reaction for the first move away from shock. After several seconds, she blinked rapidly, glancing away while moving her mouth soundlessly before licking her lips then pressing them tightly together. Ginny's hands fluttered across her blouse, smoothing down the lavender material while several strange noises escaped her throat. He folded his arms across his chest, heart feeling as though it might jump out of his chest. She needed time to digest the news, he understood, but, at the same time, he wanted to shake her to make her give him the response he needed so badly. It would be hard to rest easy at all until they dealt with this situation.

"_What_?" Ginny finally spat out.

"I know…"

"Why the bloody…Did Snape tell him? That _bastard_! He was the one who wanted to keep it all a secret! He was the one who suggested I pretend to be pregnant and raise _his_ sons! That man was too much of a cowardly bastard to acknowledge or care for them. He cared more about keeping his peace and quiet than taking care of his responsibilities! Not that I regret being their mother, I really love James and Albus. They are _mine_ whether or not I carried them in my womb! I will always love them! But he…He can't just…I can't believe he would…Mother of Merlin!" Ginny muttered beneath her breath, pacing the floor in front of their bed.

Harry frowned as she ranted about Snape, partly wanting to defend the man, but mostly just agreeing with her. At least, if it had been the case that Snape had told him. She was right, though. Snape had been unwilling to give up his life just to raise a family with Harry. The man did love his sons. Harry knew that. But the feelings he had for them had never been enough.

It was Ginny he belonged with. She was the woman who had stayed by his side through his infidelity, willing to make a marriage work no matter how many times he fell back into Snape's bed. She wasn't so accommodating to stand idly by and let it happen. There had been many incidences of her going to the Burrow with the kids for a while or even muttering words like separation and divorce. Ginny stayed through it all, willing to raise and love children that weren't her own, willing to live a lie to make their lives easier. She was the strong one who comforted him during those times when Snape had gone too far in hurting him, despite the fact that his love for another man broke her heart. Ginny was a better woman than he deserved, and he damn well knew it.

"Snape di…_Severus_ didn't…"

"You always do that," Ginny snapped. "You want to call him Snape just like the rest of us! I don't know why you insist on calling him _Severus_. He doesn't even call you Harry."

Harry flushed. Snape had already pointed it out to him earlier. It would have worked better for him if using the man's forename was easier. But, since everyone he knew referred to the man as Snape, it was hard for _Severus_ to come about naturally. Clearing his throat, he ignored the comment and went on. "He didn't tell Al."

"Then who did?" Ginny hissed. "Don't tell me you believe …"

He raised his hands, hoping it would get her to calm down somewhat. "Why would he tell him, Gin? Why tell him and not James?"

Ginny looked furious, but could hardly dispute it. Her jaw clenched, arms jerking somewhat as if she were tempted to place her hands on her hips or to punch him in the face, though they settled down at her sides. When she said nothing, he was quick to continue.

"We don't really know how Al knows because they never really came out and discussed it. But he definitely knows. I dunno if I can explain how, really, but I trust it…just…Al must have picked up something from somewhere," Harry said, face heating up more at the lame explanation. Hopefully Ginny would understand.

"If they didn't talk about it then how did Snape figure out that Al knows?" Ginny demanded agitatedly.

Harry sighed heavily as he shrugged. "I think they're both very good at communicating in a more…_subtle_ way. I couldn't really tell you myself, but he seemed really convinced of it. Seeing as it's Al, it shouldn't surprise us. He's very smart. Picks up on things, doesn't he?"

Ginny sighed heavily, grasping her fiery red hair and tugging on it. Frowning, Harry stepped forward, reaching out to her, but she quickly stepped away, glaring at him. "What the hell do we do now?"

Opening his mouth, he intended to start by telling her that the idea had been mentioned by Snape, but figured it was safer to mention the man as little as possible. "It's probably time we told them, Gin," he said quietly.

The redhead was far from oblivious. Her eyes narrowed at him, whole body stiffening. "You mean Snape thinks we should tell them," Ginny said plainly.

"Well…Yeah."

She snorted then shook her head. "No."

Harry sighed heavily. "Gin…"

"_No_," she repeated. "Look, there's no way that Al has proof at all! It can be a silly little assumption we can prove wrong and move on with life!"

"What if it's not that simple?" Harry demanded impatiently. "Maybe this is a sign. We shouldn't…we can't keep lying to them forever."

Ginny's eyes flashed angrily as she stepped forward, prodding his chest sharply with her finger. "This was what you and Snape wanted, remember?"

"He's the one who…"

"Yes, it was his idea, but you agreed with it. You helped him make all of the plans," Ginny reminded him.

"I never wanted him to…" Harry argued, his own temper rising. He had never wanted things to be like this! Honestly, he wanted Snape to be a real father to James and Albus. While the man had made it clear from the get go that he wasn't going to abandon his perfectly crafted lifestyle for children he never wanted, Harry had always maintained some hope that he would change his mind. That he wasn't serious. But, towards the end of his pregnancy, Snape made it clear that he was very serious.

"What's all this?" Harry had demanded _that day_ when he and Ginny had entered the man's home. Snape was sitting in the living room, kneeling on the floor instead of sitting in his usual chair. There was a chest in front of him with stacks of parchment, books, pictures, and other small things that Snape was packing away.

"Careless proof," Snape had responded coldly. "You're due to give birth in less than a month, Potter, and you have all of this lying about!"

Harry eyed the nearest book, the scrapbook that Hermione had put together of Harry's pregnancy. Ginny slowly came up to his side, placing a hand on his arm as she glanced over at the content. There was a copy of the pregnancy test results, sonogram pictures, newspaper clippings following _Ginny's_ pregnancy, but mostly pictures of pregnant Harry. Unless he was out in public, Harry didn't use his glamours, as they were very taxing and he barely had energy as it was. Even now, both Harry and Ginny had dropped their glamours upon entering the house. Ginny's maternity dress seemed so loose around her slender form while Harry's loose robes were stretched a little tight around his round stomach.

Feeling Ginny stiffen behind him, Harry glanced at her then followed her gaze down to the floor. There was an open photo album of Snape and Harry together. There weren't very many pictures, but each one was perfect. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips when he saw the picture the book was open to. It was one Harry had taken one night while Snape was sleeping. The angle was a bit awkward and didn't fully capture them both, as Harry was not all that camera savvy, especially taking pictures of himself. He had taken it out of some small desire to feel like a normal couple with the man, one who had pictures together, moments captured on film between them. The smile faded away as Snape snapped the book closed and roughly shoved it into the chest.

"It's not like anyone is going to come across them," Harry argued uncertainly. "How did you even get all of this?"

"That you're aware," Snape muttered. "What happens if you keep these things just lying about? Evan would eventually learn the truth, would he not?"

"Evan?" Harry muttered, stroking his stomach, feeling the child within kick at the sound of his name. "Truth? What are you on about?"

Snape eyed him. "Are you honestly this thick, or does your wife find stupidity attractive?"

"About as much as Harry gets off on being tormented, I'm sure," Ginny said dryly, taking Harry's hand.

"And would you know much about _Harry_ getting off, Ginevra?" Snape replied coolly.

"I'm his wife," Ginny growled through clenched teeth.

"Yet after all these years you're not pregnant, yet _he_ is…and with _my_ child, for that matter," Snape retorted.

"_What_ are you talking about?" Harry interrupted loudly as Ginny reached for her wand.

"I mean that should you keep all of these mementos the child will undoubtedly stumble upon the truth of his parentage," Snape replied.

"Oh…" Harry muttered, at a loss for words. It was like a kick to the gut. His mind felt completely blank, and he was so sick to his stomach he might have run to the bathroom had _running_ not been so difficult for him. Ginny's hand gave his a tight squeeze, the touch managing to pull him back to the present somewhat. "Right. Can't have that."

Up until then, Snape had only mentioned hiding the truth. That was the first time it had ever felt serious, felt _real_. At first, it hurt. Harry could only sit numbly on the couch with Ginny at his side, rubbing his back soothingly while Snape focused on hiding away their secret, muttering under his breath of their foolishness. "…waited too long before using those glamours…you're very lucky the world at large remains too homophobic, as well as completely blind, that they didn't think twice about that little extra weight you put on for those few months. Yes, I finally got a good look at those _Prophets_" then became." "…and you believed telling _Weasley_ was the wisest choice? Telling _anyone_ for that matter? You may trust them now, but what happens when they need a little extra money? Or when you infuriate them to the point that they want to see your name dragged through the mud? You're giving them something to use against you! This should have stayed between the two of you. The more people made aware of such things, the higher the probability that such things become known…!"

They discovered that Snape had gone through the house when he had been invited there just the other week. The man wanted to go over everything, to be sure the house was properly set up to accommodate a newborn child. He had gotten the rest of it just yesterday, though Harry hadn't noticed anyone snooping around the house. Then again, he had given Snape the option to visit whenever he pleased, setting the wards to allow the man easy entrance. He only never truly expected Snape to use it! The _Prophet_ copies he had found in storage somewhere and he was now subscribing _just to be sure_. By the time the man was done, Harry had worked himself out of a funk and into anger, though he was doing his best to keep his cool. The last thing he wanted to do was blow up now and make himself look like an idiot. If this was the game Snape wanted to play, then so be it. Harry remained cold, distant throughout the visit, making plans with Snape to make sure there was _never_ a chance for _anyone_ to find out the truth. He went so far as to sarcastically offer to Obliviate Ron, Hermione, Neville, Hannah, Luna, and Rolf. But Snape dryly replied that it would be unnecessary as well as being even more detrimental, as Memory Charms were easy to spot and would make anyone suspicious. Doing so could blow the thing up further, and Harry should have kept his trap shut to begin with.

When they left, Harry decided not to speak to Snape for a while. For the remainder of his pregnancy he remained at home, ranting about Snape. How he never actually cared for Harry or Evan, only himself. The git probably only let them visit so he could keep an eye on them. What had he even seen in that bastard, anyway? Ginny was there to listen, happily agreeing with every insult aimed at the man.

When he finally went into labor, Hannah was there to help. She had been in healer training for a year before quitting because she preferred to run the Leaky Cauldron. The witch didn't know much about medicine, but she knew enough about childbirth from what she had seen and done. Ginny grinned as she sat by his side, holding his son in her arms, looking like any proud new mother would. "Hi there, Evan," she had said.

"James," Harry muttered, resting his head on her shoulder as he looked at his squalling newborn.

"What?"

"His name is James Sirius Potter," Harry said firmly. He had had a lot of time to think about it. Evan James was a really good name. It even sounded better than James Sirius. But Evan was what Snape wanted, and, as the man wanted no part in the boy's life, what say should he have? James was Harry's father, Sirius was his godfather, and they were two of the most important men in his life! A more vindictive side of him cheered, agreeing that they were also men Snape loathed and had made his life hell at some point. Mostly, though, he was hurt, wanting no part in the name Snape had helped to create. For the first time in a long time, Harry actually believed he never wanted anything to do with the bastard ever again.

It was days before Snape was made aware of his son's birth, only when it was announced in the _Prophet_ did he know. No one made a move to share he news, so he stormed Grimmauld Place to yell at them. That had been a spectacular fight, ending only when Ginny shouted at them that they were disturbing the baby and should keep it down. In all of his anger, Snape actually seemed hurt by the fact that no one had informed him, that he had never even seen his son, and that Harry had dared chosen to give him _that _name.

Harry shook his head, hoping the painful memories would just leave him. Never had he wanted any part of this lie, but they had all become so entrapped by it that there was seemingly no turning back. Most days, Harry thought it was easier to live this way. Surely, it would be more complicated for the boys, and for his marriage, if it became common knowledge. Painful, even, that their other father didn't seem very interested in them. That Ginny should even accuse him of wanting this was harsh.

Ginny, too, seemed to have had her own little trip down memory lane, blinking rapidly then sighing heavily. "You allowed it to become this, Harry. Okay? You should have told him no. Should have never let him have his way. But you both thought it would be better. Don't deny that you felt that way either! You always wanted a normal, happy life. No matter what you tell yourself, deep down, being my husband and those boys being my sons was a hell of a lot more normal than coming up with some unconventional arrangement with them. You know that you can never have the life you want with Snape because he would never allow it…"

Her voice cracked here, causing Harry's eyes to widen in alarm. "Ginny, no, that's not it! You know I lo…"

"You love me?" she spat bitterly. "Sometimes I believe you, but days like these I really have to wonder if you even know what love is."

"Don't say that! You don't know one goddamn thing about…" Harry growled then backed up, forcing himself to shut up and calm down. "This isn't about us, Gin. Okay? There is no reason for us to be fighting at all! I was only telling you what I learned so we can decide _together_ what to do about this. I think…"

"Oh, stop talking like you're some mind healer, okay?" Ginny snapped. Harry trying to be calm in the middle of a fight normally aggravated her. He liked to think it was because she liked to fight or because she felt embarrassed by the fact that her husband could cool off faster than she could. "There's no reason to tell them, Harry. _If_ they actually know, then..."

They were interrupted by a loud banging on their door. There was fussing, what sounded like the children arguing loudly, though neither could really understand what they were saying. They shared a look before Ginny crossed the room to open the door. They could finish the discussion as soon as they got rid of the kids and it was not going to be a pretty one.

The second the door opened, James stormed in followed closely by a panicked Albus and a tearful Lily. "I can't believe you!" the oldest screamed.

Harry blinked in surprise. "James?"

"You lied to us!" James shouted.

"Oh shite," Ginny sighed, closing her eyes and dropping her head.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked resignedly.

"You fucking know what I'm talking about!"

"Watch your tone!" Harry said firmly.

"Do _not_ use that language in my house again, James Sirius Potter!" Ginny said shakily.

"Fuck my tone and fuck my language!" James shouted, throwing the book he carried right at his father's head. Harry stumbled back then reached out to catch it easily, heart thudding harshly in his chest as he recognized the book. The scrapbook Snape had hidden away in the chest. Harry noticed the photo album hanging his son's other hand, hanging open with the pages half coming out of the spine. A few of the pictures slid out of their pockets onto the floor.

"You need to calm down so we can talk about this," Harry said, trying to keep his authority clear. It was hard when he knew that James had the right to be angry. It felt wrong to sit here and demand he be calm with this when Harry knew it was not easy at all. But he was still his father and there were still rules that had to be obeyed. Regardless of the situation, he and Ginny never let the kids slack off on their rules. If they made exceptions, then, eventually, they wouldn't even care about the rules, and, in the end, Harry and Ginny themselves wouldn't care so much about enforcing them.

"I will not calm down! You…you lied to us! To all of us!" Never had James's face looked so red, or those eyes be filled with such anger. As James did resemble Snape more than his brother did, it didn't surprise Harry much that he looked so much like the man when he was mad and losing control. "_Snape_…he's our _father_?"

Behind him stood Albus with his arms folded over his chest, green eyes full of hurt and accusations, lips pressed into a thin line as he let his older brother do all of the work. While James looked ready to curse everyone in the room, Albus remained eerily calm. The oldest may have looked so much like his father in the state he was in; he was more like Harry in that he got to that state so easily. The green-eyed boy, though, held his cool with far more ease that could only make him a Snape. Beside him stood Lily, face bright pink as tears streamed down her face, sniffling while biting her lip, trying to choke back the sobs in order to listen to the argument.

Ginny stood off to the side of everyone, hugging herself while watching the kids sympathetically. Feeling her husband's gaze on her, she turned to glower at him before turning away from him again. He sighed heavily then looked back to James, nodding slowly. "Yes. He is."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" James spat. "What about Mum? You _cheated_ on her, didn't you?"

He hesitated only a moment before slowly nodding his head. "That's right."

"Why? And with _Snape_ of all people?" James demanded. "Mum's pretty! And she's really nice, good at Quidditch, and…and she loves you! Why wasn't that enough, huh? Why _Snape_? He's…he's ugly! And he's mean. And he's…he's so old!"

"That's…that's complicated," Harry explained, glancing guiltily at Ginny who looked to be grinding her teeth.

"And _you_!" James shouted, spinning around to point his finger at Ginny. "Why did you stay with him? Don't you have more goddamn self-respect than that?"

"James, do _not_ speak to your mother that way!" Harry snapped, reaching out to grab his son's arm to pull him back. Ginny was glaring at the boy now, looking ready to have her own say, but James beat her to it.

"And you lied to us, too! Why? You didn't have to lie for him! He's a cheating sod who doesn't even deserve you. You should have…should have never gone along with it! Where's your pride, woman?"

"I am your _mother_ and you _will_ speak to me respectfully," Ginny said.

"I'll only respect people who have earned it!" James snapped. "I _hate_ you!"

"Jamie, don't say that!" shrieked fourteen year old Lily.

"You don't hate them, Jay," Albus sighed.

"You will go to your room until you can calm down! I get that you're upset, but you do not have the right to speak to your parents that way," Ginny said, jabbing her finger in the direction of the hallway. "Go on!"

"No! I want to know. I have the _right_ to know, don't you say? Unless you and Dad want to cook up more _lies_ to feed us!" James snapped. By now there were tears leaking out of his own eyes that he wiped away with his arm quickly. "Merlin knows we just _love_ being lied to!"

"That's enough!" Harry snapped. "I'm sorry we kept this from you, but we have our reasons! And we will discuss it, as a family, when you can have a civil conversation."

"Oh, so never?" James snorted. "Fuck you and your civil conversation!"

"JAMES!"

"No. I'm done. I'm out of here," James snapped.

"James Sirius Potter, you get back here right now!" Harry called after him.

"JAMES!" Ginny shouted, making to follow after him. Lily stepped aside, but Albus stood in the way.

"Maybe you should just let him go," Albus said dully. "He's upset."

"We're all upset!" Ginny cried. "That doesn't mean he just gets to yell, say whatever he wants, then run off!"

"No one really gave you the right to keep something like this from us, either," Albus said coldly.

Ginny looked at him in surprise. Albus was normally very respectful towards her. He was the calm one, the reasonable one. There were occasions when he might not be as polite as usual, but it was normally well deserved and aimed towards someone else.

"It's not like…He's probably just off to Teddy's," Albus said irritably, looking more disturbed than ever. "You know how close they are."

"Right. Well, I'll firecall Teddy and see then," Ginny said. "Just so we know where he is, at least."

"Fine," Albus said. "But I'm going to see Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione…Oops. I mean Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, right?"

Ginny flinched, even took a step back, and almost immediately Albus looked regretful. His softly spoken words were far harsher than anything James had shrieked at them.

"See?" he laughed nervously. "Just…We just need to get away for the night. Blow off some steam. You can't expect us to just…be okay with this."

No one said anything for a few minutes, Lily's sniffling, coughing, and hiccupping sounding louder than before. Harry didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to run after James, to fuss at him for acting this way, or to apologize profusely, forbidding him to leave, or beg him to stay. Another part wanted to try to talk to the people in this room with him now. Then there was part of him that wanted to be completely alone. The biggest part of him, though, wanted to run to Snape and seek solace in his arms, pick a fight, or drink his misery away in the man's hardest liquor.

Before anyone had a chance to speak, Albus turned and left the room.

"Daddy," Lily said, her tone managing to break his heart. His throat felt dry, wetness pooling in his eyes as he looked at her pitiful form. Her voice cracked under the strain of her emotion. "Daddy, how could you?"

"Oh, Lily," Ginny sighed, reaching forward to pull the girl into her arms. She then glared over Lily's head at him. "This is _your_ fault, you know."

"I didn't! I didn't tell them, Gin…I never…" Harry argued.

"This is why _lying_ and _cheating_ are normally considered very bad things," Ginny snapped. "I never wanted this for my life, Harry. And they don't deserve to go through it either. But, because you and Snape wanted to be selfish…now everyone gets to hurt."

"Ginny!" he called out as she led Lily from the room. But they kept walking and Harry knew better than to follow. Everyone was gone for now. His whole family was mad at him and it was his own damn fault. He could defend himself until he was blue in the face, but he had allowed this to happen. Snape wasn't the supreme ruler of the world. Harry could have told him no. He could have been honest from the start. But he hadn't been. He let himself be dragged into this lie, letting it consume his life. Now, he would have to suffer its consequences.

But if he was going down, he was bringing his partner in crime with him.

* * *

To add onto his already awful mood, Victoire and Teddy were snogging on the couch when James Flooed in. They pulled apart in confusion, melting into two very different expressions. Victoire blushed brightly, offering James a sheepish smile as she straightened herself out. Teddy looked panicked as he sat up, trying to scoot away from his girlfriend while clearing his throat. The interesting mango orange color of his hair quickly began turning some dirty brown color before settling on a nice dark purple. Seeing them entwined in that way made his gut churn, but he wasn't as worried about them as other things.

"James, are you okay?" Victoire asked in concern, sitting up more and frowning.

"Can I stay with you guys tonight?" he asked, voice trembling far more than he was happy with. He wanted to be mad! Screaming and snapping at everyone would have been better than this heart wrenching misery.

"I don't…" Teddy immediately said, distressed as he looked from Victoire to James. Then he gave the boy a longer look, as though just realizing how horrible he looked. "Merlin, James, what happened?"

"Of course you can stay here, sweetie!" Victoire said, sliding out from under the blanket she and Teddy had been wrapped in. Like her mother, Fleur, she enjoyed dressing up whether she was in public or in private. Even lounging around her flat, cuddled on the couch under a blanket with her man, she was wearing plum colored heels that matched the belt around her lavender dress. The dress itself was form fitting as well as incredibly short. Her hands moved quickly to yank it down, but it still didn't travel very far down her thighs. Her silvery blond hair was done up in curls that looked as though it had been styled elegantly before they settled in on the couch. Being part Veela, the daughter of the gorgeous Fleur Weasley, Victoire was devastatingly beautiful. Tonight, though, James didn't have it in him to hate her the way he might have any other night stumbling in on them in the middle of their kissing. He could have walked in on full blown sex and barely batted an eye.

There were more important things than the love life of Teddy Lupin right now.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" Victoire asked, pulling him into her arms. James found himself clutching her slender form, grabbing at the comfort she was gladly offering. Instead of verbally answering, as he didn't trust himself to do so, he shook his head vigorously to inform her that he in no way desired to talk about it.

"Was it…it's not…about…what…earlier?" Teddy asked timidly.

"What happened earlier?" Victoire demanded.

"No…it's not," he croaked.

"Oh, you poor dear," Victoire cooed, pressing her lips to his mop of black hair. "We'll set you up in the guest room, okay? Are you hungry? Tired?"

James just shook his head again, stifling a sob as hot tears ran down his face. God, this hurt so much worse than it should. There was no room to sit and examine why he was so upset. This was pretty big news. The woman who had raised him hadn't been the one to give birth to him. His dad had been the pregnant one. And the godfather he always enjoyed visiting was apparently his biological dad. It was all so confusing, and was still so hard to swallow, despite all of the proof they had found in that chest locked away in the attic. This was so _wrong_! Everything about this was wrong.

"Come on, then. Shhhh…It'll be okay. Let it all out."

Victoire led him down onto the couch between Teddy and herself. He wanted, badly, to wrap himself entirely in his lover and never let go, Victoire be damned! He might have pushed his 'cousin' away had he not felt as though the entire world would fall apart if he even loosened his grip. It was enough to have Teddy wrap his arms around him, kissing the side of his head, murmuring soothing words into his ear. Even the blonde haired beauty he normally envied was able to provide comfort he doubted he could find elsewhere. Despite their insistence, he wouldn't say a word, eventually finding sleep in their arms.

* * *

It was probably rude not to say anything to Ron or Hermione when he stumbled into their home through the Floo. Albus didn't entirely trust himself to say anything. Only Ron was in the living room, reading the newspaper when he entered. When he headed to the staircase, his uncle called out a greeting that Albus could only nod to, not even daring to look in the direction of the red haired man. Midway up the staircase, he ran into Hermione with her warm greetings, but he flinched away when she reached out to hug him and ran faster upstairs. He felt too agitated to trust his voice. He could well snap at anyone over nothing or fall into despair. There was too much confusion and sadly no manual that could tell him what to do in a situation like this. The only person he trusted had been his best friend his whole life. The fact that they weren't _really_ cousins didn't change that. Not to him.

"Hey, Rose," he muttered as he marched into her room, slamming the door shut and immediately locking it.

Rose Weasley jumped on her bed from where she had been clutching a letter, reading through bloodshot eyes. Normally Albus might have been concerned, but his own issues left him too preoccupied to care. She sniffed then glared at him. "Alby, don't you know how to knock? I could have been…! Oh Merlin, are you okay?"

"No," he said shakily, blinking rapidly as he moved across the room to sit beside her. To her credit, Rose was a very patient young woman. She set her letter aside then folded her legs Indian style, sitting quietly and watching Albus carefully as he lay across the foot of her bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Even if he knew what to say, he didn't think he had the energy to say it. There was so much on his mind, though, by this time, he wasn't entirely sure what was going on up there. It was too much for him to really focus. His emotions changed quickly, from anger to sadness to nothingness then it would start all over again. They must have sat there for a little over an hour before Albus took a deep breath then turned his eyes to Rose. She was still sitting in the same place, though her brown eyes were staring through the window, lost in her own little world.

He cleared his throat before speaking quietly. "Mu…_Ginny's_ not my mum."

"What?"

"My mum isn't my mum, Rose," Albus said a bit louder.

Rose frowned deeply, shifting uncomfortably. "Don't say that, Al. That's mean. I hope you didn't tell her that."

"It's the truth," Albus confessed miserably. "She didn't give birth to me."

Rose's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But…She was pregnant. Everyone saw. And she gave birth and…Al, it was in the papers! Everyone saw her…Except us, obviously, but…What's gotten into you? What makes you think she's not?"

"My dad was pregnant with James and me," Albus whispered. "You know how the world is about gays…only it was worse back then. And…Well, our real father is supposed to be dead. Snape, you know? Well Dad cheated on Mum with him and got pregnant so they hid the pregnancies. Mum pretended to be pregnant, Dad pretended not to be pregnant, and we've all been living a lie for our entire lives."

Rose stared at him blankly. "What?"

He only frowned, staring at the ceiling once more, as he let it sink in for her.

"But Uncle Harry would never cheat on Aunt Ginny! He just wouldn't!" Rose exclaimed. "They love each other."

"I thought so, too," Albus replied, finally sitting up in bed then turning to face her. Rose scooted back on the bed away from him, looking upset. "But my Dad loves Snape. I saw them together during Christmas hols. They kissed. That's where this all started. Then it all just sort of came out. I watched them, though. They…they _really_ love each other."

"But that's…it's not…it's _Snape_!" Rose shrieked.

"Shhh!" Albus hissed warningly, eying the door. There was no telling who was listening in.

"Don't _shhh_ me, Albus Severus!" she snapped. "Oh Merlin…They named you after him!"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God," Rose groaned, slapping her hand over her mouth. "But…but he's so…he's so _mean_! And ugly!"

"I know."

"But your mum is so pretty, nice, talented, and all sorts of wonderful things. It doesn't make sense, Al, I'm sorry! James was probably just pulling a prank on you…"

"James had nothing to do with this, Rosie. I _saw_ them."

"Well, then, James must have put you up to this. This isn't funny…"

"This isn't a joke, Rose! Why would I…You know I never…This is _real_! You know what? Never mind. I just needed someone to talk to because I'm kind of dealing with a lot of shite right now, and I really don't need to waste the time trying to convince you."

He might have actually left if he had any idea of where to go. Albus just threw his legs over the side of the bed, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. Tears stung his bright green eyes, arms folding around his chest, wishing pure physical strength could hold in the flood waiting to burst through him. This whole situation was a mess and there was no one he could really confide in. Anyone who already knew he was upset with. Then, anyone who didn't know wouldn't really believe him, anyway.

"God, you're serious, aren't you?" Rose muttered. He felt the bed move as she scooted closer, wrapping her arms around him. Twisting his body around, Albus was able to hold her tightly, grateful that she seemed to be giving in. He needed her. They had grown up together and Albus had never been closer to anyone in his life. "I'm _so_ sorry, Al. I have no idea what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Albus assured her, voice trembling, threatening to break entirely.

Rose hissed his mop of unruly black hair then tugged on him, urging him to follow her. Within a few minutes, they were wrapped in a more comfortable position, lying down on her bed while hugging close.

"I just don't know what to do," Albus whispered. "I'm so mad at everyone right now. But I also feel bad, you know? My mum kept this a secret so I hate her, but then I feel badly for being upset because she was hurt in all of this, too. Then my _dad_! He was my hero, role model, my whole life. Harry Potter, the epitome of all that is good, right? Apparently not." He laughed bitterly. "He cheated on his wife, lied to the world, and was stupid enough to think he could get away with it forever."

"I still can't believe he would do that," Rose said. "He's just…he's Uncle Harry! And Aunt Ginny! I thought they had the best marriage of anybody!"

"So did I."

"So what did they say? Tell me everything."

And he did. He started with the night he saw Harry and Snape kissing. Then explained the theories he came up with during the rest of the year, what he saw whenever the two men were together, his certainty of it all, the meeting with Snape, catching James and Teddy, telling his brother, then the pair's adventures into the attic and what they had discovered there. The redhead continued to interrupt him, to stutter out questions and exclamations about the news of his brother, but Albus didn't really have it in him to focus on _that_ aspect of things. Rose eventually let it go to listen to him so he get through the rest of the story.

"To be fair, he could have handled it a bit better," Rose said.

"Would you handle something like this very well?" Albus pointed out.

Brown eyes dropped to her periwinkle floral bedspread while combing her fingers through her wild red hair. He continued to look at her, waiting for a response. When enough time had passed, he made to speak again, knowing an answer from her wasn't all too important. But then she muttered something unintelligible, causing Albus to quirk an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"I haven't yelled at him yet," Rose said clearly, though her voice was still quiet.

"Yelled at whom?"

"My dad."

"Why would you yell at your dad?"

"I…Well, I'm pretty sure he's been cheating on Mum."

"You're _joking_!" Albus gasped.

"Were _you_ joking?"

"About wha…Oh…Well, no!"

"Good, then. I'm not, either!"

"But Uncle Ron would ne…"

"Don't even finish that sentence! I thought the same about Uncle Harry, didn't I?"

Albus's mouth opened then closed several times before he shook his head. Rose had a point. Albus himself would have never suspected his father of having an affair had he not seen the evidence with his own eyes! Plus, Harry had always been a bit more loyal, smart, and other things than Ron. But, like with Harry and Ginny, everyone always saw how much love was between the pair. Sure, Ron and Hermione fought a ton but that was part of their charm! Besides, hadn't Albus seen so much _love_ between his parents before realizing that it wasn't really there at all? Not the way he had seen it, at any rate. He had a feeling he was going to be looking at Ron and Hermione a lot differently when he next saw them.

"What makes you think he's…Did you see him…?"

"No, I didn't _see_ him," Rose said sadly. "But he's just been…so…I dunno! Scorp just thinks I'm plain old silly…"

"_Malfoy_? Well he's a right prick, isn't he?" Albus pointed out.

"He's my _friend_, Albus Severus," Rose said stiffly. "But I've talked to him loads about this. He's dealt with this, too, you know? Though I shouldn't really tell you because it's none of your business, but his family had many issues, too. More than mine, definitely. Maybe you could talk to him, too. He'd be very understanding, I'm sure."

"I am _not_ talking to Malfoy. No offense, but he's a right git," Albus muttered.

"And so are you, when you want to be," she snapped. "Like right now. You barely even know Scorpius!"

"I know enough," Albus snapped. "He bullied us first year…"

"We were all eleven. He was stupid! He thought he was being funny," Rose defended.

"He goes through girls like crazy," he added.

"Oh hush. He likes to date. So what? We're still in school, we can't all be in serious relationships. Sure, half of our friends are claiming they'll marry as soon as they graduate, but do you _know_ the divorce rates for people who marry this young? He likes to have fun and, so long as he lets everyone know what they're getting into, I don't see the harm. I _do_ think he's a bit slow in not realizing that some of these girls get in a bit too deep and he should probably learn when to stop, but that's hardly his fault," Rose explained.

"I didn't come here to argue about Malfoy," Albus mumbled. "So why do you think your dad is cheating?"

Rose blushed. "Well, it's silly," she said, squirming around.

"I bet it's not. Just tell me."

"Well, he's gone a lot, you know? And Scorpius mentioned once that he knew when his parents were cheating because they were gone at odd times. And, he acts sort of strange, especially when he's gone like that. I don't have much proof, really, but…Oh, Al, I just have a really bad feeling about it! And I know it's so pathetic to think this just because of a _feeling_, but what if it's a gut instinct and it turns out to be real? I've been trying so hard to try to figure it out but I wouldn't even know where to start!"

Rose was working herself up quickly, so Albus wrapped his arms around her tightly then began stroking her arm. She took this as a sign to stop, closed her eyes, then began breathing deeply to calm herself. Albus didn't think it was so silly at all. It wasn't much to go on, but gut feelings tended to mean something. The whole theory of Snape being his father had been a gut feeling. There hadn't been much proof before he went into looking for it, but he felt he had known long before he had the proof in front of him. If Rose thought that Ron was having an affair, then he very well could be. And Albus was going to support her through it all.

"We'll figure it out, Rosie. I promise," Albus assured her. "I'll do whatever I can, alright? We can always hope you're wrong, but if…We'll know, okay? I'll help."

The redhead smiled weakly through her tears. "Thank you so much, Al."

"That's what I'm here for," he assured her. "So what do you say? Shall we start snooping or would you rather just…"

"Forget?" Rose filled in as Albus trailed off.

Albus smiled humorlessly. "Exactly."

"That sounds perfect right now," Rose sighed in relief. "My mind has been going nonstop since I first thought of this! We need something to keep us occupied and off of unpleasant subjects."

"Hmm," Albus said thoughtfully. "We can always steal Hugo's Quidditch magazines and see if we can find shirtless pictures of Lennon Lerato."

She seemed excited by the idea at first, smirking slyly as she leaned in to nudge Albus. "I guess being gay really _can_ be inherited, can't it? Think about it…your dad…James…_you_…"

At first, he was a bit irritated with her for bringing up the two things he wanted to forget about: his dad's illicit affair with Severus Snape and Teddy's cheating with James. In the end, though, he couldn't help but see the humor. Throwing his arms over his face, he groaned. "I'm really glad we're not really related because I really hate you right now. And I _don't_ feel guilty about saying that now."

Rose only giggled and slid out of bed. "I guess since we're _not related_ then you can create a diversion by flirting with Hugo."

Albus gaped at her. "That's still gross! Besides, _he_ still thinks we're cousins! He would freak!"

"Thus making it the perfect distraction," Rose giggled, opening her door. "C'mon, Al! Isn't Lennon worth it?"

Albus muttered under his breath as he followed her out of the room. He didn't mind occupying Hugo, but he was not going to follow Rose's teasing advice.

* * *

Calloused fingers had raked through his unruly hair more times than anyone would dare count as he hesitated outside of Snape's door. This wait wasn't nearly as long as all of the others. There was too much going on, his entire being too jittery to just stand here and think about everything a million times over. Now was not the time to think. He couldn't even if he had tried. With so much happening, his brain was a complete mess with no hope of deciphering anything running through it. Curling the fingers in his hair into a fist, he brought it down to bang on the door, which opened almost immediately.

"Back so soon?" Snape asked dryly.

"Let me in," Harry said, shoving his way past the man.

"You could at least wait for an invitation, Potter," Snape chastised him.

"Firewhiskey. I need some," Harry said as he began pacing the floor.

"A please, at the very least," Snape said, some dark amusement lingering in his eyes as he leaned against the wall to watch him.

_Fuck it_, Harry thought to himself. All he wanted was to lunge across the room and kiss the man. Why not? His marriage was apparently nothing. His children hated him. It was his own fault, sure. But, if so much was going wrong, why couldn't he have the one thing he wanted more than anything else? Every ounce of his being had craved Snape since their last touch. It had been far too long since he felt the man touching him intimately, feeling the heat and fullness of his lover pressing deep inside of him. A shiver rolled all through his body, chill bumps erupting over his skin. This was what he had been denying himself for so long, and, at this moment, there seemed to be nothing left to lose.

Jaw tightening, fists clenching at his sides, Harry looked away from the man's intense eyes to glower at the orange flames dancing in the fireplace. That wasn't true, was it? There was a lot left to lose. He hadn't really lost anything yet. There was hope. Everyone had a right to be upset with them. But this news was fresh in their minds. Surely, they could work through it. Harry owed it to all of them to stand strong, be there for them, and keep his urges under control. He had put them all through enough and he wasn't willing to hurt them anymore.

"I shouldn't have come here," he muttered, shaking his head then heading back to the door. A firm hand reached out to stop him as he went to pass by.

"Sit down, Mr. Potter," Snape instructed, motioning towards the living room furniture while removing his wand, wordlessly summoning two glasses and a bottle of his strongest firewhiskey.

"Thought you didn't do magic if you could help it," Harry muttered.

Black eyes narrowed at him in annoyance. "I won't risk you running out like some petulant child. Therefore, I assumed my staying in the room was a necessity. Seeing as getting good and pissed is the only way you know how to handle things," he waved the glasses pointedly.

Harry glared, snatched one of the glasses and the bottle then marched over to the couch. "You don't even know the half of it." Snape's point about his past issues with alcoholism made him reluctant to pour himself a drink, but he did so anyway, quickly downing what was there before pouring another, then handing the bottle to Snape as the man sat beside him.

"By all means, enlighten me," Snape said sarcastically. As irritating as his tone was, Harry knew the man well enough by now to know that he actually wanted Harry to talk to him.

"They all know," Harry said, sipping from his glass.

"All?"

"Mhm," he said, gulping down the rest of his glass. Before Harry could even reach for the bottle, Snape grabbed his wrist to hold him still while he poured it for him. Feeling the need for another sip before going on he raised the glass, all too aware of the man's impatient look. "Al, Jamie, Gin, Lil. They know."

"I was under the impression your _wife_ was already aware of the situation."

Harry shot him a dirty look. "You know. She is aware of the situation. Now they're all angry. Have a right to be, I guess, but that doesn't make it any easier."

"Hmm."

The coldness and wariness that were familiar to those dark eyes faded away into the burning heat that Harry had been subjected to many times. The room felt suddenly warmer, a telltale tightening in his stomach causing him to shift uncomfortably. Harry cleared his throat, glanced away, then swallowed his firewhiskey quickly enough to make his throat feel like it was bleeding while his vision swam momentarily. "Don't look at me like that," he rasped suddenly. "We can't."

"I've said nothing."

"You don't need to," Harry muttered.

Cool fingers rubbed the back of his neck firmly while the taller man shifted closer to him. Close enough that Harry could feel his warm breath against his skin, could smell the heady aroma of the man's breath. Desperately, he wanted to lean in and kiss him, to lick every crevice of his mouth, to taste whatever it was that had been welcome into that warm, wet cavern. Thoughts of Snape's mouth, as usual, became fond memories of the man working said mouth and that wickedly talented tongue over his aching hardness. A stirring in his cock alarmed him, assuring him that now was the time to bolt, though he couldn't bear the thought of running away now.

"Don't delude yourself into thinking there's anything left for you there," Snape whispered. "It would only be the more devastating should you get your hopes up. There are many aspects of your seemingly perfect life that just don't work, and it's about time you saw that."

"Please. Don't," Harry warned, shrugging out of the man's touch.

Frustration made its way into the older wizard's face as he scoffed in disgust. "Why do you insist upon hiding here to torment us both?" he demanded coldly. It was not often that Snape allowed any hint at his feelings, particularly since Harry ended their last affair. It wasn't right, what he did, and he knew it. Everyone was hurt by this. Especially Snape, who always seemed to get the raw end of the deal. Harry hated himself at this reminder, watching sadly as Snape stiffly moved to the far end of the couch.

"Why do you let me?" he asked quietly, also curious to the answer. Was it the same reason that Harry was so willing to put himself through the hell of being near the man? Because the pain it gave was well worth the time spent together? No matter what it was they were doing. Because he couldn't quite stop himself?

Snape said nothing, only glaring at him furiously until Harry could no longer stand it and he looked away.

They continued to drink in silence.

* * *

James began to rouse from sleep when Teddy got up to carry Victoire into their bedroom. His eyes opened just barely to glimpse at his cousin's long legs draped over his lover's arms before falling back into dreamland where he was playing Quidditch at school. It was Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw and Albus was playing Seeker for the other team. In his dream, Albus was loads better on a broom than he was in real life, though Gryffindor was still kicking arse in the game. For some reason, James had to alternate between being the Seeker and a Keeper but he was doing a fairly good job…

He groaned loudly as his body was moved, the pull of reality starting to take him out of his sleep again. "C'mon, baby. I don't know if I can carry you or not," Teddy was muttering. James's body fell against his, arms wrapping around the other wizard's slender frame, nuzzling against his neck. "Jamie, please. C'mere." There was a loud grunt as Teddy took him into his arms, struggling to pick him up. Being nearly as tall as Teddy and not nearly as light at Victoire made it difficult. Teddy managed to start lifting James from the couch, but his feet slid on the carpet and he ended up falling back into the cushions with James in his lap. It was enough for the black haired boy to blink wearily, grasping at his dream to no avail. He had just seen the Snitch, after all, and Albus had gone for it. Who had won the game? Where was he? Oh, right. "W'time issit?"

"A little after midnight. You and Vic fell asleep on the couch," Teddy whispered. "Come, let's get you into bed."

"You'll stay with me?" James asked, letting Teddy pull him up.

The other wizard frowned. "I dunno, Jamie. I mean…Vic…and…"

"Mmm," James said, too tired to care much at the moment. He could feel himself slowly waking up, though, as Teddy helped him to the guest bedroom. By the time his boyfriend had pushed him into bed, he was awake and not pleased by the prospect of him going to bed with Victoire, whether she was sleeping or not. As Teddy moved the sheets to cover him, James reached out to stop the progress. "C'mere," he said, pulling Teddy down on top of him.

"James, we can't!" Teddy hissed in a panic, looking over his shoulder at the halfway open door.

"Why not? She's sleeping," James said, wrapping his arms and legs around the older wizard to keep him from leaving. "We can just tell her that I was having nightmares or I was really upset so you decided to stay with me."

"She won't think that's strange?" Teddy asked uncertainly.

"Nuh uh," James promised, leaning up to press kiss him.

Teddy shivered, relaxing into James's grip to kiss him back. Adrenaline pumped through James at the very thought of all they could do. Really, when he started this, all he wanted was to keep Teddy in bed with him, to curl up against him as they slept, to wake up in his arms. But this new prospect was loads better. They had come so close to going all the way just earlier. Why not do so now? And doing so in Teddy's flat that he shared with Victoire, right under her nose? Well, that would be the sweetest victory of all. _He's mine, all mine_, James thought smugly, pressing his tongue into Teddy's mouth. _You'll never have him. He'll never really be yours. _

Some dark part of him wanted Victoire to wake up and walk in. She would be furious with them both. James didn't want there to be issues for Teddy, but if it was the only thing that would give him the metamorphmagus completely then he wanted that. He wanted Teddy all to himself. If he ever had the opportunity to shove his relationship with Teddy in her face, would he? Unlikely. But the possibility of being caught was as thrilling as it was unlikely. Victoire liked her sleep and probably wouldn't be up until the sun was.

"Mmm…What about…Vic?" Teddy gasped, pulling his mouth away only to have James attach his lips to his throat.

"She's fine. Please, Ted. I'm ready. I _need_ you," James pleaded, desperately moving to suck a particularly sensitive area of the other's neck. Teddy gasped, squirming above him, combing the fingers of one hand through James's hair.

"But…what about…earlier?" Teddy asked. "Al and…and everything?"

"I want to _forget_ about earlier," James said irritably. That had never been the intention, but now that Teddy had brought it up, it was ruining his mood. How was he supposed to be aroused when his boyfriend was mentioning all of the drama that had attacked his life today? Or was it yesterday now? Shoving Teddy away seemed like a good idea now, to get far away from everyone to sulk. He disliked the hatred, anger, and pain that swarmed into his heart. Flashes of the day's events ran through his mind until he was ready to scream in frustration. Instead, he moved his lips to Teddy's, kissing him hard.

"You're upset," Teddy gasped, trying to pull away. "We shouldn't."

"What the _fuck_, Ted?" James hissed, shoving him away. "I _should_ have slept with Wood. He wouldn't be such a pussy about this whole thing. But there I was, deciding I wanted to wait to be with _you_ like some fucking girl!"

"Jay, calm down. You know I love you," Teddy whispered pleadingly. "It's just…do you really think this is the right time?"

"You don't," James said icily. "_Fuck_." He shoved the covers away from his body then moved to get out of bed. "I'm just going to go stay with Uncle George or something."

Before he could leave, warm arms wrapped around his middle and dragged him back into bed. Sighing heavily, James let himself be guided onto his back while Teddy stretched out beside him, propping his head up on his hand with his elbow pressing into the mattress. Bright blue eyes looked down at him worriedly while a tender hand stroked down the side of his face. "James, what's going on with you?"

James wiggled around on the bed in agitation. "More than I want, that's for sure," he muttered. "Listen, I can't talk about it all right now. But things are really bad. Things were going so great earlier, then it all went to hell and I just don't want this mess to have ruined the one thing that would actually make me happy," he ranted. "I fucking _love_ you, Teddy. But you don't even want me."

"Of course I want you!" Teddy said, surprised.

"Funny way of showing it," he muttered. "You keep trying to find excuses to stop."

"They're not 'excuses', James, it's all real. It's just…it's not a good time. I want your first time to be special."

The sincerity in the other's voice made him laugh and shake his head, both touched and irritated by his words. "I don't have enough _girl_ in me to say something corny like 'It'll be special as long as I'm with you', with a straight face," James laughed. "I want to forget about everything that's happened. But more than that, I just want this, Ted. I have needs, you know? I've wanted this for _months_, but I've been stuck at school trying to wait it out to see you and I don't want to wait anymore. C'mon, Ted."

Reaching up he grabbed Teddy's hand from his face, moving it to press against hardness, which hadn't completely gone soft even with the aggravation the other wizard had inspired. "I want it," James murmured as Teddy groaned, pressing his lips against his forehead. Black eyes closed softly at the feel of those warm lips against his skin, opening only a few seconds later so that he could read down to slide his hand into the waistband of Teddy's pajama bottoms. "And you seem to want it, too," he said, rubbing his hand slowly up and down the very interested cock he found there.

"Fuck, James," Teddy whispered, rolling over onto the smaller wizard, leaning down to kiss him eagerly. "You just don't give up, do you?"

"Never," James breathed, heart quickening, smile threatening to break over his face at his apparent victory.

Anyone could have guessed what a gentle lover Teddy Lupin would be, particularly when it came to the taking of someone's virginity. Some bitter voice in the back of his head wondered if this was the way Victoire liked being touched, finding he couldn't bear the images his imagination conjured for him of his beautiful blond cousin writhing in pleasure beneath the man he loved. James squeezed his eyes shut tightly while Teddy pepped soft kisses to his lips, all over his face, down his neck, while holding him close, rubbing his gifted hands up and down his back in a manner more soothing than arousing. He needed more. He needed Teddy to drive away the unbidden thoughts that were plaguing his mind. The more he tried not to think about his parents or Victoire, the clearer they became to his mind. James twisted anxiously beneath Teddy, shoving his arms between their bodies to grab the hem of his shirt to begin tugging it up.

"Impatient much?" Teddy teased against his mouth, that charming smile on his lips that made James want to pull away and pause just to get a better look at it.

"For you, yes," he said, grateful that Teddy moved enough to allow James to pull the shirt over his head and toss it aside before grabbing Teddy's to begin its removal. To his credit, Teddy didn't try to stop or slow him, only moving obediently when and where James needed him to. As he began pulling down his trousers, he barely noticed the way his leg pressed between Teddy's until he heard the sharp intake of breath above him. Grinning, he shoved Teddy up to his knees before following suit, pushing one hand into his pajama bottoms while he struggled valiantly to remove the blasted things one handed. Multi-tasking was not his strong suit, so pulling at Teddy's pajamas suffered while he worked his best to stroke Teddy's hardness. He loved the way Teddy grasped his hips tightly, panting and groaning at the pleasured feelings James was giving him.

"You're gonna have to help me if you want to get anywhere," James finally said after a minute, chuckling breathlessly as he shoved one side of the pants off of his hips, having to reach around awkwardly to the other side to shove them down another inch or two.

"Oh, right," Teddy laughed, shakily moving his hands from James's body to pull at his own clothing, underwear and nightwear, in one swift tug, down to his knees then shifting carefully to pull them off the rest of the way while James focused on moving with him, still moving his hand in firm, quick strokes over his length. When the offending clothing were tossed aside, Teddy grabbed his hand to still him.

James's heart jumped then dropped fearfully, glancing up at Teddy. He wasn't changing his mind, was he? How awful did you have to be at a hand job for your partner to have time to think of another reason you shouldn't be doing this? The older wizard grasped his face securely in both hands, staring him square in the eyes with his blue-violet eyes. "I love you, James. I really do."

He grinned then laughed shakily. "I know. I love you, too."

"Good," Teddy said, then kissed him more fiercely than he had just minutes ago, made of more want than fear and more love than thought. James groaned, gladly throwing his arms around Teddy's neck while he was guided onto his back.

When Teddy pulled away, James licked his lips and watched as he leaned across the bed to fumble around in the drawer of the side table, pulling out a tube of lubricant. It was surprising, but oh so lucky that they had some nearby. "Fuck," Teddy muttered. "I don't have condoms. Vic takes a birth control potion."

"Don't worry. It's…" James began, but stopped. Male pregnancy wasn't very common, was it? While not impossible, it was a bit harder for men to get pregnant than women. Though most of the rarity was because homosexuality had always been such a taboo thing and only in the past couple of decades started to, slowly, become more acceptable. Part of him wanted to groan in frustration, but he wasn't giving up so easily. "You can just pull out, can't you?"

"Oh, yeah…Right. I can," Teddy said, nodding his head then shifting back over to James. "No matter what you may think," he said, pausing to kiss him again, "I have wanted this for a long time."

"Best get on with it, then," James whispered, kissing his lover again deeply as he shifted onto his side. He really loved kissing Teddy and was reluctant to pull away, but grinned when he finally had the power to do so then rolled onto his stomach before pushing himself onto his hands and knees.

The preparation wasn't bad. Teddy took his time admiring James's backside, running his hands over the full cheeks of his arse and giving a good squeeze. He moaned loudly when Teddy pressed the first finger into him, the first time anyone else had touched him there. Ever since he discovered his sexuality and did his research on it, James had been playing with himself there, fingering at first then moving on to inappropriate uses for his wand and, finally, working his way up to a dildo. He was glad he had done all of that practice on his own as he remembered how painful it had been the first time he started fingering himself. The experience had bothered him so much that he waited several months before he dared try it again. With Teddy, he was able to relax, to enjoy the feel of someone else's fingers pressing into him, filling him, exploring him. The new experience was enough for him not to be quite so keen on hurrying his lover, though they had both been sure that going into this James would demand to be fucked before his body was fully prepared for it.

"A…are you ready?" Teddy asked, gently scissoring the fingers buried in his lover.

"Uhh…I think so. Yeah. I am," James said.

"Thank God," Teddy said, relieved, as he crawled over the smaller boy, guiding his aching cock to his well stretched opening. He was breathing deeply as he kissed the back of James's neck. "Wasn't sure how much longer I could wait."

This confession both amused him and made pride swell in his chest. "And here I thought I was the im….ahhhh!"

Teddy pressed into him so abruptly it was at first surprising then painful. James's fingers clenched at the sheets as the head popped through the guarding muscles. It burned more than anything, really. It only really hurt because of how sudden and shocking it was. He felt himself clenching almost painfully, though he coaxed his body into relaxing again.

"Sorry…sorry," Teddy panted. "Fuck. You alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, go on. Don't stop," James said, squeezing his eyes shut as he carefully bumped his hips back. Teddy was bigger than fingers or dildos, but not unbearably so. He could do this. He _wanted_ this. Finally! A smile curled on his lips at the reminder of how many nights he had dreamed of this, how badly he had wanted this for so long, and it was finally happening.

Unfortunately, Teddy resumed his extremely cautious behavior from earlier, appearing reluctant to move at all at first. Then, slowly, he began to push forward. A little bit at a time, he would push in then pull back out carefully before feeding James more of his cock. God, it was frustrating! For the first little while, it was comforting until he was grew accustomed to it and ready to get on with it! Now and then he tried to push himself back, but Teddy would gasp sharply, hold his hips still, then jerk his own back to keep James from getting what he wanted.

"Careful," Teddy said the fourth time.

"For the love of God, Lupin, if you don't fuck me I am going to tie you to this bed and fuck myself on you whether you like it or not!" James growled.

"Fuck," Teddy groaned, tightening his hold on James's hips, head dropping down onto his back. "God, you feel good."

"Then fuck me!"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm _fine_! Or I would be if you would do something. I'm dying here."

"Fine, fine…but if you end up getting injured, it's your own fault."

James snorted. "Doubt you could do that if you tried."

With his plea, he had been hoping for immediate results. He wanted the experience he saw in all of those magazines that had taught him everything he knew! Being fucked into the mattress was one of his favorite fantasies. But Teddy didn't start drilling into him, though there was some improvement in the way he carefully pushed himself into James completely.

"Oh wow," James breathed, wrapping his arms around his pillow and holding it tightly. That was so full, somewhat uncomfortable, but pleasant. "That's nice."

"Very nice," Teddy agreed quietly. He stayed still for a moment, and in that moment, James didn't mind at all. It was an interesting feeling to get used to so he shifted his hips against Teddy, causing the other's breath to hitch or moan while he nuzzled the side of James's neck. Then, before James had to demand he get on with it, he finally started moving. It was still gentler than his wildest fantasies but not so careful that he might as well have been dealing with something more delicate than a Potter.

It lasted longer than James expected, but he wouldn't complain. The first few minutes were interesting. He lay there, experiencing it all, able to concentrate on the erotic feeling of his lover sliding in and out of his body. The feel of hands running all along his stomach and chest before resting on the mattress on either side of him, the warmth that surrounded him from his lover's body, the breath warming his skin, tender kisses applies to his neck and his shoulders, basking in the quiet moans that escaped Teddy's throat. Then, one of his lover's hands moved to slide up his thigh, massaging the area closest to his hardness before finally grasping it to stroke along to his thrusts. It was a bit harder to focus after that as his hips bucked up into the wonderful feeling of that seemingly expert hand pleasuring him.

What really destroyed his ability to think was the moment Teddy's cock brushed against his prostate. The noise that he let loose was somewhere between a startled yelp and a strangled moan. "Fuck, Ted…More…Please…Again!" James begged, eagerly pressing back, wanting that feeling again.

"Yes," Teddy groaned, picking up the pace slightly, aiming for it again. It wasn't a perfect target, but he managed to brush against the area enough times to keep James thoroughly distracted from anything else that might have happened. There was no room for thought, no room to savor anything. All he wanted was this feeling, forever. This was better than flying. Nothing had ever made him felt this good or this alive. A constant stream of moans, groans, pleas, and praise escaped his throat without his even being aware of the fact. It didn't matter. This was brilliant! Why had he waited so long?

"Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

It ended too soon. He felt the warmth building in him. There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in that place forever. So close, riding that high, but never having to give up this wonderful pleasure. He didn't even have the chance to make it last. His orgasm stumbled upon him too quickly, body seizing up before he even realized it was there and it was happening. A loud cry sounded as he clutched at his pillow, heat spreading through every inch of him. When it ended he collapsed onto his front, eyes closed, gasping for air while Teddy tumbled after him, groaning loudly into James's ear as he emptied himself inside of him.

When Teddy finished, he wrapped James tightly in his arms, rolling them onto their sides. It was such a nice, comfortable feeling that he had no problem falling back into dreamland. The last lazy thought occurring to him before he succumbed to his slumber being that Teddy had forgotten to pull out.

But he would worry about that later.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I was actually really happy with the chapter right up until the end, so I hope y'all liked it better than I did! Lol!

Per usual I have to give a big thanks to my lovely reviewers: ieatmyfeelings, Tokugawa Blitzer, AlmondWithUnicornHair, dogsby, Sydney-Jo, Hedwig-hoots, waiting4amanwithabox, veronik, YetAnotherJanewayFan, niceladysakura, Petuniac3, Victoiree, xXxElectraxXx, Belladonna1185, Rori Potter, The Potters of the Future, Nightshade's sydneylover150, and French Pixie! I really appreciate y'all taking the time to leave me comments, and I do love seeing them! I hope you continue to and that anyone reading the story will!

An even bigger thanks to the people who helped me with this chapter: my beta Dani for fixing it up for me and my buddy Tokugawa Blitzer for reading it for me and giving me her thoughts! It does help the process so she really did a lot in giving me the boost I needed to finish the chapter! And I know how much of a chore it is to read my work, so I am grateful for her taking the time to sit through it ;) lmao!

Anywho, can't promise a fast update but I'm sure as heck going to try! This and Resistance are my joys in life, so while I might not have a lot of time, I do love them and will do as much as I can with them! If you want a better idea of when to expect updates feel free to like me on FB!

Oh and I almost forgot! The chapter title comes from lyrics from the song "Original Sin" by Pandora's box.

_"I've been looking for the ultimate crime_  
_ Infinite victims, infinitesimal time_  
_ And I'm so very guilty for no reason or rhyme_  
_ So now I'm just looking_  
_ And killing some time_  
_ Endlessly searching for the ultimate crime"_


	4. When the Lips Never Moved

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter Four: **_**When the Lips Never Moved**_

* * *

In warm, strong arms, he felt more at peace than he had in a very long time. It was a wonderful way for Harry to wake up so he smiled in appreciation as he nuzzled into the chest that acted as his pillow. Strangely old fingers brushed through his hair, tracing the lightning bolt scar, trailing down the side of his face, thumb ghosting across his slightly parted lips. Unable to help himself, he gave it a soft kiss, tip of his tongue peaking from his mouth to taste it. Hearing the sharp intake of breath, he smiled lazily then allowed himself to blink up at the face hovering over his.

Perhaps it was his still half asleep state that attributed to his thoughtless actions. Maybe it was the look of reverence softening normally hard black eyes. Snape was always so intense, his expression either ice cold or as heated as the flames that always filled his fireplace. This warmth, though, was so rare that his heart broke upon seeing it. This had to be his lucky day. Without so much as a second thought, he pressed himself up to kiss those thin lips that had been tempting for far too long.

The stiffening of Snape's body showed his surprise, but melted quickly as the man eagerly kissed him back. The older wizard rolled them over so that Harry was on his back while he was pressed on top of him. Harry slid his arms around Snape loosely, just lying back to sleepily enjoy Snape's enthusiastic work. The arms around him squeezed him tighter, hands grasping at his back, fingers spread wide to hold as much of him as possible. Feeling the man's morning erection pressing into his stomach, he hummed quietly with a small smile, opening his mouth against the coaxing of Snape's tongue, groaning at the feel of it sweeping through his mouth. His fingers slowly stroked through the man's greasy hair, curling the strands around his fingers, not even bothering to keep up with the heated kiss, letting Snape take what he wanted from him.

It was all so nice. So much different than with Ginny. Nothing against his wife, or anything. She was pretty. He liked her soft, curly red hair, full lips, even her toned body with its slight feminine curves. Plenty of blokes at Hogwarts had wanted her, for good reason. There was nothing wrong with her. Her kissing was just fine, she could get him off. But something was missing there. A familiar rotten feeling deep in his gut made him frown as he slowly roused enough to think properly. It wasn't fair to Ginny. She couldn't be held accountable for anything. He was the one who had fucked up. Was currently fucking up again, he thought, as his cock responded to the thrusting of Snape's hips against his own, moaning low in his throat. At the sound, Snape's lips moved from his down to his neck, sucking hard at the juncture where it met his shoulder. It was nearly enough to make Harry lose his train of thought, though he rallied and managed to unwind his arms from Snape, yanking his body to the side to escape him.

"Snape, stop," Harry said, voice not nearly as angry or commanding as it should have been.

The man's lips stilled. For a long moment he just stayed where he was, struggling to breathe deeply and evenly against his skin. Just when Harry was about to stay something, Snape pulled his arms from under him then punched the mattress on either side of him angrily. Then he pushed himself up, glowering at Harry who glanced away guiltily.

"Sorry," he muttered, clearing his throat. "Why am I here? We didn't…?"

Snape snorted. "You're still clothed. I've seen no evidence of foul play. Suffice to say, your arse is safe."

"Oh. Thanks," he said, scratching his head. He didn't remember much about last night after arriving here, just the drinking. "Not that I'm complaining, but why do I feel so…good?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Considering recent activities…"

Harry's face heated. "No, not that," he said quickly. "I mean…Shouldn't I be wishing for death right about now? How much did we drink?"

"I have no more alcohol in my house," Snape said dryly. "You awoke around two, complaining of a massive migraine so I fetched a hangover potion. You passed promptly out afterwards."

"Oh. I don't remember that," he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "Why are we in bed together?"

An ugly flush colored Snape's cheeks, eyes twitching as though wanting to look away, though he didn't. "Contrary to popular belief, I do not know everything," the man dismissed irritably. "While I didn't drink nearly as much as you, because, honestly, who would? It was still a substantial amount. We likely were not thinking properly when we retired to bed."

"It's a wonder we thought enough to make it to the bed at all," Harry muttered, unable to look at Snape any longer. Judging by the man's reaction, he assumed he was lying and had purposefully put Harry in bed with him. His body _felt_ fine, so maybe they hadn't shagged. If they had, he would still be feeling it, wouldn't he? Besides, Snape was no rapist. He might push more than Harry was happy with, but he wouldn't do anything while he was drunk or unconscious. If it wasn't sex, then what was it? Was it just because he was close to him? The very thought made him feel foolish. That was far too romantic and sweet for the man.

Even if it had to be true.

"I should probably shower," Harry muttered. _A cold shower_.

Snape nodded slowly, still looking agitated. "Breakfast?"

"Please."

Before he could say anything else, Snape slid out of bed, swept out of the room, and slammed the door. Harry sighed heavily, sadly staring at the door for a while before finally gathering the courage to get up to go shower.

A little over a half hour later, he emerged, dressed in the clothes he had worn the night before, as he hadn't brought a change. Breakfast wasn't done yet, nor did it look close to being so. Harry figured Snape must have taken a good deal of time to cool himself down before allowing himself near sharp objects. By the smell of it, coffee was done, sausages were cooking, something was in the oven, and the man was currently cracking eggs then emptying them into a small pan. Snape didn't glance up, or otherwise acknowledge his presence, but Harry knew he was aware of him.

Now that he was more awake, he felt awful for what had occurred in the bedroom. Kissing Snape was amazing. He had nearly forgotten just what he had been missing. But it was a betrayal to Ginny, had hurt Snape, and wasn't doing him much good. Their affair was what had gotten him into this whole mess to start with. Hadn't he stated the night before that he wasn't giving up on his marriage? Leading Snape on was the last thing he should be doing. Hadn't he hurt the man enough was it was? Harry hated himself for it. Two of the most important people in his life were his wife and the man before him. And he hurt them by using the other. He never had it in his heart to let one of them go. Neither of them seemed to have it in theirs to let him go either.

"_I love you,"_ Harry wanted to say. "Smells good," he muttered instead.

Snape said nothing. Maybe he _should_ have professed his love. Surely, that would have earned him a reaction. It would be a dirty trick. He felt bad enough as it was. "Need any help?"

"I have never been in need of your assistance, Potter," Snape said coldly.

"Of course not. Doesn't mean you don't want it," Harry said, approaching him cautiously. Black eyes narrowed at him, but the man said nothing and continued his cooking. Without another word, Harry went to the refrigerator, pleased, but not surprised, to find plenty of fruit. Snape always did enjoy a bit of fruit with every meal and snacking on them in between. On the bottom shelf there was a wide variety of fruit as well as several small cups of yogurt. Seeing them jarred a memory from long ago that involved food play on the kitchen floor.

The night of Albus's conception, to be exact. It was only two months after James's birth. Things between Snape and himself had been slightly better. Ginny had been furious with the renewal of their friendship, leading to a spectacular fight and Harry coming here. Snape welcomed him in only to have Harry fly past into the kitchen. Snape had watched on in amusement as Harry raided his cabinets, finally sitting on the floor to check the ones down below for alcohol. The older wizard finally came forth with a bottle of wine and two glasses, claiming that he was all out of the good stuff.

Several hours later they were drunk on wine, laughing. It was strange to see Snape laugh. Nice, but so very strange. Harry went on and on about Snape's supreme gayness then, opening the fridge, falling onto his back in the process, before pointing to the shelf of fruit then making many a ridiculous joke about fruitiness that had him cracking up so much his ribs ached. Snape grinned, letting out a small laugh now and then.

"…I mean, look at all these bananas! There's nothing gayer than a banana. I bet you practice fal…fe…fol? F…fuh?"

"Fellatio?"

"Yeah! That on them. Don't you?"

A raised eyebrow. "Do you think I need practice in that area, Mr. Potter?"

"Mmm," Harry said, licking his lips. "If you need to, I have something better than a banana."

"Do you now?" Black eyes glittering in amusement as he reached into the fridge.

"You are!" Harry laughed, trying, and failing, to sit up while jabbing his finger into the fridge. "Look at all of this! God, I'm drunk. What is in that wine? What are you doing?"

Snape shoved up his shirt, dumping the contents of one of his yogurt cups onto Harry's stomach. "Ack!" he yelped at the freezing cold sensation on his warm skin. Green eyes struggled to look down at his body, trying to make sense of what was happening. Were they having a food fight? Or was it sex? Was he going to use the yogurt as lube? Was that safe? Snape sat back a moment, eyes never moving from him as he took another sip of his wine then reached in to grab one of the bananas. When he set the glass down, he began to peel it, making Harry swallow hard as he watched.

The man spent several minutes spreading the yogurt everywhere with the banana, taking extra care to circle his nipples with it, causing them to harden in the coldness, before dipping the tip of the fruit into his bellybutton then placing it deep into his mouth. "Oh fuck," Harry groaned, watching his mouth close around it. His cock began to twitch in interest at the display Snape was giving him. Really, doing that to a banana should be illegal! He didn't tease him with the fruit as much as anyone else might have, but he sure took his time before slowly biting into it, chewing it just as carefully. Though Harry really didn't want him doing _that_ to his dick, it was still sexy as hell.

"Y…You've made a mess of me," Harry stuttered.

"I often do," Snape said seductively, running what was left of his banana through the yogurt that covered Harry's chest and stomach. Slow, deliberate circles, brushing over his erect nipples, then coming to rest near his collarbone while Snape leaned over him to pull his shirt the rest of the way off. Harry lay compliantly on the floor, not saying anything as he let the man continue his work. He was too fascinated, drunk, and horny to interrupt. Grabbing the banana, Snape slid it along his dry collarbone then up his neck, over his chin, and up to trace his lips. "Open," he whispered. So Harry did, parting his lips enough for Snape to push the remainder of the banana inside. It was sloppy. The piece was still a bit big even though Snape had easily eaten half or more earlier. His fingers remained pressed against Harry's mouth while he chewed, his own dipping down to slide his tongue along the trail he had made from his neck upwards, cleaning off the yogurt he wished to while leaving the rest of his chest cool and sticky.

He was still chewing by the time Snape reached his mouth, which caused the man to glare halfheartedly at him. Sensing he must have ruined the moment by not eating fast enough, he tried to swallow what he could, though it was hard as he was also laughing, struggling not to choke on bits of banana. "Kindly don't die now, Potter," Snape said, sitting up on his knees, eying his shirt distastefully. Apparently, he hadn't been too careful, as it now shined in the light of the refrigerator, reflecting the gooey yogurt that had attached itself when he had been hovering over Harry. This caused the younger wizard to laugh more, having to slam his hand over his mouth to keep banana from spewing out, trying hard to finish swallowing the thing so that the risk of dying was lowered drastically.

"My intention was to get you drunk so that you would more easily succumb to my seductions. I can see now that it was a very bad idea," Snape muttered, unbuttoning his shirt with more ease than Harry found believable. After all, Harry remembered how difficult undressing his older lover had been. "This would have been better sober."

"That's because you're only supposed to get your…person drunk. You're not supposed to get drunk _with_ them," Harry snorted. He wondered if he should be bothered by Snape's confession that he was trying to have sex with him but, instead, he found that his partially erect prick hardening further at the thought of shagging Snape.

"I do not get drunk," Snape muttered, though Harry didn't think he believed it. While the man was hardly slurring his words, they did come with less grace than usual while his movement was sloppier than normal. Compared to the average man, he was still functioning perfectly. Considering who this was, he might as well be falling all over himself. "If I was, however, it would be the perfect excuse as to how I could not have taken advantage of you."

"Mmm, right," Harry said, distracted as Snape slid off his shirt. Pale flesh was marred by too many scars. The most prominent being the large burn scar along the left side of his body from. cursed fire Snape had explained before. It had been a bit less powerful than Fiendfyre, called hellfire, nearly the same shade of green as the _Avada Kedavra _curse. He remembered Snape telling him the story of his early days among the Death Eaters, how the higher ranking purebloods liked to use him as target practice before learning just how valuable he was to the Dark Lord with his natural talents as well as information about a great many people Voldemort hoped to lure to his side.

By most standards, Snape was no attractive man and these scars would have almost anyone cringing in both sympathy and disgust. Instead, he reached out to tenderly trace along them while Snape watched with hooded eyes. "More wine?" the man asked, looking caught between pulling away from the touch and leaning into it.

Harry chuckled. "I'm not sobering up, I promise."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I wasn't aware you had asked one."

The man glowered at him. "Would you care for more wine, Potter?"

"Ah. I shouldn't," Harry said.

"But?"

"One more glass won't hurt."

Snape poured two more glasses while Harry sat up. Harry downed his quickly, his lover only taking a few small sips before he was done. A full glass was set down beside an empty one for Snape to put both hands to good use, grasping Harry's face, kissing him fiercely. Any objections had been slaughtered by his alcohol intake. Ginny and James be damned. There was nothing on earth that made him feel the way Snape did, so why not take it? Harry clung to the man as best he could, though Snape had a firm grip on his hips, keeping their skin from meeting the way Harry was aching to. He nearly forgot about the mess of the yogurt still left on his body.

"Bed," he gasped, pulling away from the kiss, body twisting in his eagerness to be thoroughly shagged.

"Not yet, I'm afraid," Snape murmured huskily. "I haven't finished cleaning you yet."

Harry made to object, trying to move closer, but Snape placed a hand around his neck. The pressure wasn't enough to hurt or deprive him of oxygen, but just enough to push him onto his back. Snape took his sweet time straddling Harry's legs while digging into the fridge, producing grapes to dip into the yogurt before popping them into his mouth. It was never just a small swipe to gather the yogurt, instead slowly swirling the fruit all around Harry's chest, even placing two on his nipples and one in his bellybutton where they remained until the older man was ready to be rid of them. In the end, Snape finished by licking off the excess stripes of yogurt before sucking the grapes out of his bellybutton and off of his nipples.

They never did make it to bed. Playing with the fruit had been torment enough for Harry who, immediately, ripped off his trousers the moment Snape was off of him, ready to attack the man next. They rushed through everything after that, on the floor in front of the open fridge, all sloppy kisses and desperate thrusting leading to the most intense orgasm Harry could remember having. When they were done, they held each other close, both knowing what it was like to be without each other and savoring every moment they had left together. And, when they had rested enough, Snape fed Harry yogurt through his laughter. They fell asleep in the very spot they made love, which made for a very uncomfortable morning. But, when he woke, it was to a nice hangover potion, a glass of orange juice, sliced apples, and more yogurt.

Just looking at that shelf caused a very strange feeling in his stomach, discomfort as well as the stirrings of arousal. Harry cleared his throat as he stepped away from the fridge. "You…ah…never did teach me how to make banana bread," he muttered in response to the odd look Snape shot him.

The man smirked. "That was three years ago."

"Yes, well, you still haven't after three years," he said with as much humor as he could, wishing he didn't sound so breathless or dazed.

"I hardly think that's a good idea, Potter," Snape said, setting the pan aside before slowly approaching him. Harry pressed his back into the fridge while Snape stopped not even an inch away from him. "I would do nothing more than use this lesson as an excuse to touch you…be near you…seduce you. There is only one way such a session could end."

"Erm…Nice, warm banana bread?" Harry whispered.

Snape snorted. "No, you bent prettily over my counter taking it up the arse."

"I…That can't," Harry whispered, eyes drawn to Snape's mouth, a shiver trailing through his body at the erotic imagery coming to mind.

"I could always summon my special made lubricant from the bedroom," Snape murmured huskily. "Or we could make awful use of the butter. It might not work as well, but it would go nicely with the rest of the scene, don't you agree?"

Harry swallowed hard then laughed nervously. "Aha…erm…sounds messy."

"It always is. But always well worth it. I'd be sure to bathe you thoroughly afterwards."

"Fucking hell, Snape," Harry muttered as the man leaned in closer. "Your eggs are going to burn."

"I turned off the stove when I saw you bending over in front of my refrigerator, gaping at my fruit selection," Snape assured him. "If I recall, we made special use of my yogurt, as well."

"Yeah…was really fucking cold," Harry muttered, arse cheeks clenching at the pleasant memory of slick, cold fingers sliding inside of him.

"At least I licked it clean afterwards."

"All purpose yogurt," Harry snorted, shaking his head as he slid to the side, trying to escape the man. Black eyes followed him exasperatedly. "And _come_."

"I was drunk."

"That's not what you said."

"My state of sobriety versus drunkenness was not the topic of discussion, Harry."

"Please, stop."

"Stop what? I'm merely making conversation," Snape replied, brushing past Harry to tend to his eggs. He appeared frustrated. Likely it with himself for putting it all out there as well as with Harry for continuously turning him down. Harry shook his head, trying to clear his mind. The nearness of his lover, the sound of that silky voice, all of the fond memories of hours spend making love were enough to test his willpower tremendously. He didn't want to deny himself, or Snape, and was finding it increasingly difficult to remember why he was doing so in the first place.

"What do you want me to do?" Harry asked. "For breakfast?"

"Perhaps inform your wife that one should knock before entering an individual's household," Snape said, glaring across the room. Harry spun around in a panic, seeing nothing at first. Then Ginny walked into the kitchen doorway, Lily standing half behind her.

"Why should I respect the home of a man who can't respect my marriage?" Ginny asked coolly. "Come along, Harry. We're taking you home."

"Potter is a grown man. He hardly needs his mummy to bring him home," Snape said sarcastically.

"Stay out of it," Ginny snapped. "Harry?"

"Errr," Harry said, glancing uneasily between his wife and his lover. They were too busy glowering at one another to pay him any notice. It was mildly annoying that Ginny popped up to basically inform him that he was not only welcome home, but she was dragging him there. Considering everything, he wanted to tell her to shove off, that he already had plans for breakfast and that he'd see her home later. He wasn't necessarily happy with Snape, either. Sometimes he couldn't blame the man for pushing the way he did but, at the moment, he was tired of feeling so pressured all of the time. Snape could help make his life a lot easier by not making himself so goddamn tempting.

One look at his daughter and any resolve he had to snap at them both dissipated. She was thirteen years old, but could have been so much younger with that lost, saddened look on her beautiful face. This situation was just as hard on her as it was everyone else. Maybe she was Ginny's daughter, but her whole family was caught up in this whole mess. She learned more about her family than she probably ever wanted to know. There was no way to tell what on earth was going through her mind about this whole thing, but it probably wasn't good. Harry frowned. Unlike her brothers, she seemed more hurt than angry. He had the overwhelming urge to take her into his arms, soothe away all of the pain then protect her from all of the pain and drama that was sure to follow this revelation was unbearable. Regardless of what point he wanted to prove to his wife, he wouldn't do it at the expense of his daughter.

"You and Lily are more than welcome to stay for breakfast," Snape said.

"I don't think so. We're going to have a family brunch this morning," Ginny informed him. "Harry?"

"I…Right. Erm…Sorry, Snape. Maybe some other time?"

"Of course," Snape said sourly. The man looked livid, close to spouting off a vehement tirade aimed to deliver as many furious insults to Harry and Ginny as possible. One look at Lily, though, and his lips pressed together in a thin, pale line as he returned to roughly finishing his breakfast.

"Uhh…Bye then. And…thanks. For everything."

"Anytime, Mr. Potter."

Ginny looked as though she was just as prepared for verbal warfare, eyes flashing angrily when the man spoke. Like her ex-professor, though, she seemed to remember the company they were in and bit her tongue. Glancing uncomfortably at Snape, Harry wanted to go to him, to hold him, kiss him, promise to return, assure him that he loved him but that this was for the best, and many other unwelcome comforts or excuses. For a moment, he stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to do, before finally stepping forward with a wave to the man. Ginny turned to follow him out.

"I…Bye, Snape," Lily said, still lingering in the doorframe. Harry stopped, heart panicking in his chest as he turned to look at his daughter. "See you this weekend, yeah?"

Ginny stopped as well upon hearing this, spinning around, mouth open to refuse, but Harry reached out a hand to grasp her arm. She tugged away from him, but remained silent.

After a pause, Snape replied, "As always, dear Lily."

"Ah…Good, then. Umm…Are you feeling better?"

"…Quite."

"Good. That's…that's very good. Well…I um…do you…? Well…What I mean is…I should go so…I'll see you later, then."

"Farewell, Miss Potter."

Harry could only gape at her as she turned around and quickly headed for the door. Her head was bowed in embarrassment, face flaming, brown eyes wide, slender body tense. What the bloody hell had that been? Harry was sure she wouldn't talk to him or Snape anytime soon, the way her brothers were sure to play things. But she seemed to be going out of her way to be as polite as ever to Snape. But why? After everything she had learned, he wouldn't blame her for being upset.

He'd figure it out before long. He would have to have a talk with all of his children about this, eventually.

* * *

It was too early to be awake, so James kept his eyes closed. There was something awful about that area between sleep and wakefulness that irritated him to no end. He wanted to go back to sleep properly! After yesterday, he was much too tired to really get up and face the day. Admittedly, there was also a bit of reluctance to open his eyes to the world because that meant having to deal with everything he had learned. Besides, this wasn't so bad, lying in bed in Teddy's arms. If he had his way, they'd never leave this. Teddy was so warm and comfortable. Once he stopped being such a perfect pillow and James was more energized, he'd be perfectly useful for something else as well! His arse was a bit sore after last night, so the thought of shagging again was a bit painful. But, maybe, Teddy would let him be on top! If not, that was fine. James was just ready to get back to it, even if he did hurt!

"Teddy? You awake?"

Oh shite! Victoire. James opened his eyes just slightly enough to peer at the gorgeous blond standing in the doorway. She didn't seem all that surprised or upset to see her boyfriend in bed with her cousin. It took James a moment to realize he was wearing pajama bottoms and that Teddy was, as well. When had _that_ happened? The thought made him a bit grumpy so he shifted around in bed irritably while Teddy carefully maneuvered out from under him to sit up, face bright red as he faced his girlfriend. "Er…yes, dear?"

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to work," she whispered with a small smile. "How is he?"

"He…um…oh, right. Well…he's been sleeping. Well, he woke once really upset which is why I came in here," Teddy explained hurriedly. "Didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh, no, honey, that's fine. Jamie needed you," Victoire assured him. "It's really sweet of you, actually. He's more than welcome to stay here as long as he needs, alright? Try to get him to talk when he wakes, too. It was really bad yesterday."

"I know," Teddy frowned. "I'll see what I can do. Have a good day at work."

"I will," Victoire smiled. "Love you."

"You, too, babe."

He waited until the door was closed, then waited some more. Waking up when he was annoyed over Victoire's presence, nervous about how seemingly perfect she was, and upset over Teddy returning her _'love'_. It was a few minutes later, when Teddy was snuggling close to him, nose nuzzling into his hair then inhaling deeply, when James felt more secure in his place in Teddy's arms and heart that he let his black eyes flicker open, feigning sleepiness that had long since disappeared.

"Mmm. Morning, love," Teddy murmured, kissing his forehead.

"Morning," James replied quietly, tilting his head to the side to kiss Teddy's throat. "Mmm…Vic?"

"Just left for work," Teddy sighed.

James grinned. "So…"

"So?" Teddy repeated with a smirk.

"She's gone. We can make the most of our morning," James said.

"And how do you expect to do that?"

"To start? Getting you naked. When did we end up _clothed_ anyway?"

"Not long after you fell asleep, lazy arse," Teddy teased. "I figured it was safe just in case Vic walked in at any point."

"Hmm. True. But she's not here now," he said, tugging at the waistband of Teddy's bottoms.

"James?" called a voice from nearby. "James!"

"Oh _fuck_! What the hell is she doing here?" he hissed, scooting away from Teddy while his lover jumped right out of bed, then stumbled across the room.

"Teddy?" called Ginny Potter.

"Tell her I'm not here!" James hissed.

"What's going on?" Teddy demanded, alarmed.

"He's probably still sleeping, Mum!" Lily's voice said. "You know how lazy he is."

"Told you," Teddy mouthed with a smile. James might have returned it if he wasn't so busy freaking out over his mother and sister turning up.

"Don't they know how to wait for someone to let them in? It's rather polite, that way," James muttered, sliding out of bed then finding his shirt.

"They know they're always welcome here. Just like you," Teddy said quietly.

"You don't have to defend them," James snapped.

Teddy blinked in surprise. "Sorry?"

"Whatever, Ted," James grumbled.

There was a pounding on the door. "James? You awake?"

"Hold on, Ginny! We're getting dressed!" Teddy called out.

"_What the fuck are you doing_?" James hissed.

"Oh, alright. We'll be waiting in the living room," Ginny replied, then walked away.

James gaped at the door as Teddy walked over to him holding his shirt, helping him back into it. "We're both boys, you know," he said quietly, the shaking in his arms, showing how nervous he was. "We grew up together. She doesn't know you're gay. We've gotten dressed in the same room before so she probably thought nothing of it."

"Oh, right," James said, breathing a sigh of relief. His heart rate began to slow down to normal as he tugged the ends of his shirt around him, making sure it was on correctly. He hadn't even considered that. Even he and Teddy lounging in bed in nothing but their bottoms together would be nothing new to Ginny or Lily. Heck, even Victoire might not even blink at it. She didn't seem to think much of Teddy and James snuggling when she walked in earlier. James laughed in relief as well as at the stupidity of everyone else. Things would be alright after all. At least for Teddy and himself.

"Good?" Teddy asked.

"As I'll ever be," James agreed, rubbing his hands down the sides of his legs. Teddy nodded then led the way out of the guest bedroom. The relief that their secret remaining safe made it hard for him to be too annoyed by the fact that Ginny, Lily, _and Harry_ were sitting on the couch. His parents sat stiffly and awkwardly on either side of his sister, who was fidgeting, looking all around the room, trying to pretend that there was nothing strange happening.

"What do you want?" James sighed, plopping down in a chair. Teddy sat on the arm of the chair, the only available space left.

"For you to come home," Ginny replied. "We're having a family brunch."

"Are you?" James asked, flicking an invisible piece of lint from his knee. "I figured Dad would be too busy making something with Snape."

Feeling Teddy tense up beside him, he glanced up in time to see him mouthing something ending with "-_ows?_" at Harry. Seeing his father nod, James glanced back to Teddy who was looking pointedly at to his left, making it hard for him to read his face. Something cold dropped into his stomach, spreading it's iciness through his chest, all the way down to his toes and up to his head. Something wasn't quite right with _that_.

"They were about to make breakfast, but your father chose to come home with us instead," Ginny said firmly.

"Mum bought all sorts of stuff to make," Lily chattered. "Eggs, sausage, bacon, scones, fruit, tea, juice…You name it, I'm sure she bought it! Oh, and Nana sent a raspberry cake with blueberry frosting with strawberries and cherries all over the top! Then Aunt Audrey sent some sort of brownies made of white and milk chocolate with raspberry and blackberry swirl all in it! They're both wonderful! Mum and I think they're having a baking competition again. Lucy and Molly are _so_ lucky! Don't tell Nana, but I think Aunt Audrey's was actually better this go-round. But you'll see for yourself when we get home!"

"I'm not going home," James said absently, still looking from Harry to Teddy. The back of Teddy's neck was red while Harry was doing his best to avoid eye contact with everyone. Slowly, James began shaking his head, laughing. "Don't tell me you _know_ Ted."

There was silence. James jumped to his feet, glaring accusingly at his lover. "You _know_?"

"I've always known," Teddy said quietly. "I lived with them when I was five until I was nine because Grandmother was very ill. I was seven when he was pregnant. I knew something was going on, they had to tell me. They made me swear not to tell. Don't be mad, I honestly haven't thought of it in years. It just…it never crosses my mind."

"You _made him_ promise not to tell?" James snapped. "It's one thing to keep this sort of thing from the world, from your own children. That's awful enough. But…I can't believe it! You forced a seven year old to keeping your secret, too?"

"It's not like that! We didn't _force_ him into anything!" Ginny exclaimed. "We only explained that it would be best if no one else knew. We wouldn't have done anything if he had…said anything. We only hoped he wouldn't. We couldn't hide it from him, but…You don't know what it was like, James."

"Damn right, I don't!" he snapped, pacing the floor in front of the chair. While he would, later on, find cause to be irritated with Teddy for not telling him, right now, he could only think of it as just one more sin of his parents. One more thing to hate them for. "I'm never coming home. You need to leave."

"James, you are still sixteen years old. You are still our child. And you _will_ come home as you were told," Harry said sternly.

"You can't make me!" James snapped.

"I get that you're upset, but you are acting very immature right now. You are still a minor and, as such, you _will_ do as you are told. I'm not going to let you run around doing whatever you want because you're upset with me. I'm still your father…"

"You are _not_! You're not my father. Because I sure as hell do not want to be your son!" James snapped.

Lily gasped. Ginny closed her eyes, bowing her head, rubbing her temples with her fingers. Teddy groaned as he stood up, approaching James cautiously from behind. Harry faltered, blinking in surprise, pain seeping deeper into his green eyes. James gasped, feeling the hurt slam into his chest, that awful plague of guilt filling his stomach until he felt sick. He did his best to remain standing tall, holding his ground, glancing away only briefly but meeting his father's eyes bravely. While he was mad, he didn't _really_ mean it. The fact that it seemed to hurt Harry so much bothered him. But it also allowed for some small feeling of satisfaction to settle.

"If you do not come willingly," Harry went on, voice hard, cracking midway through. "Then I will call the Auror station and have them escort you home. Do I make myself clear?"

James gritted his teeth, but the action didn't hold half of the fury he had been possessed of just minutes ago. It was hard to feel as angry as he deserved to be when he felt so rotten about what he had done. Unwilling to give up the fight, though, he glared, saluting his father, grumbling out a sarcastic, "Yes, sir."

Harry nodded then stood up to head to the fireplace. Ginny trailed after him while Lily sat on the couch, staring in horror at James. Unable to stand it, he made a rude face at her so that she blinked then glared. The heat in her brown eyes held nothing but contempt as he jumped up then followed her parents into the Floo.

There was a hand on his arm, offering a squeeze. "I'm so sorry. At least try to get through the day with them. You know you're always welcome back here, if you need me. Us."

Us? Teddy and Victoire, of course. More hurt than annoyed, James yanked his arm away then marched towards the fireplace. "Right. Thanks," he spat as he grabbed the Floo powder, catching only a glimpse of Teddy's confused face before he was taken away.

* * *

Upon waking, Albus and Rose dove right into the same conversations they had before fallen asleep during the night before: schoolwork, eagerness to see how they had done on their OWLs, and boys.

"They may be a bit odd, but the Scamander twins are _very_ good looking," Rose confessed, face burning red. Her irritation with Lorcan and Lysander's strangeness echoed her own mother's thoughts of Luna in her youth.

"They aren't that strange," Albus said. "I can see the appeal in Lysander."

"Why not both? Aren't they twins?" Rose teased.

"Yes," Albus grinned. "But they're not identical. They _resemble_ each other a great deal. But Lorcan's more athletic so has a bigger build. I dunno, maybe it's because I know Lysander better, I guess. But I've always thought of him more than his brother."

"This may sound bad but have you…have you ever thought of them as a…in a threesome or something?" Rose asked, face burning even redder.

"Rose Eleanor Weasley, I can't believe you!" Albus laughed.

"I didn't say I did! Only asked if _you_ had."

"No, I haven't. Have you?"

"Once. Okay? Once!"

"Right," Albus said, still grinning. "Not a bad thought, though. Thanks for that."

"Gross. You're welcome."

"What about Malfoy? You're awfully chummy with him."

"We've never done anything."

"Have you tried?"

"No!"

"Has he?"

"No. Strangely enough."

"Have you thought about it?"

Rose was quiet for a minute then sighed. "Okay, yes. But even you have to admit he's very fit!"

"I don't have to admit anything," Albus said, shaking his head. "He's a prick."

"He has one, yes, so I thought you might like him."

"_Rose_!"

"Sorry, sorry. But he's honestly not bad. And he _is_ good looking."

"Well, I _have_ seen worse."

"Oh goodness. Next thing we know you'll be proposing marriage to him!"

"…This is the last time I tell you anything."

The two friends laughed before spending a few minutes more drooling over their new Ancient Runes teacher, Professor Smythe. They then snuggled closer to look through one of the magazines they had nicked from Hugo's room the day before. Only a few minutes were dedicated to ogling the various Quidditch players before there was a knock on the door. "Rose!" came Hermione's voice. "I need you to clean the kitchen, please!"

Rose sighed heavily. "Yes, Mum!" she called, reluctantly handing the magazine to Albus. He closed it then followed her out of bed. "You don't have to help, you know," she giggled. "You can keep reading…I mean gawking."

"As if you weren't," Albus said. Despite everyone assuring him that, as a guest, he wasn't expected to do anything, he still felt bad not helping out. When Rose opened the door, Hermione was standing in the hallway, arguing with Hugo about why he had to clear up the attic.

"Albus!" Hermione said as he began to head downstairs with Rose. "I was actually wondering if you mind helping me organize my library? I allowed access to some of my colleagues during a meeting last week and none of them seem to know how to put things where they _belong_."

Albus cringed sympathetically. "Sure thing." He hated when people visited the library in his own house then put things back where they didn't belong or just left them lying about. There was nothing to think twice about as he followed his aunt into the library. It wasn't until she closed, locked, and Silenced the room that he realized what was going on. She wanted to talk to him. He was pretty sure he knew what it was about. The realization left him momentarily paralyzed as he struggled to make a decision about what to do. He was trapped here! He had no choice but to hear her out. It wasn't as though he'd have much of a choice with his parents for much longer, either.

"Err…Where to start?" he asked nervously.

"Over here," she said, motioning for him to follow her to a nearby bookshelf. The books here were so wildly out of order, some even shoved in backwards or upside down, that Albus could conclude that nothing more had happened than Hermione sweeping through here, purposefully rearranging the entire bookshelf for this excuse to work. This job was so awful that it couldn't have been done by just laziness and carelessness. This had motive to it. He made no comment on it, only helping Hermione remove books then placed them on a nearby table. When the shelves were empty, they sat down then began to stack the books in alphabetical order, aiming to get that done before shelving to make the process easier.

Hermione finally spoke after a few minutes of silent organization. "Your mother wants you and your brother home for brunch."

"She does?" Albus asked carefully.

"Mhm. She firecalled this morning. She's off to collect your father and James before she comes here," she explained.

"Oh," Albus said.

A few minutes later, Hermione continued. "They love you, you know?"

"Guilt trips and manipulations should only be employed by parents, you know," Albus muttered. Then, realizing how rude that sounded, frowned. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Hermione said. "I only thought it might be easier to hear the truth from someone else."

"So you know?"

"Yes," she said. "We've always known. Me, Ron, Luna, Rolf, Neville and Hannah. We were all very good friends. Your dad needed the support group. I warned him it would come out, but he didn't listen. You Potters are stubborn, you know?"

Albus snorted. "Yeah, I know."

"Good," Hermione said. "Now, I'm not going to defend what they did. But I'm not going to stand for badmouthing them, either. I only want to tell you the truth."

"The truth? Novel concept," Albus said, moving half of his pile to the side in order to place _Anwen's Secrets to Surviving Arachnophobia _on top of _Apples to Oranges: How to Make Differences Work Without Getting Yourself Arrested_, then placing the other seven books back on top of it.

"I'm sure you think so," Hermione smiled wryly. "The whole thing is rather complicated. I'm not sure even I know all of it. But the fact is that Harry only kept this a secret because it was what Severus wanted. I don't think he took it seriously until Severus made himself very clear. It hurt your father to know that he wanted to keep it all hidden. He felt like he wasn't important enough to Snape, that James wasn't important enough to him for him to come out of hiding. So, he went along with it, did a lot of very nasty things to spite him, and tangled himself so much in this situation that there was no getting out of it. Ginny went along with it because it was what your father wanted. What Harry wanted.

"To them, it was easier passing James off as Ginny's child. For Harry, it meant a way to preserve his marriage to Ginny as well as having this picture perfect family he had been deprived of as a child, and had always craved. Normalcy is something that has always been important to him. Face it, a life with Severus, being a pregnant male, none of the life he could have had with Snape was normal. So while he l…loved Severus, wanted to be with him, he also didn't fight too hard against the idea and for good reason.

"Ginny, bless her heart, loves Harry and always has. He was willing to stay with her, raise a family, and she was willing to do it. For him. I think she believed that it was the end of his relationship with Severus. That it was something he needed to get out of his system and was done with. It was easy to forgive Harry for his wrongdoings when he was so apologetic, so sincere. He said he loved her, and she believed him. I believe him. But that's something I'll discuss later. The thing was that, at the time, Ginny thought it was something they could work through. She loved him too much to abandon him when he needed her the most, and she saw that, while things were hard, they would get better, so why throw away the things that mattered to her the most when she knew in her heart that things would change.

"She was wrong on that count, obviously. But she was so convinced that it would be different. It was worth it to her, you know? She just…loved him. So much. Always has, always will, and that was her downfall."

"As for Severus… His reasons for keeping things quiet are a bit more convoluted. Did he want to keep the truth of his survival secret? Yes. Did coming out as the father of Harry Potter's child make that impossible? Yes. Was that the only reason he wanted to keep it hidden? No. There are many reasons he was so adamant about keeping this a secret. The most obvious reasons are his selfish ones. He'll never let anyone believe anything else. Severus likes his life, didn't want to change anything.

"But it was more than that. He would never just give up on his child for those reasons alone, no matter what he'd have you believe. Severus Snape is a very secretive man, very closed off, hard to get through to, complicated…so many things. It's challenging trying to understand him and his motives."

"Then how do you seem to know so much about them?" Albus asked curiously.

Hermione smiled. "While he would rather die than admit it, we've become very good friends."

That did make sense. Sometimes, over the years, Ron, Hermione, Rose, and Hugo would visit Snape with them. Sometimes even the Scamanders and Longbottoms would as well. He never thought much about it, but Hermione was one of the few people Snape seemed truly comfortable around, someone he talked to a lot and it made sense. They were both highly intelligent people. Albus, himself, loved talking to both of them, admired their talents and their minds. He never thought they communicated outside of those meetings for them to be so close but, out of everyone he knew, Hermione getting on with Snape that well made perfect sense.

"Severus, much like Harry, never really knew what it was like to have a real family. It's one of many things they bonded over. I won't get into the details because it's not my story to tell, but his parents were not the best. While the lack of parental figures encouraged Harry to be a good parent, Severus was never so optimistic. He had never liked children while teaching, didn't think he could handle having his own. The prospects of how he would be as a father were not very promising with the only role models he had. To him, it was better for you and James to grow up with Harry and Ginny. They could give you a good life. Never knowing that Severus was your father meant that you would never know what it was like to have a parent that couldn't be good enough for you. Couldn't care for you, he might have thought to start with. He knows himself well, though he would never be a good enough parent to you. You both deserved so much better, in his mind.

"He does love you, though. Throughout Harry's pregnancy, I think he doubted it was possible. It tormented him. I saw that. He never knew what things would be like. But, the first time he ever held James it was evident. That alone probably reinforced all of his ideas that he had to step aside, let Harry and Ginny take their roles, and be there for you the only way he thought he could. As your godfather. No matter how much he loves you, he could never be the type of parent that Harry or Ginny are. Not necessarily bad, but different. I think you know that. Parenthood is awkward to him. He doesn't know quite how to fill the role of father.

"Maybe that's not a good enough excuse to you. Personally, I've tried many times to convince him otherwise, but he's always stood firm in his decision. It was probably easier to hold onto the secret the longer they kept it. Life was easier this way, at least in their minds. Even now, it's so hard to explain it properly. I'm not them. I only base all of this off of my own observations and what they've all spoken to me of. It might not make sense why they did it. None of their reasons are good enough. They should never have lied to you, or the rest of the family. It isn't good for any of you. But, while they made a mistake, it doesn't change the fact that they love you. All of them. They all love you so much. What they did was wrong. They know that. But please, Albus, give them a chance. Hear them out. They only want what's best for you, whether or not their ideas align with everyone else's."

"Seems to me they were more worried about themselves," Albus said quietly, brows furrowed as he thought of everything his aunt had told him.

Hermione smiled sadly. "I know. I'm not saying they had no selfish motivations at all. Honestly, those selfish thoughts probably created the ones that made them see this as the best option for you. No one said they were the smartest people in the world. Will you at least think about it, Albus? Regardless of what they've done, they are your family."

Albus said nothing for a few minutes, letting it all sink in as he shoved _Do It Yourself Household Charms_ under _Creative Curses: 178 Horrifyingly Hilarious Tales of Spells Gone Wrong_. Their supposed reasons for keeping the secret just made him feel all the worse. Ginny wanted to keep her husband, Harry and Snape wanted to keep their respective lives, and so on. Any other reason sounded more like an excuse. He was still upset that they had lied to him, though most of the hurt he had clung to disappeared when James found out and exploded. It was hard to know what he really felt about all of it. He had no idea what to even do about it. But he did care about them. Even Snape.

Finally, Albus let his head fall back, sighing heavily as he stared up at the ceiling. Then, sitting up straight to look at Hermione's expectant look, said, "I'll try. I promise."

"Good. Thank you for listening to me," she said with a smile. "And, thank you for your help. But, I'm sure your parents will be coming to get you any minute now, if you want to go on and wait for them."

He might have actually preferred staying to help Hermione finish. There were so many books here. Several of the titles had caught his eye or reminded him of books he already owned and wanted to reread. Everything she had told him had also given him so much more to think about and he didn't want to face them until he understood himself better. But, remembering his promise to give them a chance, Albus nodded and stood up. He hesitated before leaving, then walked around the table to give her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek that she smiled at then returned.

* * *

It was the most elaborate meal Ginny had prepared in years. Every breakfast food they could think of and then some was spread all across the table. It really was a shame that no one seemed to be in a good enough mood to enjoy it. Harry sat at the head of the table, per usual, while Ginny made the point of sitting on one side of the table next to Albus instead. Lily made sure to sit close to her father, even dragging her chair closer to him while glaring at James. who ignored her, scooting his own chair a few inches away, as well. Only Albus took his usual seat, uncomfortable with the tension, looking very much as though he wished to say something, but was trying hard to hold it back.

They all filled their plates and began eating in silence. James seemed determined to ignore everyone, immediately shoving food into his mouth, not stopping, as though he hoped to be done and out of there as soon as possible. Ginny seemed determined to play this as cool as possible, not starting a scene, but also making it very clear that things were far from being okay. Lily seemed hesitant, starting to look more like Albus, as though she were bursting to say something. Both looked as though they actually had something on their minds. Harry wanted to speak, but his problem was not having any ideas as to what to go through with. So he just ate, feeling very much like an unwelcome guest in his own home. There was no one to blame but himself. He was the one who had allowed this to happen. He was ashamed of himself. He hated himself. What if they couldn't fix things? What if his children hated him forever? What if Ginny left? What if Snape became fed up and decided he wanted nothing more to do with him? Harry was very well aware that. by the end of this, he could end up with nothing at all. That idea made him sick to his stomach.

"Daddy?" Lily said timidly after several moments.

Everyone stopped eating, turning to face her. She blushed, but kept her eyes on her father.

"Erm…Yes, Lil?"

"I was wondering if you and mum had ever thought to…to go see Marietta?" she asked.

Harry quirked an eyebrow then shared a confused look with his wife. "Um…We saw Dudley and Marietta about a month ago. Why?"

"No, I mean…Well…Maybe we could go see them? Before term starts back?" she suggested.

"We normally do. Would you like to go soon?" Harry asked uncertainly. The kids never really liked visiting their Dursley relatives. Ever since the war ended, though, Harry tried to keep in good terms with his cousin. They weren't exactly close, but they got on well enough now. Funny how they had always hated magic then Dudley ended up marrying a witch! Ginny had never been happy with the arrangement, as she had never quite forgiven Marietta for blabbing about the D.A. their fifth year, but Harry had managed to do so. She was a very nice woman these days. She and Dudley seemed to have brought out the best in each other. Their kids, Daisy and Douglas, had. Unfortunately, turned out a bit rotten, but Lily and Daisy started getting along when the latter started Hogwarts while Lily was in her second year. They still annoyed each other sometimes, but that was only natural. While they didn't hate each other, it was still a rare day when Lily wanted to go over there.

"Erm…Yeah. Sooner the better, maybe. And we can all talk to Marietta," Lily said anxiously.

"Uhh…Sure," Harry said, still confused. Ginny appeared thoughtful, but Albus was the one to understand his sister first.

"I think she's referring to the fact that Marietta is a therapist, Dad," Albus said quietly.

"Oh," Harry said surprised. After Hogwarts, Marietta had gotten degrees in both magical and Muggle psychology. Nowadays, she ran a very nice business in the Muggle world, treating anyone who came her way. Harry had seen her, off and on. for a bit after the war, trying to recover, but never really stuck with it. She always wanted him to relive things, to talk about things he didn't want to get into, things that were better left in the past.

"Like…There's couple's therapy and family therapy so…Maybe you and Mum could talk to her, then all of us…Then James by himself, since he's such a prat."

"Lily," Ginny said warningly.

"Shut up, Lil," James snapped.

"James. Stop it," Harry said.

"Yes, _Father_," James muttered sarcastically.

Ginny's mouth twisted, eyes narrowed furiously at her son. Her hands gripped her fork tightly. She looked ready to slam her fists into the table, to snap at him, but Harry reached out to touch her hand, to calm her down. She spun around, glaring at him now as she pulled her arm away. He quickly pulled back, partly concerned about her and partly hurt by her reaction. That was to be expected, though. Ginny was mad. The kids were all upset with _both_ of them, which wasn't fair, as none of this was her fault.

"_I_ love you, Daddy," Lily said.

"Suck up," James said.

"At least she's not being an arse," Albus said quietly.

"What did you just say?" James demanded.

"Albus, you know how I feel about that language," Ginny scolded.

"James, seriously, you need to calm down," Albus said.

"Why is it that everyone else is so okay with this?" James demanded, slamming his fork down as he stood up. "It's not okay!"

"No. it's not. But neither is you acting like a prat to everyone," Albus said.

"Stop fighting," Harry said. "James, sit down."

"No. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm fine when I'm not," James said, shaking his head. "This is so fucked up! Don't you see that?"

"I know it's hard," Harry said. "But you need to…"

"Stop telling me what I need to do! Fuck!"

"James!" Ginny hissed.

"Great. Just great. _He's_ the lying cheater yet I'm the one everyone's upset with. That makes _perfect_ sense!" James retorted sarcastically.

"No one's upset with you," Harry said.

"I am," Lily piped up.

"Not now, Lil," Albus whispered.

"Doesn't matter. I already know!" James began raking his fingers through his wild hair. Seeing how upset he was, the pain in his eyes as well as that rage, familiar black eyes brimming with unfamiliar tears, made Harry's heart ache. Never in his life had he regretted the decision to keep his secret as much as he did now. The life his children had would have been so different. It wouldn't have been the best life, but none of them would be dealing with this now. Harry set down his own fork and began rubbing his temples. James was right. This really was messed up. "I can't be here. I _can't_. I need to go."

"Then go to your room," Ginny snapped.

"No. I can't. I'm leaving. I can't be here."

"James, do _not_…"

"Just let him go," Harry said in quiet defeat.

That was all James needed to spin on his heel and head towards the nearest Floo.

"Harry!" Ginny exclaimed. "You can't just let him run off every time he's upset."

"Good riddance. He's a prat," Lily said, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"No, Mum's right," Albus said. "He's never going to deal with it if we just let him do whatever he wants."

"We'll get him tomorrow. Just let him cool down," Harry said, shoving his plate away.

"And you? Do you need to go cool down?" Ginny asked coldly.

He cringed. Was he going to run off to Snape's, in other words? It was tempting. Right now, it was hard to want to stay here. Ginny was so upset with him, James was furious, he wasn't sure what to make of Albus, and only Lily seemed alright with things, which surprised him. To think he could have enjoyed a nice breakfast with Snape. Maybe he could have found a reason to find himself in Snape's arms again. Perhaps he'd let Snape kiss him again.

Bad thoughts. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Not with his wife in the room. Not around the kids.

"I'm staying right here," Harry assured her. "I have to go into work for a few hours around two, but I'll be here."

The look in Ginny's eyes was more triumphant than glad, her lips stubbornly pressed into that unhappy line. She deserved to hate him, more than anyone else. It didn't stop him wishing he could make her smile, make her stop treating him this way. The guilt was becoming more than he could bear.

"I'll owl Marietta, I think," Harry sighed as he got to his feet.

"Sooner the better," Ginny said, agreeing with her daughter's earlier sentiments.

"Maybe we can all play Quidditch later?" Lily asked hopefully.

Harry and Ginny looked from their daughter to each other. A family day? Without James and after all of this? It was hard to deny her, but it was also going to be a hassle trying to get into it.

"Sounds fun!" said Albus, who hated flying.

"You all better go get ready then," said Harry as he headed to his office. It wouldn't take long to write and send the letter, but he'd be sure to take his time with it. He was going to need to be strong for his children, put on a smile for their sake, even as he wanted nothing more than to run back to Snape. That feeling only intensified as he considered that, maybe, the only way to fix this problem was to cut ties with the man altogether.

The very thought of it hurt far more than he could bear.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hope you all enjoyed! Big thanks to my reviewers: Tokugawa Blitzer, Alex, Sydney-Jo, Ellaurora, JaneAlpha, ieatmyfeelings, Rori Potter, YetAnotherJanewayFan, da-blk-saiyangirl, French Pixie, xXxElectraxXx, Leviosa Hex, yaoilover6969, KT13, Geimini Peverell! Love feedback and it was very encouraging and I hope you continue to do so and that anyone who hasn't reviewed will! Makes me a happy author ^_^

Also big thanks to Dani, my amazingful beta, and my bud Tokugawa Blitzer for giving it a read through when I need her to!

Chapter title from the quote, "It was the eyes. The secret of love was in the eyes. The way one person looked at another, the way the eyes communicated and spoke when the lips never moved" from _Flowers in the Attic_ by V.C. Andrews.

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	5. This Life of Solitude

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter Five: **_**This Life of Solitude**_

* * *

They always visited on the same day at the same time, bright and early, disturbing the peace he so enjoyed. However, he wasn't surprised when noon rolled around without word from any of them. What did surprise him was the ache of loneliness that accompanied the realization.

It had been a long time since the last time this had happened. The few meetings they had missed in between had always had sent a letter in their place, with apologies, explanations, and promises to visit as soon as possible. He had always rolled his eyes at their need to reassure him, but denied to himself the comfort it brought.

Severus Snape had spent much of his life alone, relying only on himself. Of course, it would be Harry bloody Potter to destroy his routines, defenses, and his appreciation of solitude. Those were things, of course, better left unsaid, buried so deeply into the recesses of his mind that he never once dwelled on them.

Or, rather, dwelled on them often.

Despite knowing they would not come, he found his gaze straying to the clock on multiple occasions. At times, he felt his heart skip a beat when he heard a car slow down outside of his home only for it to sink when it didn't turn into his driveway. The third time this happened, he had been in his kitchen putting together a simple sandwich for his lunch. A knife had been in hand slicing up a juicy tomato. His hand squeezing the weapon tightly in anticipation, he listened closely, though it was hard to hear anything over the thudding of his pulse that was loud in his ears. When seconds of silence ticked by, once he was certain that they had not arrived, he clenched his teeth and fists then slamming the latter down hard onto the counter.

Only fools let their hearts rule them. It was a pathetically Gryffindor quality that did not suit the Slytherin in the least. It was all Potter's fault. Potter, who had wormed his way into his life and his heart. _Potter_, who let this secret out. Harry bloody Potter who had been ruining his life since their first meeting and destroying his soul since rescuing him in that shack. The way his entire being craved the younger wizard, how consumed he was by the savior, the excruciating pain that shook his very core because of his sadistic lover never became old. After all of this time, he had no hopes of these despicable feelings dimming at all. It was the sort of obsession that one never got used to. Even now, he was amazed that such fury and agony of this level could still possess him after all he had been through because of that brat, after the countless times Potter had caused these very feelings in him. Every ounce of his being loathed the man just as passionately as he loved him on days like these.

If there were a way to break this godforsaken curse the Potter brat had placed on him, he'd have freed himself when he first accepted the truth that he would never have what he wanted.

Harry was not the only one he missed. When _Jim_ first left for Hogwarts he noticed this now familiar ache and hollowness left by his missing son during these meetings. As annoying as the children were, he did love them. Even Lily, despite the fact that she was not of his flesh and blood, meant the world to him. The young red haired child was a part of Harry, and, really, that's all it took. It took time, of course, but the first time she smiled at him with a grin that mirrored her father's so perfectly was enough to steal his heart. Or what was left of it.

Shaking his head, Severus decided he was no longer hungry. Stabbing the knife into the unfinished sandwich, he shoved the plate aside then turned to his alcohol cabinet. He paused with his hand hovering near an unopened bottle of firewhiskey. Was he truly so pathetic that he would have to drink his sorrows away because of one missed visit? He could read a book, work on his latest potions, or invite Egan Duff over for a bit of distraction. It had been a while since he had last spoken to Draco, Neville, or Hermione. One of them would surely be up for a visit if it was company he was craving. Merlin knew Hermione needed an intelligent mind to converse with, as she spent most days in the company of the dunderhead she called a husband. Anything would be better than letting Harry have this sort of power over him. It was foolish, would only serve to wound his pride further, and would result in absolutely nothing getting accomplished that day. Didn't he have more pressing matters to worry about than a Potter? Or Potters, as the case may be. He believed he was on the verge of a breakthrough in discovering a cure for the supposed incurable dragon fever. Hundreds of lives could be saved. Didn't that mean more than moping over something so frivolous?

His fingertips brushed the bottle, his resolve nearly failing him, but he gathered his strength to move away from temptation. There was work to be done, he reminded himself. It was really a blessing in disguise that they hadn't come.

Deep in the basement, Severus pulled out his books and notes, leaving them open on one table while gathering his ingredients on the other. A Summoning spell brought one of five cauldrons to him so that he could remove the stasis charm to continue his work. Currently, the potion was a deep blue color that looked promising. Nodding in approval, he turned to his ingredients table, plucking up a phial of rancid lobalug venom. _This_ would need to be dealt with care. By the time the potion was ready, bubbling and shooting out sparks of deep purple, he had pulled on his dragon-hide gloves, slowly uncorking the phial, holding it over the cauldron. The dark green venom was thick, leaking slowly out of the phial. By the time it was empty his arm was sore from holding it still for so long. The empty phial was then, magically, sent across the room, locked inside a dark yellow wastebasket with red skull and crossbones. He would have to take that out later to destroy the contents. Many things within his laboratory, be it ingredients or failed potions, could be highly dangerous and would need to be disposed of in a special manner. Lobalug venom was at the top of that list. It was too dangerous to even keep in his stores for too long. Had he saved it for a week longer, it could have had disastrous results.

The dark blue lightened a few shades, the purple sparks were replaced by green-gray smoke, and the scent of rust becoming the nearly unbearable scent of vomit and hippogriff manure. He was used to unpleasant smells from his work, but this made even him wrinkle his nose in disgust, swallowing back the bile rising in his throat as he turned to gather his dragon parts, still mulling over the order in which to add them. The scales of a Romanian Longhorn, fangs of the Peruvian Vipertooth, horns of the Hebridean Black, and a jar of eyes of various dragon breeds, though he would today need those of an Antipodean Opaleye. Maybe one or two of a Chinese Fireball if need be, though he doubted it would call for it. Picking up a horn, he frowned, twisting it around in his hands. It was going to take a powerful tool to saw this down into the dust he needed. The solution he had soaked it in had done little to weaken the form.

"Merlin and Morgana, what are you doing down there?" shouted a familiar female voice. Severus breathed in sharply, eyes darting to the basement door which luckily remained shut. "It reeks, whatever it is!"

Lily Luna Potter. His hands shook as he set down the horn, quickly recasting the stasis spell over the cauldron. So, they had come after all. The way his pulse sped up excitedly was embarrassing, though he was determined not to let any of his ridiculous feelings show. Hopefully, no one had spotted the sandwich he had stabbed in the kitchen.

"I don't brew to satisfy your sense of smell, Lily," Severus remarked, using a few flicks of his wand to put his cauldron back in place with the others, though he left everything else as it was. He could return here later and none of the ingredients he had out were as volatile as the lobalug venom had been. Refusing to rush upstairs like some overeager child, he forced himself to take his time walking up, though the journey seemed to take him an eternity.

"Well, you should!" Lily giggled. "Do you think you could make me some perfume? Is it that different from potion making? Though I suppose you're so used to making things that make people gag…"

"I have never attempted the creation of _perfume_, nor do I have any desire to do so," Severus muttered as he finally opened the door. Only Lily had come to greet him, it seemed. He had to admit that, while he was grateful for it, he was surprised by the warmth she had been showing him since the revelation.

"If I asked nicely would you try? My birthday's soon, you know!" she said, jumping up as she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "No one wanted to come today, so I made Teddy bring me. Is that alright?"

So no one else was here? All of that relief and happiness suddenly dimmed dramatically. While he had been striving to keep all emotion from his features, he had a feeling Lily noticed the difference because her arms loosened somewhat around him, the smile on her face faltering.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"None of this is your fault," Severus snorted. "Unfortunately, parents make more mistakes than they care to confess to."

"Guess so," Lily said miserably.

"Err…Is this alright?" asked another voice.

Severus looked up, surprised to see Teddy Lupin standing there timidly. When Lily mentioned that Teddy had brought her, he assumed the young man had left. It had been a while since Teddy had last visited him. The last time had probably been the Potters' last visit before the children returned to school last summer. He had a life, like most people, and only Harry really seemed determined to visit him once a week. Severus could hardly begrudge him that. As the young man was Harry's godson, an honorary member of the Potter family, Severus had seen a lot of him during his childhood. Not as much as James, Albus, and Lily, but still more than most of his visitors. His intelligence, easygoing nature, and friendliness all reminded him of the boy's father, though Severus had more fondness for Ted Lupin than he ever did the werewolf.

"I was anticipating the disturbance to my solitude as is the weekly tradition of your godfather," Severus replied smoothly. "You might as well make use of it. I would hardly be so accommodating any other day."

"Of course not," Teddy said with a strained smile. "Only Lily really wanted to see you, so I decided it might be worth it even if you were in a cranky mood."

Severus raised his eyebrow here. It was almost disturbing how he seemed to have lost his edge. The ex-students who knew he was alive had become used to his snarky comments while their progeny had grown up around him that way. Ted Lupin and the Potter children seemed more immune to his words than anyone else, as they had been exposed to him more than anyone else. It almost made him long for the days of being Hogwarts most feared, hated, and intimidating professor. By now he was used to it, but at the oddest times it just struck him how strange this all was.

"Why in the world did you want to visit me so much?" he inquired of the young girl as he led them into the living room. "Don't you have a better way to waste your day?"

Lily glanced uncertainly to Teddy who gave her an encouraging nod. "I just…Well…We come here every week. Sometimes more. So you know you wouldn't have been mad if we showed up any other time," she added with a laugh. "But…umm…Well, I just…You're still my godfather, you know?"

Yes, Severus was very well aware. He had been reluctant to agree to being godfather to the offspring of the man he loved and his _wife_. Severus had been very bitter all through Ginevra's pregnancy, despising them both so much for reproducing. Potter belonged to _him_, whether anyone else knew it or not. All of Harry's children should have been _his_. Having a child with that devil-woman only further cemented the Golden Couple's marriage, assuring him that there was truly no hope of ever truly having Harry.

Only once did he ever confess to these feelings, and it was towards the end of Ginevra's pregnancy. Severus had been brooding, unable to use even potion-making to distract himself, when Harry arrived alone wearing a forced smile.

"Ginny's having her baby shower and Fleur kicked me out," Harry laughed nervously. "Mind if I come in?"

"Is Ronald not available for you to bother?" Severus asked grumpily, a hand on the door and the other on the doorframe, blocking Harry's way into his house. Though he did notice, rather miserably, his grip on the door loosened when the man asked entrance to his home.

"Don't be like this, Severus," Harry sighed.

"Like what?" Severus growled through clenched teeth.

"What is your problem lately? You've been nastier than usual."

"Go away, Potter."

Severus slammed the door in his face, locking it. As he walked away, he was surprised to hear the door slam open, turning in time to see Harry stride in with his wand, magically repairing the damage he caused to the doorframe with a spell.

"What have I _told you_ about using magic here?" Severus growled.

"You use it all the time," Harry muttered. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Whatever's wrong with you! Between Ginny's mood swings and your problems, it's driving me bloody insane! If I didn't know better, I'd think _you_ were pregnant."

Severus's eye twitched. "Leave."

"Did I do something?" Harry asked. "Because I don't know what the bloody hell it is if I did. You've been a complete arse for…for months now!"

The older wizard laughed bitterly. "And you don't even know why? After all this time?"

Harry's eyebrows scrunched together. "No. I can't read your mind, Snape."

"If you weren't so clueless perhaps you would have seen the signs," Severus spat. "If you had more than half a brain in your thick skull you could probably pinpoint the very moment _this_ began. Perhaps realizing that the moment your 'good news' was announced that I was not nearly as _glad_ for the happy couple as everyone other imbecile."

His lover appeared momentarily confused before his eyes widened in realization. "Oh."

"Oh," Severus snorted. "_Oh_! It's amazing how you survive at all with such a low skills in perception. You don't notice things around you. Even if you weren't aware of this spectacular timing, then it should have at least been clear that I would _not_ enjoy learning that the man I'm in love with is having a child with someone else!"

Harry cringed, cleared his throat, then shook his head. "You…Ginny and I are married. You know we have sex…and…you had to have known we'd have kids. Ginny comes from a big family, so she wanted…"

"She has _Jim_ and Albus, does she not? Raising _my sons_," he spat.

"And whose choice was that?" Harry snapped.

"There was _never_ a choice, Potter! I cannot raise children. But that doesn't mean I wanted _my children_ to be passed off as the sons of that gold-digging whore!"

"Do _not_ talk about her that way! She's been nothing but good to your ungrateful arse!"

"Good?" Severus hissed. "She took you away from me!"

"She didn't take anything from you. I…I went to her. What sort of life could we have had together, Snape?" Harry demanded, a familiar pain filling his green eyes. It made Severus want to punch him hard enough to break something then kiss it all better.

Instead he turned away. "Get _out_."

"I can't."

Severus turned to glare at him at the same moment Harry grabbed his arm to turn him around. The way those emerald orbs pleaded with him was almost enough to melt his resolve. While one side of him weakened, another stood taller, determined not to be brought down by this young man. He had survived too much in life, suffered too much to go through this all over again. Losing Lily had nearly been the death of him, yet, here he was, allowing himself to be dragged along by her foolish son. The man was too proud to let himself be used this way. What he should have done the moment he realized this was never going to work was walk away. But here he was, always open whenever Potter needed him then waiting for him to return.

Harry would really have a family with Ginevra now. This was the time to walk away, clinging to what remained of his heart and his pride. But Potter's hands grabbed his face, forcing him to meet his eyes. When his own hands came up to grasp Potter's shoulders, he found it impossible to shove him away.

"I love you," the boy swore, the truth of his words reflected in his determined gaze, etched deeply into each syllable he spoke. "I hate hurting you. God, I'm so fucking stupid. I hate this. But I love you too much to stop. I _can't_ let you go, please understand. I _need_ you. I love you so much, you have to believe me. Please don't make me go."

If he had his way, Harry would never leave. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them back. He had confessed more than enough for one day, had he not? Instead, he pulled Harry closer, kissing him deeply. As Severus touched him, undressed him, then finally bent him over the back of the couch, Harry never once stopped him. Sometimes he was sure it was out of guilt, as only weeks before he had sworn they could never resume their affair. The reasons didn't matter. He wasn't a foolish man. Whatever was offered, he would take and treasure every moment of it. Severus has luxuriated in taking Harry, whispering the love he hated to admit into his ear, feeling his heart swell with every promise of that love being returned.

The time Lily was born, the hatred had only lessened somewhat.

The first time Severus laid eyes on her, he wanted to snatch her from Ginevra's arms to throw her into the nearest wall. Loving her was a gradual thing, but it came more naturally than he cared for.

Now, sitting across from her in his living room, it was hard to remember a time when he hated her so. Especially now that she was the only person seeking him out, the only one who seemed to want his company. The only one who didn't despise him. Her bright brown eyes were filled to the brim with sadness and concern, the wringing of her hands attesting to her nervousness. Teddy sat stiffly beside her, looking all over the room but never directly at one of them.

The silence was awkward, though Severus did his best to not let his own discomfort show. His show of calmness succeeded in making the others relax somewhat.

"So," Teddy said, flushing as he broke the silence. "What potion are you working on now?"

"Several," Severus replied dryly. "Though the elixir I was tending to when you arrived is a possible cure for dragon fever."

"Oh," Teddy said with a smile. "That sounds…great. How far along are you?"

"This is my fifth attempt," Severus replied. "I have reason to believe it will be the right one. All that is left is a few touch ups on the notes. I'm three quarters of the way through brewing it now. I believe that by tomorrow we will be able to start testing."

"How do you test potions anyway?" Lily asked. "You don't use animals or people do you?"

"There was a time when such a thing was necessary," Severus replied. "There were spells invented in the past century that would tell whether a potion would have the desired effect, but they were never accurate enough. You had a general idea of whether it would be dangerous for human consumption, but the true results were never known until humans actually consumed the product. In recent years, however, Mr. Longbottom has developed a plant known as the _lectum heros_. All it requires is the DNA of a particular species, then fed the potion, and it will replicate the effects of it. Sometimes it's been known to even help with spells. When creating a cure for an illness, however, it requires the DNA of a person with said illness. Has he mentioned anything of the sort in his classes?"

"Not really," Lily said with a frown. "He doesn't brag much, though. Once, Hugo mentioned something he had been in the _Prophet_ for. I think it was a plant, but I really don't know. Anyway, he mentioned it and Professor Longbottom refused to talk about it! Got all embarrassed and stuff, really. Kinda' like Daddy, right? How Daddy doesn't like talking about all of the good he did. I dunno why. Jamie brags all the time, even when he does little stuff. Well, he used to. He's not _as_ much of a prat as he used to be."

Severus snorted. He knew well of his son's antics. As much as he loved him, it was hard to not want to strangle him when he waltzed around superiorly, mentioning things such as how great of a cook he was when he finally learned how to make a casserole without burning it. Even now he still had a rather big head about things, though Lily was correct in her observation that he was not quite as arrogant as he had been when he was younger. "He is much like his namesake in that regard."

Lily's face scrunched up in confusion. "His _what_?"

He struggled not to roll his eyes, hoping no one noticed the twitch he felt in his cheek and his brows.

"Err, namesake, Lil," Teddy explained quickly before Severus had to. Smart of him. Despite how much he did like Lily, he still had little patience for ignorance. "It means someone another person was named for. Like how James was named after your grandfather, you were named after your grandmother, Al was named for Headmaster Dumbledore, I was named for my grandfather, and so on."

"Oooh, okay! Oh, that's right. You knew my granddad, didn't you? You didn't like him very much," Lily giggled. Now Severus found it impossible not to glare, though she didn't seem disturbed by it in the least. "How does this work anyway? I mean, you hated him, right? And Jamie is just like him. But he's your son. So, do you not like James? Or does that mean Al is your favorite?"

"Lily," groaned Teddy as Severus stared at her.

How in the world was he supposed to answer a question like _that_? The fact that his own son so much resembled the man who had made his childhood hell had not gone unnoticed, though Severus refused to put much thought into it before. "Why don't we talk about…erm…"

The young girl's smile faded as she seemed to consider something. "You…you do love Jamie and Al, don't you? They don't think you do, I think, but parents have to love their kids, right?"

Her joking tone from earlier had disappeared, leaving an expression of such worry that Teddy faltered in whatever he opened his mouth to say. Severus shifted uncomfortably, wanting desperately to tear his eyes from hers, but refusing to do so. This was the last conversation in the world he wanted to have. While, earlier, he had missed the weekly meetings, he should have known that anyone that did come would want to work through all of these new issues.

Stupid Potter, letting the truth come out this way. This was why he wanted it to remain hidden. Foolish boy probably hadn't even rid himself of the mementos as he had instructed him to all of those years ago. Stupid, sentimental man. Albus wasn't stupid. Somehow, he had figured it out. But there had to have been something, some sort of clue lying around, that led him to such realizations.

This was the last conversation he wanted to be having. Surely, her father would have been the better choice for such questions. Harry would have told her. He had no qualms in dealing with such emotional garbage. Even if the question was regarding Severus's own feelings, surely that didn't mean she had to ask _him_ about them. When had he become so soft that this thirteen year old girl felt perfectly at ease bombarding him with such personal inquiries?

There was no choice but to answer, though Severus hesitated doing so. "I…Of course I love your brothers, Lily. They are…Not all parents are good ones. They don't all _have_ to love their children. Yet, however heartless your parents might proclaim me to be, I do care for my sons very much. Just as I care for you and your father."

Admitting his feelings for Harry to the man himself was difficult enough. Having to confess such a weakness to another person was awful. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back, swallow them down, and never allow them to leave the confines of his heart.

Lily grinned. "You love me?"

He huffed. "You are my godchild, Lily. Due to your father's inability to understand when he, and his progeny, are unwelcome, I was forced to watch you grow up. Of course I've developed some form of disgusting fondness for yourself and Mr. Lupin here."

Teddy chuckled, face growing pink. "Aww, shucks. I didn't know you cared!"

"Despite any sentimental declarations, Mr. Lupin, I will not hesitate to use you as ingredients for my next potion," Severus warned with a sharp glare, entire body tensed defensively. Why say anything at all? He should have just snapped that he despised the lot of them and been done with it!

"We love you, too, Snape!" smiled Lily. The humor in her eyes slowly faded into something more serious that made him uneasy. "Even Daddy."

Dear Merlin. If the earth opened up to swallow him now, he would be forever grateful. His stomach churned at the mention of Harry. His heart swelled while his mind scolded him, telling him how foolish believing such blatant lies was. "So he says."

* * *

Though James had been home for days now, he made it very clear that it was the last place he wanted to be. His parents had forbidden him from running off again, so he kept himself occupied by inviting friends over. It wasn't as though they could instigate any sort of family drama with guests in the house. Just yesterday he spent most of his time flying around the backyard with his cousins, Fred, Roxanne, Dominique, and Molly, as well as friends Rafferty and Killian McLaggen, Dasha Krum, Paul Davies, and Gary Thomas. That night, just to avoid dinner with his family, he invited one of his best friends, Birgid "Birdy" Finnigan over under the pretense of a date. No one knew that James was gay or that Birdy was a lesbian, so it had worked out perfectly in his favor.

While such tactics had worked for the past few days, James was having a hard time getting any company now. The McLaggen brothers were grounded for reasons no one would tell him. Their sister Aoife offered him company, but she had been harboring a crush on him for years that disturbed him to no end, so he declined. The Krums were visiting their grandparents in Bulgaria, Paul and Gary both had to entertain their girlfriends, Fred was planning a party, Roxanne was having a girl's day with their cousins, and everyone else also had very convenient excuses. Even Birdy couldn't occupy him because her brother Trick had returned home from a yearlong visit to Japan. He swore it had to be a conspiracy. Ginny must have plotted the whole thing just to force him out of hiding. She really should have known him better than to think that something like this would be enough to break him!

This idea was only reinforced when it was announced that she had the day off instead of going into the office that afternoon as she normally did. How stupid did she think he was?

He tried to stay in his room for a few hours, but it didn't take long for him to become bored out of his mind. There had to be _something_ to do! But Quidditch wasn't much fun alone. Then there was no one in this house he wanted to speak to at all, no matter how dull things got. Ginny tried bothering him a few times, but he ignored her, causing her to storm off, muttering under her breath. Served her right, really. Served them all right.

Teddy! James jumped out of bed as his boyfriend came to mind. Why hadn't he thought of him sooner? Sure, he usually worked, but he had mentioned having the day off, hadn't he? And James had completely forgotten about it! Rushing to the door, he had to slow down, trying to calm himself before he left the room. The floo was in his dad's office, just across the hall. Harry wasn't likely to be in there today, so it was a safer bet than trying to sneak downstairs into the living room. The less people who were aware of him, the better.

As he gripped the doorknob, slowly turning it, he could have screamed for how loud it squeaked! Maybe it wasn't so bad, but in his desperate state it was as loud as an explosion! And he had heard plenty of those hanging around his Uncle George and cousin Fred! Carefully pulling open the door was even worse! Who in the world couldn't hear that creak? James cringed, holding his breath as he peaked into the hallway. Mentally counting to ten, he was relieved when no one poked their heads out, allowing himself to sneak out of his room, wishing he could _run_ to Harry's office, but forcing himself to walk slowly.

Opening the office door was even worse. Every inch he pulled the door open found James twisting his head all around, half expecting Albus or Lily to pop out of their bedrooms or Ginny and Harry storming upstairs, calling his name. Thankfully, he was only being paranoid and none of those things ended up happening. He was tempted to not even close the door to spare his nerves, but figured it was safer in case someone heard his voice. Once the door was closed, he let out a long breath of relief. With his heart settling down, he wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers then dropped to his knees in front of the fireplace. A pinch of floo powder, naming Teddy and Victoire's flat, then thrusting his face into the fire he was welcomed to the sight of an empty living room.

Teddy _could_ be out doing something. He did have his own friends, though the idea of him being gone was disheartening. It was worth a shot. "Oh, Teddy-Bear! You here?" he called out in a sing-songy voice. It was such a silly nickname, a pet name Victoire had been using for years. James originally used it to tease Teddy, making fun of Victoire for even saying it, though, recently, he was starting to see its appeal. No matter how much it embarrassed Ted to hear it, James could tell he secretly enjoyed it.

It was at least better than Teddy calling _her_, 'Vicky Doll.'

"Jamie-Dear, is that you?" called the sweet voice of Victoire. James cringed, face heating up, neck jerking as he was tempted to pull his head out of the floo. Seconds later the leggy blond gracefully walked into view. His cousin, or not really his cousin, he thought bitterly, grinned broadly upon seeing him. "Hello, darling. I'm sorry, but Teddy's not here. Lily came over not long ago and begged him to take her somewhere. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Err…"

"Is everything alright?" she asked, smile dimming somewhat. "Do you want to come over?"

"Well…I mean…I…dunno," James said uncomfortably. He was hoping for a distraction, though at her offer he was sorely tempted to launch into the whole story. Why did he bother keeping it a secret from her? From anyone? His stupid parents had been the one who wanted to keep a secret. It would be good for them, a right punishment for all of this to come out. What would everyone think of their beloved Harry Potter then? Not only gay, but a cheater at that! Though the former would probably cause more outrage than the latter, unfortunately. People were just plain silly that way.

"Come on through, Jimmy-Joo!" Victoire said cheerfully, though the happiness didn't replace the concern in her bright blue eyes. Why did she have to care about him so much, anyway? They weren't even _really_ cousins. She didn't know that, but still! Victoire was always so sweet it was hard to really hate her. Especially when she was so warm towards him. How was he supposed to dislike her? How could Teddy ever leave someone so nice and beautiful? It was starting to make James feel guilty for what they did, and he did hate feeling like this.

At least she called him _Jimmy-Joo_. That was so annoying! What was it with her and all of these stupid nicknames anyway?

"I have some cookies I made last night. They're not as good as Grandmother's, but I must be getting better! And we can have a chat or we can look through some…ahh…Quidditch magazines or whatever you'd like! You're always welcome here, you know. Doesn't matter if Ted or I am here, you just make yourself right at home. If you need to escape or have some quiet time to yourself. And if you need us, we're always here for you, you know that, right?"

Victoire just prattled on, so James, reluctantly, pulled his head out then flooed right into the living room. This wasn't his ideal way of spending the day, but it was getting him away from the house and his family.

"I thought you had work today," James said, trying his best to sound curious instead of accusatory.

"Oh, I was supposed to, but Teddy had the day off so I _begged_ Felicia to switch days with me. We haven't had as much time together lately," she said sadly. "Then he goes and runs off with Lily." Here she laughed, but James could tell she was disappointed. He moved around uncomfortably on his feet as she bustled about in the kitchen, putting the cookies on a plate then fetching them each a glass of pumpkin juice. James sat on the couch as she placed everything on the coffee table before sitting down beside him. "So what's on your mind, JJ?"

"Erm…Not much. Just…same ole family drama," he sighed.

"What _is_ going on?" Victoire asked curiously. "Are they fighting again? Your mum and dad? Mama said they've had problems before, but…Oh…Well…You don't have to talk about it if you don't want."

James _did_ want to. It would be a sweet taste of revenge to break the news to someone that the Golden Couple wasn't quite so perfect. As invigorating as the thought was, he couldn't make the words leave his mouth. "I…Sort of. More to do with the whole family than just _them_. They…they lied to us…our whole lives about…I can't say. I shouldn't."

"Oh, that's fine. I'm sorry for pushing!" Victoire said. She tried her best to look patient and encouraging, but he could see the burning curiosity in her eyes. The only thing that dampened it was the look of worry that had been in place from the start. "But if you _do_ want to talk about it, be assured that I won't say a word to anyone else. I promise."

"I…thanks, Vic," James said, swallowing hard.

He felt absolutely rotten.

The beautiful blond smiled nervously, blue eyes flickering away from him as she took a long sip of her pumpkin juice. More out of politeness than hunger, he grabbed a cookie, stuffing half of it in his mouth before swallowing it all down with a few large gulps from his glass.

"I…Well, I'm not very good at it, but if you'd want to…Play Quidditch…or something…We can go down to the pitch," she offered. In the small Wizarding village she and Teddy lived in there was a decently sized Quidditch pitch behind a restaurant called the Quick Quaffle. It was first created by a big Quidditch fan, so the walls were all decorated with banners of the various teams to seem impartial, but the sheer number of Caerphilly Catapults posters, the fact that there was a huge party at the place every game they won, also that the building's exterior as well as most of the interior were done in light greens and scarlet showed clear favoritism. It was a favorite place of James's. The food was actually really good. Besides that, he liked talking to like-minded wizards on their religion that was Quidditch. When the pitch was built three years ago, it was a favorite place of James's to practice flying during the hols. Not to mention that he loved angering owner, Jaegar Joram, by insulting the Caerphilly Catapults every chance he got, marching in to celebrate their every loss, and boasting every win of his own favorite team, the Pride of Portree.

He had been there a lot with Teddy. In fact, they once made out in the gent's room, nearly getting caught by Jaegar himself. James had to make up some flimsy excuse about trying, and failing. to prank school nemesis Zayd Zabini, who had been dining with his sister Xavia, her boyfriend Lev Lennon, and his girlfriend Melisandre Pucey. They had been fussed at a bit, but it was better than being discovered as not only gay, but fooling around with his cousin's boyfriend, who also so happened to be his father's godson.

It had been a fun, exciting day. James had been so happy, just like he always was when he was with Teddy. But thinking about all of that now, right beside Victoire, was awful. If she could read his mind, they'd be in deep shite, wouldn't they? He remembered, clearly, the hope that Victoire would wake up then walk in on them in the middle of having sex when Teddy had finally fucked him. He was deeply ashamed of that desire now, unable to bear looking at her. It was hard enough sitting beside her. James wanted Teddy all to himself, but at what cost? Victoire was being too good to him. Everything in him was screaming, begging with her to toss him out on his arse, to give him a good reason to hate her. A better reason than simply the fact that she had Teddy Lupin and he didn't.

Sometimes he could hate her for it, but it never lasted. The guilt was always sure to return as his hatred of her was. Only now it was worse. Because now she was being so nice to him, being there for him when he needed someone, and he knew that he didn't deserve it. Especially not from her.

His stomach churned.

Would she still have served him cookies and pumpkin juice if she knew that Teddy had been sneaking around behind her back? Could Victoire manage to do anything more than cry or would she hex him if she knew that after spending so much time comforting him that James seduced Teddy right under her nose? Why would anyone be nice to someone who had betrayed so much of their trust? Victoire didn't deserve any of it. Even if her nicknames were silly and annoying. Even if her only talent in the world was being pretty. No matter what things were wrong with her, she was still a good, trusting person so none of her little quirks warranted what James and Teddy were doing to her.

But he wouldn't stop. He never did. Teddy was too much a part of him now for James to let him go.

"James?" Victoire asked. He got the feeling she had been talking for a while, but he had been too lost in his own misery to listen.

"Hmm?"

"Are you…? Well that's a silly question. I mean…What do you want to do?" she asked, teeth worrying her bottom lip.

She was too pretty. Disgusted by his own guilt, James sat up straight, struggling to remember all of the things he disliked about her. Her cookies weren't as good as Grandmum Weasley's. The perfume she wore was too flowery. She was a stupid, silly girl. The nicknames she made up were horrendous. Her legs were too long. Her eyes were too blue. Teddy loved her too much.

No matter how hard he tried, nothing was working. Merlin, he hated feeling like this. Sick to his stomach. So deeply ashamed of himself. It had never been this bad before.

"I…I should go," he muttered.

What if he was pregnant? Teddy hadn't pulled out like he said he would when they had sex. If they had a baby together, Victoire would have to find out eventually.

His imagination worked well in providing a reaction. The shock widening her crystal blue eyes, tears welling up in them, the tremble of her full lips, heartbreaking sobs…

"You don't have to…"

"I…I need to," he rasped out, quickly standing, stumbling towards the fireplace.

"Let me," she said anxiously, but with a handful of floo powder he was gone before she could finish her sentence.

At least she wasn't really his cousin. He tried using that mantra to comfort himself as he landed in his father's office. It didn't work nearly as well as he had hoped.

* * *

Rose had sent an owl to Albus this morning. It had taken a while for him to feel comfortable reading it. The sheer thickness of it was daunting. For a while he had been sure she must have sent him a draft of a textbook she had been secretly working on rather than a letter. Perhaps it was a bit of an exaggeration, but he had never seen such a long letter before. She had sent several rolls of parchment, all filled from the topmost edge to the bottommost with her miniscule handwriting. With a heavy sigh, he sat by his window after breakfast, holding the top parchment to his face so he could begin reading.

By the time Ginny knocked on his door then entered without permission, Albus had read through roughly half of the letter. Most of it was Rose talking herself in circles again, giving her various theories of her father's possible affair. Then there was a very wild guess involving her father's possible homosexuality, wondering if she and Hugo could possibly be someone else's children, then questioning even her mother's fidelity. She then talked herself out of it by proclaiming that there was no way her father was gay and it was even less likely that her mother could have cheated on him. After giving him all of her ideas on how she could further prove if she was correct or not, she launched into questions of his own situation, wondering how on earth Harry and Snape had gotten together then asking if she could speak with her mother on the issue, as she had a feeling Hermione already knew. He was not all that amused by her assumption that Snape must have drugged Harry with love and/or lust potions, even going so far as to insinuate that he had invented a spell that built upon the Imperius Curse. Whether she was joking or not, he wasn't sure, but he frowned as he read the paragraph several times. While he was unhappy with all of his parents, he highly doubted Snape had used magic or other means of manipulating his father into a relationship with him. In fact, it made him angry with Rose for even bringing it up! She didn't know Snape _that _well. Though she should know him well enough to know that was not the case! Who was she to go around saying such things? Defensive feelings for Snape were not what he expected to happen, but the man _was_ his father and Albus couldn't let even his best friend say such vile things about him.

Luckily, Ginny's entrance interrupted his tenth read through that paragraph. She raised her eyebrows upon seeing the furious look upon his face. He was tempted to snap at her for walking into his room before he could say or do anything, but that wouldn't be fair. While he was upset with her, taking the anger he felt towards Rose out on her wasn't fair. Especially since it was anger concerning his defense of his biological father. Shaking his head, he set the letter down, then turned to face her, without really looking at her.

"What you got there?" Ginny asked, carefully sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Letter from Rose," he muttered, combing his fingers through his untidy black hair.

"Ah," Ginny said. "Things alright with her?"

"I…yeah," he lied. "Did you need something?"

"Well…Do you know where James is?" Ginny asked.

"Dunno," Albus sighed. "Probably running around with Teddy, I imagine."

"Right," Ginny said. "Ah…You good?"

Albus snorted. "As good as one can be in such a situation."

Ginny lowered her eyes to the ground. "Right. Well…Is there anything you…you want to talk about?"

There was, but at the same time, Albus really didn't want to be around her all that much. "I…Not really."

Turning away from her, Albus looked out of his window, hoping she would get the message. She didn't. Or at least chose to ignore his wishes. After several tense minutes, he reluctantly glanced back to her as she stared at him sadly.

"Why did _you_ do it?" he asked. Hermione had already given him her ideas of everyone's motives, but she wasn't Ginny, was she? Only his mother could really tell him why she had stayed. It would really be better coming from her, anyway.

Seemingly anticipating this question, Ginny nodded then sat up straighter. "I always loved your father, Albus. Always. The time he…got pregnant with James…we were already having a lot of problems. We'd broken up a lot over the years. Separated and almost divorced before we had been married long. We both had a lot of issues after the war…" Here she looked away, shoulders slumping. Albus averted his own eyes, reminded of many Victory Day parties in which his mother would fold into herself, clinging to her misery. He remembered his father downing drink after drink as though the bottle of firewhiskey was his lifeline. There had been so many tears and anger, yet he had been too young at the time to really understand any of it. How bad had it been before they were born? When the war was still fresh on their minds?

"He was always so angry. So was I. We couldn't stop fighting. Always over silly things. Almost always. I was depressed for a long time," she admitted. "When he told me he was pregnant and that he had been sleeping with Snape, I was furious. But I almost understood. I wrote it off as just another phase he had to go through to heal. Something he would get over, like his drinking. At the same time, I had already lost too many people I cared about. Even if he had done that to me, I wasn't ready to lose him, too."

"But it wasn't just the one time," Albus said quietly. "Why did you stay with him when it continued? And why did you help them lie to us?"

Ginny smiled sadly. "I stayed because by the time James was born, it was too late. Whether I had given birth to him or not, he was my son. And so are you. I loved you both, and I loved your father. Still do, really, even if he is a bit of an arse." She laughed bitterly, rubbing her hands over her face. "Merlin. Anyway, we had this life together. When it happened again, I was unwilling to give it up. By the time I felt stronger, more capable of walking away, we were already in too deep. Divorce is messy. I didn't want you kids to be caught up in our drama. I also loved him too much to give him up. I knew he could never really have a life with Snape…That he would never leave me. I knew he loved me. Snape was his weakness. Stupidly, I believed it would go away. When it didn't, I hated him so much for it. But I couldn't just leave him. Not when Snape would do nothing but hurt him. Not when we had children and a life to think about. It all seems a bit silly, I'm sure. Sometimes I wish I had left all those years ago. And, really, it doesn't happen often." Ginny cringed, as though realizing how stupid she sounded. No woman should stay with a man who cheated on her, regardless. "It's been so long since he last did, anyway. No use in running off _now_. If he ever did again, I might, but…Well, no point in thinking of that, eh?"

She seemed a bit flustered, eyebrows scrunched together, as though trying to determine if her words had come out the way she wanted them to. Not everyone explained themselves very well, but Albus thought he understood. It was a lot like Hermione had told him. Only this made a bit more sense to him. Ginny was too strong of a woman to stay with a cheater, no matter who he was or how she felt about him. But, considering the time period and what everyone was going through, the beginning of it was easier to comprehend. Why she didn't leave later on he still wasn't sure about. He was almost tempted to tell her about Harry and Snape's Christmas holidays kiss, but bit his tongue to avoid doing so. There was no use in bringing that up now. It was a nasty trick, really. They were all dealing with enough without that on top of it.

"So…the lie?" Albus prompted after a few minutes of mulling the information over in his mind.

"That was a bit selfish on all our ends," Ginny confessed apologetically. "Snape liked his life, didn't want it disrupted, so he told us to pass James off as my child. Then Harry got so mad at him he didn't even want James associated with him anyway. Then me…Well, it was a way to keep my family together. I always had wanted children, even if he wasn't of my own blood. I thought it was silly to lie to you both, but the first time I saw James, I wasn't willing to give him up. Harry and I had our ideas of the perfect little life we could have together. Keeping it all a secret was a way of getting and keeping us there. Eventually, we realized it wasn't fair but, by then, it was too late. Telling the truth would have caused so much…Well, you see what things are like now that the truth is out."

He let this soak in. At least she admitted it was wrong and didn't try to make it sound like it was for their own good. Still, knowing it was based on the selfish reasons of three people irritated him.

Yet, what if lying had been the best option? What would his life have been like if he had grown up knowing the truth? Snape was a cold man. While they enjoyed his company as their godfather, would they really have cared so much for him if he had been their father? Then they had to take into account the public scrutiny. They already got so much attention for being the children of Harry Potter. If the scandal of a gay affair with his ex-professor had come out, an affair that produced two children, surely it would have been much worse. Then Snape would have had to come out of hiding. How different would things be if Severus Snape were alive and well? Would people still hail him as a hero or condemn him as a Death Eater all over again?

There were too many factors to consider. Stubbornly, he refused to let it be okay. He had been lied to his whole life. But, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't quite as bad as he and James were making it seem.

"Al?" Ginny said after fifteen minutes.

"You shouldn't have lied," Albus said quietly.

"I know," she frowned.

"You still love dad, then?"

"Very much so."

"And me and James?"

"More than anything. Like you're my own flesh and blood," she swore. Her bright brown eyes pleaded with him to believe her, the sincerity of her words loud and clear. Even if she did love Lily more, she at least did love James and Albus, too.

"And Dad loves Snape?" Albus asked. He already knew the answer to _that_ question, but wondered if Ginny did.

She was quiet a moment, bitterness sweeping across her face as her posture stiffened. "Yes. Yes, he does."

Albus nodded slowly, feeling badly for his mother. To know your husband was in love with someone else…What must that be like? "And he loves you, too?"

Ginny smiled. "I believe so, yes."

"And does Snape love Dad?"

She snorted. "I'm not sure he knows how to love anyone."

A deep breath kept him from snapping at her. She had every right not to like Snape. But he couldn't help being irritated that she believed him so stone-hearted. That was the sort of persona he liked to portray, yes, but his confrontation with the man, if you could call it that, led him to believe that he _could_ love. He had been trying to tell Albus then that he loved his sons. And that night, turning Christmas holidays, Albus knew that even if Snape didn't really love them, that he loved Harry Potter. There wasn't a doubt in his mind concerning their feelings for one another.

Remembering that made it just a little bit harder to hate them.

What must it be like for them? Having to hide their feelings? To deny themselves what they wanted most? How could you love someone that much, torture yourself with their presence, and never really have them the way you wanted them? Albus shuddered at the thought, glaring out of his window.

Ginny must have sensed his displeasure over her words. With pursed lips she considered him for a long time before reluctantly saying, "Why don't you talk to them?"

"Hmm?"

"Your father…_Fathers_," she said. "I've told you my side of things. Maybe you need to get theirs, too."

Hermione had suggested he hear them out, give them a chance. Albus hadn't actively sought them out. He hadn't been as cold as before, or as wildly furious as James, but he also hadn't been quite as open as he thought he might be. Maybe he should go looking for answers instead. The sooner they aired all of their secrets, all of their feelings, the sooner they could get on with life and…

And what? Things couldn't exactly return to normal after this.

He frowned. Things could be very different. Or maybe they'd be the same. Who knew? They were going to have to move past it eventually, though.

"I think I will," he agreed finally. "Thanks. For…Well, for telling me everything."

"You don't need to thank me," she said, watching him uncertainly a moment before standing.

He hesitated before speaking, at first not sure it was right to say so, but then wondering why on earth it wouldn't be. "I love you, Mum."

The surprise on her face pleased him at first, until he realized how sad it was that she had to be surprised by such a statement at all.

"I love you, too, Al. Always have, always will," she promised. Originally she had turned in the direction of the door, but now she turned back to walk over to him, pressing a kiss to his head. Ginny lingered there a moment, ruffling his hair before giving him a soft smile then turning to walk out of the room.

Harry was actually home, available to talk, but Albus wasn't ready to approach him just yet. While he would speak with Harry and Snape eventually, he first wanted to let everything his mother had said settle in first. Really, after all of that his brain was too exhausted to deal with anymore of the subject. Maybe he would deal better with Rose's family drama. Sighing, he picked up her letter again, finding his place, becoming absorbed in her troubles, letting his own temporarily fade away.

* * *

Paperwork needed to be done, but Harry Potter was in no state of mind to do any of it. As Head of the Auror Department, he had many responsibilities, though it was also somewhat easier to skive off it all. Like the head before him, he could shove everything he didn't want to do onto some lesser employee, but that hardly seemed fair. Maybe Ron would if he begged him nicely enough, explaining that he and Ginny were facing some marital issues. Best not to explain what those issues were, lest Ginny already told him. Ron had been none too pleased to discover that his best friend had cheated on his sister. Had he not been pregnant at the time, Ron might have hexed off his manly bits. As it was, he still tried to, only the reminder of his condition and restraints in the form of Ginny and Hermione held him back.

It could wait until later, he thought, as he flew over the trees in his backyard. If he could settle his brain down enough, paperwork might prove a good distraction. The only problem now was that he couldn't distract himself with it. Flying, as relaxing as it normally was, wasn't doing anything for him, either. It only managed to get him out of the house, away from the hateful, accusatory stares of his wife and sons. Lily didn't seem to hate him as much as they did, but she had disappeared when he walked into her room this morning with every intention of taking her out shopping or flying or anything else she might want to do on a daddy-daughter date. They hadn't had one of those in years, and today seemed like a great time to pick up that tradition again.

He was lonely. Truthfully, he had brought it upon himself. He knew it. That didn't make it any easier to swallow. With Ginny he had created this perfect life, the one he had always dreamed of as a child. They had been a close family, just as the Weasleys had always been. Even with the rebellious 'I can't stand to be seen with my family' stages all of the children had gone through, they stuck together. They had always visited Snape together once a week and the Burrow as often as possible. There were many family outings, visits to family friends, visits _from_ friends. When the kids were home, they always spent a lot of time together. Quidditch with James, chess with Albus, card games with Lily, family dinners, family _cooking, _always a disaster and s great fun, nights spent curled up in the living room together in front of the fireplace with warm mugs of hot chocolate, sharing jokes and stories. Even when it was just Ginny and him, they did a lot together. Even with work keeping them busy, they made time for each other. Romantic dates or even just cuddling in the living room for an hour or two before bed if they were too exhausted for the former. Ginny wasn't just his wife, she was his best friend and he loved her.

Rarely did he face something such as this, having most of his family angry with him. Actually, he had never faced being the target of anger from most of his family. Most of the time, it was only one person, such as fights with Ginny or when he revoked permission for James to go to Hogsmeade one awful summer as punishment for bad behavior. There was even a week when Lily refused to talk to him for not letting her to go a concert with her friends. Never had anyone been _this_ mad at him, or had a real reason to be. It was easier to ignore when it was for silly reasons, or wasn't his fault. But this? This he deserved.

With a heavy heart, Harry finally landed his broom. Flying wasn't helping. In fact, it was giving him entirely too much time to think, something that was making it worse. Stepping into the house to put his broom away, he caught sight of Ginny as she walked downstairs. She looked to be in a slightly better mood to his surprise, but the moment her eyes landed on him, she gave him the dirtiest look before stomping off. His face fell, heart dropping into his churning stomach. Well, he had successfully killed whatever peace Ginny had managed to find. Just great.

He couldn't stay here. How could he stand remaining in such a tense atmosphere? With all he had done, he didn't deserve a reprieve, the snide voice in his head barked. But his body didn't listen, his legs carrying him outside where he Apparated into the Leaky Cauldron. From there he found his usual Snape-visiting car, head abuzz with internal war as he sped off towards the man's house. Snape didn't hate him. He had every reason to, especially considering how their last meeting had gone. But, surely, the man would let him in, comfort him even when he didn't deserve it. Maybe he would kiss the man. Merlin, how he wanted to! Shagging was another good idea, wasn't it?

Hadn't he done enough to his family?

But he needed it! Merlin, he felt so awful. Ever since it had all come out, he had done nothing but _think_ about _everything_, forced to face the mistakes of the past, despising the universe for not giving him a way to fix them now. He needed to get his mind off of things and this was the only thing that would do the trick for sure.

It wasn't fair to Snape, to use him that way.

But it wasn't just using the man. Harry _loved_ him. Wanted him. This was just a good reason to give into the desires that had been plaguing him for years. If only they knew how much he _yearned_ for the man's touch. Could they understand how insane it drove him to not give in? Were they aware of how close he had come so many times over these past few years?

What did it matter now? They all hated him anyway. Why not? It wasn't like Snape wouldn't enjoy the chance to have him again. Even if he _did_ have other ways of getting off, via _Egan Duff_. He cringed in disgust and envy at the thought of the man's name. Harry didn't know him, but there was no way Egan Duff was any match for him!

His thoughts were insane and chaotic at best for most of the drive, though the closer he got to Snape's house, the calmer he became. Maybe he could do this. He could walk in there and…Oh, hell, he didn't know _what_ he was going to say or do. He only knew that no matter what happened, he needed to be with Snape right now. The grip he had on the steering wheel tightened as his arms trembled, his pulse racing faster the closer he got. It had been days since he last saw Snape. For a while, he was sure it would have been the last time. Without realizing it he pushed his car faster, having to slam on his breaks in order to turn into the driveway.

In his excitement, unbuckling was a struggle. Growling with frustration, he finally managed to undo the buckle, throwing the strap aside as he shoved open the door. They would drink. Maybe they'd fight a bit, but Snape would make it all better. They could cook, talk, insult each other, play chess, or even kiss and maybe shag, depending on where his mind settled. All of his boundaries regarding their relationship had temporarily dissolved, and he would make the most of the situation. Guilt would follow eventually, but home life had become too unbearable for that to bother him just now.

Before he had taken two steps from his car, the front door opened for Teddy and Lily to walk out. Harry stopped dead in his tracks, all of his hopes and plans seeming to go down the drain at the sight of them. How was he going to explain this? It wasn't as if they knew he had come here for something particular, though maybe with everything they knew him being here wasn't quite as alright as it used to be. There was nowhere to hide, really. Even if he could cast an invisibility spell upon himself and his car, that didn't mean he could do so quickly enough to avoid being seen.

Teddy, with his orange and black tiger-striped hair, spotted him first, grinning and waving as he nudged Lily. His daughter brightened upon seeing him, the warmth of it easing the dread he felt. His eyes flickered to the house, noticing a sliver of black in the window before the curtains fell into place, then back to the pair heading towards him.

"Daddy!" Lily exclaimed, running the last few feet to him. Even at thirteen, she threw her arms around him without fear of embarrassment as she had done when she was younger. Last year she had barely wanted to acknowledge his presence. As surprising as it was, he was glad that phase had ended quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I…uhh…thought I'd check up on you…You didn't say anything before you left," he lied, hoping the story would make sense. If she had told Ginny where she was going, then…Well, he could always excuse that her mother was still barely talking to him.

"Oh, sorry," she giggled, blushing. "But how did…"

"Umm…I owled them before we left," Teddy said. He had never been a very good liar, and Harry cringed at the poor attempt. Lily shot him a dubious look still confused, before it all seemed to come to her. Harry frowned, but she said nothing on the subject.

"D'you want to say hi to Snape?" Lily asked. "He said he needed to get work done, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind being bugged again." She giggled, though the knowing look in her eyes seemed to shout, _"He wouldn't mind __**you**__ paying him a visit."_

He wasn't sure how he felt about that, his daughter knowing such things. Heat seared his face as he glanced longingly towards the house. The glance wasn't long enough to really see anything on the window, but he could feel those eyes watching him.

"Actually, I wanted to spend the day with you two, if that's alright," he said.

"Sounds fun!" Lily chirped.

"S'not like I see you two near enough these days," Teddy grinned.

"And whose fault is that?" Harry teased.

"Yeah, well," Teddy chuckled. "With Vic and work…"

"Oh, we get it, Ted," Harry assured him.

"Well Vic could always come with you," Lily said exasperatedly. "She's family too, you know!"

"So, where to?" Harry asked as they reached his car, chancing another look to the window as Lily and Teddy fought over the front seat. Snape stood between the curtains, moving as though to leave, yet he ended up remaining, looking him right in the eye. Above the pain, anger, and longing there was understanding. More than there, there was a message he read loud and clear in his heart, though his brain could hardly make sense of it at all. Snape got it. He had always been a smart man. He loved him. He was missed, always welcome, and many other things that made it so hard to situate himself in the car. Above all else he wanted to storm into that house, take Snape into his arms, kiss him then tell him over and over how much he loved him.

But he had his family to take care of. Teddy and Lily were here, more than happy to be with him, and that would be enough. They didn't hate him. And, no matter how grim things seemed right now, everything with his family would turn out fine. Even if things did end with estrangement, divorce, and a custody battle, he owed it to Ginny as well as to his children to see them through to that point before running off into Snape's arms.

Harry had been denying himself those desperate urges for so long. He could continue to do so for his family. Besides, a day with Lily and Teddy was probably a better cure than Snape's bed. The relationship he had with Snape was just as fragile as the state of his family. He had hurt the man the last day they had together. If he had gone in today, it was just as likely to go horribly as it was to go well. With his children, there was nothing to weigh down on his heart or his mind. They would laugh, have a great time, and for a while he could forget.

"Earth to Dad!" giggled Lily.

"What?" Harry asked distractedly.

"We want to go to the Muggle cinema. Please? And then the Quick Quaffle, maybe, for supper?" Lily asked.

"Sounds great," Harry said, dragging his eyes away from Snape as he pulled out of the driveway. "What do you want to see?"

Halfway to the theater, as Lily and Teddy continued to argue over whose movie choice was best, the three laughing so hard it hurt, Harry felt he had made the right choice. But there was a part of him, a very small part, that remained with him even as he slid into bed that night that regretted not going to Snape.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Finally back guys! If you're on my FB you'll already know, but I have had a lot of issues with writing from being busy to distractions to writer's block and all of that! Anyway, I hope you like it! It's been a while since I've written so I'm not sure how good it is!

Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, or put the story on alerts! And another big thanks to my wonderful beta Dani for fixing this chapter up!

The chapter title is from lyrics of the song "Always" by Saliva.


	6. At the Slightest Word

**THE BEST KEPT SECRETS**

**Chapter Six: **_**At the Slightest Word**_

* * *

The only time that worked for Marietta was Monday morning, meaning that Harry had to leave Ron in charge for the day while Ginny had to fight with her boss to get a few hours off of work. The children might have preferred to spend the morning sleeping in, and it had taken more effort than they liked to wake Lily up. Once she remembered what it was for, though, she became more energized than anyone.

Once out of the car, it was Lily who bounced ahead of everyone else, barging into the Dursley's London home without knocking. She had the bad tendency to just let herself into places, a habit that Harry and Ginny had both fought long and hard to break but to no avail. Shaking their heads, determined to fuss at her later over it, they followed her in. James and Albus unenthusiastically trailed behind them, the former wearing a pout with a glare that made the latter roll his eyes then shake his head every time he noticed it. For being the oldest child, he acted as immature as the youngest should.

Marietta had volunteered to meet them at the office, but Harry decided against it. The more formal setting would not sit well with him. He decided it might help his aversion to therapy if it didn't feel quite as much like it. She had been more than willing to accommodate him. Besides, they had agreed that it would be good for the kids to get to visit with each other and for him to catch up with Dudley when it was done.

This house wasn't nearly as immaculate as Aunt Petunia had liked her home kept. It wasn't chaotic, rather comfortable. All of the furniture looked expensive and nice, but also had the look of being slightly worn, well used by the family of four plus two dogs, a cat, an owl, and a toad. His aunt would have died had she seen the few brown and gray feathers sitting lightly on the cream colored carpet or the nearly empty glass of orange juice on the coffee table unattended and off a coaster. There were plenty of hi-tech gadgets lying about that Uncle Vernon would have died for, but could have never afforded. That huge, flat screen TV must have been the envy of the neighborhood! Douglas Dursley, the stick thin ten year old son of Dudley and Marietta, sat on the floor in front of said TV playing a racing video game. His fancy red car ran over three civilians before crashing into the side of a building when he heard them come in, turning around to grin at them. Aside from his curly brown hair, he didn't look much like Marietta. Harry liked to think this was what a skinny Dudley would have looked like.

"Hey! Anyone fancy playing? It's awfully dull playing alone and Dad's been on the phone most of the morning," Douglas said.

"No one wants to play silly old video games," scoffed Daisy, prancing into the living room. While not as fat as Dudley had been at her age, the twelve year old was chubby with long, curly blond hair. She at least looked like she had lost a bit of weight since they last saw her. She brightened upon seeing the redhead and squealed. "Lily!"

"Hi, Daisy!" Lily chirped, hugging her cousin. "Have you seen the latest _Witch Weekly_?"

"Ooh, yes! The one with Sven Krum on the cover?" Daisy asked, leading her away for girl chat.

"I would," Harry laughed, shaking his head at the girls before turning to Douglas. "But we're here for a…to see your mum."

"Um…I could play a round, Doug, I guess," Albus said with a sideways glance to his brother. James would normally be up for it, but he seemed set on being sulky and rude the entire visit. He wasn't really one for games like this, but he had a knack for them. It would be a good way to pass the time other than letting James's behavior bother him. Sitting down on the floor beside Douglas, he took up the second controller while his cousin got out of his current game to set it up to two player.

"Hello, Harry. Ginny," said Dudley breathlessly, walking into the room. "You'd think some people had never seen a computer in their lives. I've been getting calls from customers and employees alike all morning!"

While still on the bigger side, Dudley had lost a lot of weight when he finished school. He had become friendlier towards Harry, but still held onto a bad tendency of bullying, acting superior to everyone he met until it got him into a lot of trouble. At his first job, his boss hadn't liked his attitude to his colleagues or the constant sucking up, and had told him so. Then, when his first real relationship turned abusive, he faced domestic violence charges at the age of twenty one, ended up in therapy to deal with his issues. Marietta had been the one to treat him. He had been smitten with her at first sight, though she hadn't liked him one bit. Only when he started making improvement in everyday life then committed himself to wooing her did she fall in love with him. He left the job his father had gotten him to start his own business in electronics, which he was very good with, married Marietta, had two kids, and was living a better life than he had ever dreamed of. Maybe Dudley had treated him awfully during his childhood, but he had earned this for himself. He had worked hard at making himself a better person, one of the main reasons they got on so well nowadays.

"Not everyone can be a computer whiz, Dud," Harry teased, nodding in greeting to his cousin. "Where's Marietta?"

"Upstairs. She'll see you soon," Dudley said. "Did you know she's pregnant again?"

Harry raised his eyebrow. "No, I didn't. Congrats!"

"Thanks," Dudley grinned. "It's a boy, she says. She didn't want anyone to know, really, right now, but Daisy…Well, you know how girls that age are. Couldn't keep her mouth shut. So, now my mum _and_ her mum keep calling. Never left her alone with Daisy and Doug. Drove her plain batty, which wasn't good for _my_ mental health either. Mum's trying to talk her into trying some sort of pregnancy diet she saw on the telly the other day. Supposed to be very good for the baby and will help her lose more weight once she has it. I thought they were about to row with how red 'Etta's face was. I'm surprised she didn't start on her, though I wouldn't have blamed her, no matter how rude Mum would have said it was."

Harry glanced at Ginny, already hearing her voice in his head, some snide comment about being surprised Marietta knew how to keep her mouth shut. Some grudges were hard to let go of, and Ginny still hadn't fully let go of Marietta blabbing about the D.A. all those years ago. Hermione said it had probably only started from there, becoming something more after all of this time, though Harry didn't understand what that meant or what it could be. All he knew was that Ginny didn't like Marietta very much and one wrong comment from the latter would result in a tense morning of female mind games and thinly veiled insults.

Luckily, her only response was the tightening of her lips, showing her restraint from saying anything rude.

"Erm…I'm sorry to hear all of that," Harry said. "That's still exciting, though. A new baby!"

"Yeah," Dudley agreed happily. "We were going to stop after Doug. Sure didn't mean to have such an age gap, but…things happen."

"His name's going to be Donald!" Doug piped up. "Mum's glad it's a boy, 'cause Dad wanted Daffodil for a girl's name."

"Well, I wanted to keep the 'D' as well as the flower traditions, so that was the only one I could think of. It's not _that_ bad," Dudley defended, face turning pink.

"Yeah, Dad, it is," Doug snorted.

"You got really good at this," Albus said, voice strained as he struggled to keep his car on the road, thumbs barely visible as they flew across the controller.

"Thanks," grinned Doug. "Dad's been teaching me a few tricks since last time. I could probably even beat James now!"

Said wizard glowered at the TV in response, but said nothing as he sat down on the couch, slumping as far into the seat as he could go. Ginny shot him a dirty look while Dudley raised an eyebrow at him. "Almost forgot you were here to see Etta," he mumbled, shaking his head. "Things gonna be alright?"

"Dunno," Ginny replied smoothly. "We'll have to wait for your wife to tell us."

Dudley laughed awkwardly. "Right. Great. Yeah. Well, she'll be here soon, I reckon. D'you want anything to eat or drink?"

Eying Ginny's stiff posture beside him then James's glower, Harry eyed the kitchen longingly. "Scotch?"

His wife turned her sharp glare onto him which he ignored. Dudley just chuckled, looking uncomfortable as he glanced between them. "Isn't that the reason you had to see her in the first place?"

"Yeah. But trust me, if you knew, you'd be drinking, too," Harry said.

"Gotcha. One scotch coming up. Ginny?"

Sighing, she reluctantly asked for a glass of wine, causing Harry to have to hide the grin that threatened to break out. Even she couldn't deny that of anything, this was an occasion for a drink. At least she wasn't going for anything heavier like he had in mind.

"Can I have some, too, Dad?" asked Douglas.

"No," Dudley said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Ugh. Do we seriously have to do this?" groaned James.

"Yes," Harry and Ginny said at the same time.

"I think I would rather help Birdy paint her toenails," grumbled James.

"I'm sure you would love doing anything with your girlfriend right about now," Ginny snapped. "I could be making money at this time. But, you want to know something? Our family is the most important thing for us, so it's our top priority. If we're willing to put in the effort to make things better, then you should, too."

"What effort? Sitting here and whining to Marietta about all of your problems? I highly doubt anyone, even a trained professional, could fix how fucked up this all is," James muttered.

"Language," Harry warned.

"Leave me alone," James huffed. "Neither of you cared enough to be honest with us in the first place. Dad, you sure as hell didn't have enough respect for your wife or your family to keep it in your pants. So, I really don't see how coming here is proving how much we all love each other."

"I'm getting really tired of your attitude, James Sirius," Ginny hissed.

"James, I know you're upset, but you do _not_ talk to your parents that way," Harry said firmly, standing as tall as he could despite how embarrassed and ashamed he felt.

"Don't see why not," James muttered. "You both deserve it."

"That is it!" snapped Ginny.

"Oooh…I can see why you needed to see me," joked Marietta as she walked downstairs. Thank God she looked as little like her therapist self as possible. Instead of the professional bun, her curly brown hair was hanging down and instead of the skirt suit, she was wearing a pink sundress. Maybe he could survive this session after all.

"I really don't find the situation amusing, Marietta," Ginny said testily.

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, Dr. Dursley," Harry quickly cut in. "I know you tend to be very busy."

"Nonsense, you're family," Marietta said, waving him off. She also seemed unperturbed by Ginny's comments. "Are you ready to come on up?"

Harry and Ginny glanced at each other, then the kitchen. "Erm, in a min…"

Dudley then walked out with their drinks. The Potters took theirs quickly, quickly swallowing the liquid inside. Marietta shot them disapproving looks as they then approached her.

"Trust me," Ginny sighed, "we needed it."

* * *

In order to keep with the non-therapy atmosphere, they gathered then sat at the table on the back porch. She didn't even have her clipboard with her, but he could almost see her making mental notes by the look in her eyes. It was enough to make him cringe. There were probably notes calculating how far apart he and Ginny chose to sit, their posture, facial expressions, the whole nine yards. No matter how casual she made this, it was hard to get the fact that this was a therapy session out of his mind. So much for that plan.

Knowing Marietta would probably need something in her system, they asked Dudley to bring them more drinks, having to coax the woman into letting them. With alcohol in hand, Harry launched into the story from the beginning, Ginny putting her comments out there when the urge was too strong for her to keep it in. Being a therapist, Marietta had probably seen and heard a lot. Or maybe those understanding, knowing expressions were all part of training as a therapist. Whatever it was, the woman didn't react quite as strongly as the average person might have with the news given to her, but her surprise did not go unnoticed by the Potters. It was the twisting of her lips, the slight widening of her eyes, and the large gulp of wine she took, the obvious restraint not to swallow the entire glass. Marietta didn't say much of anything, only patiently waiting until they reached the end.

Silence followed his last words for a few minutes as Marietta seemed to gather her thoughts. Instead of the barrage of questions he had been given when first having to tell all of his friends about his relationship with Snape, she only nodded and finally said, "If circumstances had been different, would you be with him right now?"

Damn it. In theory, he knew that these sorts of sessions would involve questions like these, but he hadn't _really_ anticipated having to answer questions he didn't want Ginny to know the answers to. She was a smart woman, though. His wife probably already knew the answers to them all. Not that she wanted to hear them any more than he wanted to say them.

"Different how?" he asked, buying himself time to think up a good answer.

Marietta raised an eyebrow, but humored him. "If he had been willing to step up to the plate, to be a good partner to you, a good father to James."

"Even if he had, I don't think I would want to live the way he does," Harry admitted. At first, it seemed like a really good excuse but, in all reality, it was true. As much as he wanted to be with Snape, he didn't want to hide with him. The Wizarding world was his home. He didn't want to have to give it up to hide away with someone. Especially now that he knew how bad it was to live a lie and the consequences that could follow such a decision.

"What if he had been willing to leave behind his comfortable life?" she prodded. "Would you have stayed with him or gone to Ginny?"

"I…" Harry said, swallowing hard. "Well, since when all this started Ginny and I were headed to a divorce, I guess I would have ended up with him."

"Hmm," Marietta said. "What if he had changed his mind then? When you and Ginny reunited, ready to give the marriage another shot. If he had come up to you, saying he wanted to be with you and was willing to do whatever it took. Would you have left?"

"I…" Harry said, having to pause and think. Ginny was looking determinedly away from him, her face as pale as his was flushed. Really, he would have _wanted_ to say yes to Snape, but would he have? If he was married to Ginny at the time, deciding to give the marriage another go…He wouldn't have just up and left her because Snape decided he wanted him, would he? Not when he had made a commitment to Ginny. "I would have stayed."

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you have stayed? Because you genuinely love Ginny or because you felt obligated to remain at her side?"

"Well…I do love her, but I also would have…You know…I married her! You don't just leave a relationship because someone else wants you," Harry said, despite his heart telling him, begging with him to choose Snape. The thought made him feel awful.

"Do you really love Ginny?"

"Of course I do!"

"Are you _in_ love with her?"

The pause was short, but it was enough for Ginny to sit up straight, turning to stare at him with wide brown eyes. "Yes. Of course I am."

"Who do you love more? Ginny or Snape?"

"Honestly? I love them both the same." _Liar_! His heart and mind screamed at him. While he did love Ginny, he knew deep down that Snape meant more to him than anyone. Glancing between the two women, his heart sunk when he saw that neither believed him.

"Do you really think so?"

"Of course I do!"

"I'm not sure that you do," Marietta replied. "But we'll discuss that more later. Now, say circumstances changed tomorrow. If you and Ginny were going to divorce then Snape decided to come out of hiding, would you be with him then?"

Yes. The word was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. At first, it was for Ginny's sake. Did he really need to confess how much he wanted to be with the man? In front of his wife, no less? He frowned as he began to imagine such a scenario. His first impulse was to scream out "Yes! Of course I'll be with you!" However, the moment his imaginary self did so, he became scared. What would a life with Snape actually entail? They would fight so much. The media would go into a frenzy. He had dealt with them before, though. There had been a time when the tabloids were calling him insane, a liar, all sorts of nasty things. But coming out as gay in such a homophobic area, in a relationship with the last person they would ever expect to see him with? It would be bad. He could handle _that_, right? Life would never be normal. That was the crux of it, wasn't it? He just wanted to be normal. All of his life he had been _different_. Growing up, he had been treated like shite by his relatives, made out to be some hooligan to the neighbors. Then, in the Wizarding world, he was some hero to be gawked at. Marrying Ginny, having kids with her, that was all a part of the dream he had always had. Together they had created the life he had missed out on as a child, the perfect family he had always envisioned, wanting so desperately for himself.

What kind of life could he have with Snape?

As it had never been a real possibility, he had always dreamed of it in more pleasant ways than reality could ever be. He had never actually faced a real decision about being with Snape or not. If all of his obligations to Ginny and the children were to suddenly disappear, could he _really_ make a life with the man? What kind of life would it be?

With Ginny, there was always something missing, but it was perfect. Theirs was the way marriage was supposed to be, if you didn't count all of the secrets and lies. He _was_ happy with her, even if he did spend much of his time feeling that ache that constantly reminded him that something was missing.

"I…don't think so," Harry said.

Here, Ginny seemed surprised. "Really?" she asked doubtfully.

"Why is that?" Marietta asked.

"Well," Harry said, wiggling around in his seat, eyes focused on the table rather than their faces. How bad would it be to confess everything he had just been thinking? "I just…don't think it would really work between us." It was true, though he didn't go into detail about why that was.

Unfortunately, she couldn't let it go. "Why wouldn't things work out?" the therapist prompted.

"It's just…Everything with us is complicated," Harry said carefully.

"Hmmm. Is it complicated because it's so different from what you always thought you wanted?" Marietta asked. "Are you with Ginny because she fulfills a role in the fantasy you had for your life? Marry a nice witch, get a good job, have a few kids. Being with Severus Snape sort of disrupts that illusion of what many would call the perfect life."

"I…I'm not with Ginny because of…_that_!" he said defensively. Part of it might have been that, maybe, but that wasn't the _only_ reason. She was the sort of witch he always dreamed about having for a wife. She was pretty, smart, strong, gifted, loved Quidditch, and all sorts of things. They were good together.

"Very well," she replied. "But is that a reason you couldn't be with him? Because he doesn't fit into that sort of ideal? I do remember you told me a long time ago this image you always had of what you wanted in life. Do you remember what you told me?"

Reluctantly, Harry slowly nodded.

"You wanted to have a good career as a Seeker or an Auror. You wanted to have this nice little house in Godric's Hollow, get married, have kids, and be the sort of family you knew you would have been had your parents survived," she said. "Most importantly, you wanted to have a _normal_, happy life. Being with Snape would go against that idea of normalcy, would it not?"

"I…Well, I guess…"

"Then you have to face what the public would think of the relationship. They wouldn't be kind. Nothing that wouldn't be new to you, of course, but you've worked so hard at not giving the paparazzi any reason to hound you. This would stir up so much attention you might never escape it," she said plainly.

"Yeah, I know," Harry sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Then, in hopes of making his reasoning seem less bad, added, "We fight a lot, you know."

"You always did have an antagonistic relationship with Severus Snape," Marietta acknowledged. "Why do you think you love him?"

"I…Isn't this supposed to be about Ginny and me?" Harry asked, clearing his throat. Ginny had been sitting there so silently, he had nearly forgotten she was there. It was like he was being interrogated or something, rather than trying to work on his marriage and his family.

"This is about you and Ginny," Marietta assured him. "But Snape poses a problem in your relationship. You need to fully understand your relationship with him to better understand the relationship you have with your wife."

"I'm rather sick of hearing about my husband and _that man_, thank you very much," Ginny muttered.

"What _do_ you think of Harry and Snape?"

"What do you _think_?" Ginny snapped. "I hate it! My husband is in love with the greasy bastard who made our schooling hell."

Harry gritted his teeth. "He saved our lives and was a hero!"

"Yes, he was," Ginny said coldly. "But he was also an ugly git who treated us like shite for years."

"Have you two every really discussed Harry's relationship with Snape?" Marietta asked.

"Of course we have!" Ginny said exasperatedly.

"Err…Not really," Harry argued. "We _fight_ about him, mostly."

"So I assume you've only ever discussed him while arguing shortly after discovering another tryst?"

"Mostly, yeah," Harry said.

"You've never really sat down and talked things through, though?"

"No."

"Why would I want to?" Ginny snapped. "Why would I want to know all of the nitty gritty details of his _affair_? I find out all I need to know. That's it."

"But you don't think delving deeper into things is important?" Marietta asked.

"What would be the point?" Ginny asked tiredly. "He's not leaving me for Snape. I stopped worrying about that a long time ago. It's been a long time since he was last with him like that anyway. Things have been good for a long time. The biggest issue now is that the kids know."

"And yet, despite this supposedly being a family issue, you still requested a session for couple's counseling before the family therapy. Why is that if your marriage is so stable now?" Marietta asked.

Harry glanced to Ginny who opened and closed her mouth several times before slowly settling back down, giving Marietta a hard stare. The brunette examined them both carefully for a moment before switching her crossed legs, taking a sip of her own wine. Unsure of what to do himself, Harry remained quiet. The question, he figured, was aimed to Ginny. She was the one making their relationship seem fine right now, when she had been so angry with him since the kids found out. It wasn't like any of it was news to her.

"Why are you mad at Harry, Ginny?"

"You mean you don't know?" Ginny snapped. "What reasons don't I have? He cheated on me! Isn't that reason enough?"

"But if he hasn't in 'so long', as you've said, then why are you so angry now? Have you been treating him like this ever since you first found out? Has your marriage been nothing but glares and arguments ever since?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why is it now? Why are you so angry _now_?"

"Because it's all coming up again!" Ginny snapped. "My children hate me because of them! They're mad at me for being pushed into a plan _they_ decided on! Because I don't want to think about the feelings my husband has for that bastard! Things were fine before. We had a good, happy life together. But now that the kids know everything, it's all falling apart! And I hate him for it."

Harry frowned, bowing his head in response to her vehement words. They weren't surprising, but it was still unpleasant to hear them. His gut twisted, vision swimming as he lost himself in the familiar haze of regret, self-loathing, and shame. The thudding in his ears made his head vibrate, and was so loud that he could barely hear the two talk. There were more questions, mostly about why Ginny stayed. It was because she loved Harry, couldn't bear to lose him so soon after losing so many friends and family in the war. Then, when the boys were born, she couldn't walk away from them. Even in some of the later instances, she was unwilling to walk away from her life. Because she thought everything with Snape was just a phase, just another unhealthy way of dealing with his pain, just like the drinking. It was something he would get over, something he would move past, and she needed to be there for him, to help him through it. Sometimes she just knew that Snape had some sort of hold over him, and she had to save him, to get him through it. There were a lot of reasons. A lot of excuses, Marietta said, leading the two into a small argument that ended when Marietta requested for Ginny to tell her how she felt when she learned the truth.

"I hated him!" she hissed. "My heart broke, okay? I was sad. I was _miserable_! And I cried so much, and hated myself for loving someone who could do that to me! I hated him so much because he was supposed to love me and only me. He wasn't supposed to go to someone else like that. I was _angry_. I was…What do you think I felt? What sort of bloody question is that?"

"I know some of these questions might sound stupid, but it's good for you to air everything. The more you talk about this, the more 'silly' questions you answer, the more you learn about how you really think and feel about the situation," Marietta explained. "Were you embarrassed?"

Harry's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. What would she have to be embarrassed about? It wasn't like _she_ had done anything wrong. It wasn't like anyone else even knew!

"Yes," Ginny said hoarsely. "I felt humiliated. I was ashamed. I _hated_ myself because I wasn't good enough for him. Are you happy?"

"You…Why would you…It wasn't…How could…?" Harry said, the words flying out of his mouth before he could even understand what he was trying to ask. "Why would you think that? You're perfect, Gin."

"If I'm so perfect then why did you run off to him? Why are you in love with _him_, if I'm such a good wife? Why do you shag him if things are so good with us, huh?" Ginny demanded.

"I…" he said, glancing uncertainly at Marietta. How was he supposed to answer a question like that?

The brunette wasn't helpful to him at all. "Well? Harry?"

"It's…it's complicated. With me and him," he said. "I just do. Love him, you know? It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. More like there's something wrong with me, right?" He chuckled weakly at the joke, both women managing to crack a smile, though Ginny looked irritated by hers. "You didn't do anything wrong? Okay? I fucked up. You shouldn't feel all of that. You know? I don't…I can't explain what happened between us, but there's something there and I can't get rid of it. But it doesn't have to do with you, okay? You didn't do anything."

"How? How can that be, huh? You fell in love with that miserable old man! You kept going to him when you had _me_! And you _still_ want him so much! I can see it. Tell me, Harry, how does that not say there's something very wrong with me?" she demanded heatedly.

"Probably says more about me than you, doesn't it" Harry asked. The words were supposed to be a joke, but his tone held more bitterness than intended. "What I feel for Severus isn't about you, okay? It's just…I dunno. Something's there with him. Nothing you did made this happen, okay? You're great! My life would be so much easier if I didn't love him, but I do and I don't know what to do about it!

"Leave him alone!" Ginny growled. "We go there every week, Harry! You are determined to see him _every week_."

"Well, I wanted…" Harry began, but his wife cut him off.

"I know why you say we do it!" Ginny snapped. "Before all of this started, he visited Snape now and then, you know. To make sure he was okay in his new life. Making sure everything was working out for him. Then, when we began having problems, he and Snape became _friends_. That I understood! After that, when our relationship was fine, we had the kids to worry about. And Harry wanted them to know their other father, even if they couldn't know who he really was to them! Even that I could understand! I didn't like it, but I understood it. When it was just Lily, I got it, because it would look strange to stop seeing him so much when it was just her in the house! But the past three years, with no kids around, he still wants to see him all of the time. You may have children with him, Harry, and you might feel this obligation to him to let him see the kids, but you don't have to be there! We could have let him babysit or something so they could visit their 'godfather.' We could visit only now and then. But to be _friends_ with the man you're so madly in love with? How can we make this relationship work when you won't let yourself get over him? You keep going back! Every time something goes wrong, you run to him! You go to him for _everything_ and you _wonder_ why things are this way! Because you won't fucking let him go!"

Harry blinked in surprise, gaping at Ginny while Marietta slowly nodded her head. "That is a very good point, Ginny."

Breathless, Ginny just stared at her husband, seemingly surprised by her own outburst. After a few moments, she blinked then turned to look at Marietta. "Thanks."

"Now, tell me, how long have you felt that way?" Marietta asked.

"I dunno. I try not to think about it much," Ginny said quietly, taking a sip of her nearly forgotten wine. "For a while, I guess."

"And you've never asked Harry why he continues to seek out Snape?"

"Not really," Ginny admitted reluctantly.

"And why is that?"

"Dunno," Ginny said with a shrug, turning to look out at the yard. Marietta continued to watch her. Harry eyed them both, wondering when this would continue. For a few minutes, Ginny ignored them both while the brunette watched her. Finally, Ginny sighed in annoyance, rolled her eyes then turned back to them. "It's not like it would have fixed anything. Harry would have come up with some excuse to make it 'okay.'"

"But that's all it would have been. An excuse," Marietta said.

"Yes," Ginny said.

"And you couldn't find a way to contradict any 'excuse' he invented?" she asked.

"It's not like I ever had an opportunity to try, so I don't know," Ginny snapped.

"Hmm," said Marietta, tapping her finger against her lips. For a few minutes she looked at them both, seeming to think of something. Harry was getting anxious, wishing they could move on with this. He and Ginny would be fine. They always were. The biggest issue was the children, really. Maybe they should have started with the family therapy, instead.

"What?" Ginny demanded impatiently.

Still, Marietta said nothing for several moments. Only when she was ready did she straighten up, resting her hands on the table. "Do you fight regularly?"

"No!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Have you only ever fought when Harry had his affairs?"

"No. We've fought about other things before."

"Such as?"

"Moving to Godric's Hollow. He didn't want to leave Grimmauld Place for the longest time. Then, when I got an offer to play for a team in Greece, we fought about moving. Not often, but that was never the only argument we've had. Fighting's normal, though, in moderation," Ginny said defensively. "You can't…"

Marietta raised her hands to quiet Ginny. "I wasn't going to say it was a problem. Fighting _is_ good. Healthy, really, if done right. See, you don't want to actually hurt your partner. Some people will tell you a nice, calm conversation is better but, in all reality, it's hard to be completely honest with the stronger emotions backing it up. Arguments are a good way of working through problems and coming to a conclusion, so long as you don't say or do anything harmful in the process of getting your point across. What I mean to say, Ginny, is that by not prodding Harry concerning these visits with Snape was a misjudgment on your part. You should have questioned him. And if he was unwilling to give satisfactory answers, push him into it. Be honest. Say what's on your mind. Demand answers, because it's your right to know them. Harry, you do need to be pushed into being honest. Do you deny you would have lied or otherwise talked your way out of giving Ginny the truth?"

"Err," Harry said, not sure at first what she meant. Then, remembering she had mentioned the visits to Snape, and the fact that Ginny never questioned it, he looked away. Heat filled his cheeks, half tempted to spout off another lie, proclaiming that no, he would never do such a thing. But that wouldn't be very useful, would it? Hesitantly he replied, "Yes…I mean, no…I mean…I would have tried to avoid answering the question."

Marietta nodded. "Just letting it go would be wrong on your part, Ginny, but you never really have asked those questions. While Harry's actions have been detrimental to your relationship, you, too, have made wrong choices. While Harry does pursue to retain his feelings and relationship with Snape, you never _really_ do anything to help the situation."

"This is not my fault!" Ginny growled.

"I didn't say it was," Marietta replied. "But you're a strong woman, Ginny. You've always stood up for yourself, never taken shite from anyone. Is that correct?"

"I dunno why you think you know so much about me but, yes," Ginny snapped.

Marietta laughed. "Yes, well, it's something everyone seems to know about you. You're quite famous for it. You were at Hogwarts. Even _The Daily Prophet_ and _Witch Weekly_ enjoy telling tales of you standing up to teammates or coach during your Quidditch career, guests at the various Ministry functions you attended together, as well as various other run-ins with family, friends, foes, and strangers alike. You never let your brothers push you around, did you?"

"Of course not," she snorted.

"Right. And you like to imagine you can see through people's 'crap', if you will. You don't let them make a fool of you. Correct?"

"Right."

"So, tell me, if you're so determined to command this sort of respect, if you will, from everyone else, why can't you do it with your husband?"

"I don't take crap from Harry."

"Maybe you think so. Maybe you tell him when he's being an arse about something. But this whole situation sort of gets the best of you." Marietta frowned, settling back in her chair, taking a moment to consider them before proceeding. "The only real arguments you seem to have over the situation is when Harry cheats on you. Even then, though, you stay with him. And, instead of making him see things your way, instead of making him understand how you feel, you let him slide by with things. Harry is solely responsible for his behavior, yes, but why haven't you ever said anything? Why haven't you confronted him about his unhealthy relationship with Snape? Why stay with a man who is obviously so attached to someone else? And if you were determined to stay, why not demand a change? Why settle for this routine that clearly does not work for you and is doing no favors for our marriage?"

"What can I say? It's not like he's _really_ done anything wrong," Ginny replied.

"Hasn't he?" Marietta asked. "Even if their sexual relationship has stopped, that doesn't mean that the relationship they share now is right. To clarify, Harry, you are still in love with Snape, correct?"

"Erm…Yes."

"And knowing this, he continues to retain a 'friendship' with the man rather than limiting contact in order to focus more on being happy with the woman he claims to love," Marietta continued.

"Now wait a minute," Harry interrupted irritably. "I don't 'claim' to, I _do_ love her!"

"In your way, yes," Marietta said. "You also seek Snape out on occasions you should instead go to your wife with. It was mentioned that you 'run' to Snape for 'everything', remember?"

"What does that even mean? He's my friend. Of course I go to him when I have problems! I do the same with Ron," Harry snapped.

"When there are issues within your relationship and with your family, do you really think it the wisest choice to turn to someone you have romantic feelings for? Do you confide in Snape things that maybe you shouldn't be telling him?"

"Like what?!"

"Do you tell Snape that you love him?"

"I have before, yes."

"Have you told him recently?"

"I…" Harry began. What was it with her, asking questions he didn't want to answer? Was it fair to Ginny to have her sit here and listen to all of this?

"Within the past year?"

"Y…yes."

"When was the last time you touched in a manner that would be considered maybe too intimate for friends?"

"I…Almost a week ago," he admitted, swallowing hard.

"Did you kiss?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time you had sexual intercourse with him?"

"Ahh…about nine and a half years or so," Harry replied.

"Have you ever come close to doing so since then?"

"Well, a few times, yes."

"But you want to?"

"Of course I do."

"Does he know that you want to?"

"Erm…Well, yeah. I guess so."

"Do either of you understand that sharing a physical relationship with someone is not the only way someone can cheat?" Marietta asked with a frown. "There is such a thing as an emotional affair."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "A what?"

"I've sort of heard of it," Ginny admitted with a frown. By the look on her face, Harry assumed she had never applied it to their situation.

"It means that you share this emotional intimacy with Snape that is highly inappropriate given that you are a married man," Marietta supplied. "You're in love with him then continue to behave in ways that make such obvious to both Snape and to Ginny. While you've _mostly_ abstained from a physical relationship, there is still something between you both which is more than friendship. Surely, you and Ginny didn't have sex as soon as you began your relationship."

"No, we didn't," Harry said, feeling his brain turn to mush. This was all starting to go over his head. What on earth was she getting at? Just because he had feelings for Snape, that couldn't be reason alone to say he was cheating on Ginny!

"So why would you need sex with Snape in order to say you're romantically involved with him?" she pointed out.

"But we're not dating or anything," Harry sputtered. He and Snape were just friends, right? No matter how much either of them wanted more, he made sure that was all they were! That was why he struggled so much in making sure he never cheated on Ginny again. Sure, he slipped up a few times with the kissing, but even that didn't happen all that often! It could have been much worse. It wasn't like he was sneaking behind Ginny's back with anything, was he?

"Surely, you've been alone with him at some point over the years? I doubt you're supervised every time you've seen him."

"So? Being alone doesn't constitute a date," Harry pointed out dryly.

Marietta smiled. "Tell me, Harry, what do the two of you do when you're alone? Is your behavior completely innocent? Do you act the way you do with your friends, like Ron Weasley? Do you share things with him that you _don't_ with Ginny?"

Not all of their private meetings were completely innocent, Harry had to admit. The last time he had seen Snape, he had woken up in bed next to the man, kissing him for a bit. Then other memories came to mind, even those that didn't involve kissing. There was an afternoon spent at sea, searching for sea serpents and shrakes to be used in potions ingredients. In the hot afternoon he had removed his jacket only to have it stolen by a mermaid. When night fell, bringing with it a chill, Harry bundled up next to Snape for the two to share his cloak. He made many a joke about Snape bribing the mermaid to do just that, to which the man replied he had been thinking the same of Harry. Regardless, both enjoyed the closeness more than they should have. Then there was the night Harry found the man's cupboards lacking, dragging him out to the nearest restaurant. It had been a Greek place where Harry didn't recognize anything on the menu, leaving a smug Snape to order for him then insisting to pay for the entire meal at the end of the night. Had _that_ been a date? A morning spent walking through a garden, nights spent curled up in front of the fireplace, or even that snowy day when they decided that cooking together was the best way to warm up, only to burn the food when they distracted each other with subtle touches. Snape was the first person he told when he was promoted, the only person he told when he considered leaving the Auror department, and the only person he had ever confided in regarding the wartime nightmares that still plagued him from time to time.

But Snape was the only one who would understand a lot of the things that Harry did tell him. That didn't mean anything bad, did it? It was natural to tell things to someone when that person knew better of the subject than anyone else.

"Sometimes," Harry said. "But there have been things I've told Ron and Hermione that I haven't really told anyone else. There are things I've told Ginny that I haven't told anyone else."

Were there? He had been so confident upon saying the words, but once they left his mouth he couldn't help but question if they were really true. There was no point in thinking too hard on it. What did it matter, anyway? He knew that he hadn't done anything wrong, so there was no point in saying anything that would make Marietta or Ginny think otherwise.

* * *

Dudley tried making conversation, but James ignored him. He never liked visiting here anyway. After trying for too long to be polite, the Muggle frowned in annoyance as he moved away, sitting closer to where Douglas and Albus were playing video games. It was a pity Dudley hadn't said anything. As much as he hated being fussed at by his parents, he was just itching for a fight. Let them say something, anything! He had plenty to say back to them.

For a while he sat, just stewing, growing more and more frustrated as he imagined the various scenarios. He thought of the things he wanted them to say just so he would be given the chance to express all of his own rage. He wanted them to react badly. James _needed_ them to misunderstand him, to snap at him, yell, scream, and victimize him. Sometimes, at school, he liked to pick fights when he needed to let off a bit of steam. In this situation, however, and few others, he needed them to be the ones to instigate things. It had to be done in a way where he could remain the one who was wronged. But no one seemed willing to abide by his wishes. A Slytherin could do it, he thought bitterly, throwing his head against the back of the couch. His _father_ was a Slytherin. James wrinkled his nose in distaste. If he had Slytherin blood in him, maybe he could concoct one of those sly, manipulative, bastardly schemes to make them start this fight while appearing innocent in it all.

Unfortunately, James knew well he didn't have the patience or self-control for such a thing.

They had to go through with this stupid family therapy thing anyway. Once his parents were done, that was. He snorted, mentally wishing Marietta good luck with trying to reassemble the broken pieces of the Golden Marriage. They had always seemed so perfect so it figured that it would all be just an act. They had never seen the truth before. What else didn't they know? Surely, their marriage couldn't be so pristine beneath its shining exterior. Not with the dark secrets they had been hiding for so long. In fact, what else might they be hiding? Maybe they had more hidden siblings. Perhaps Snape had carried a few of them and they were all being worked to death in a hidden room in his basement, slaving away over cauldrons and Dark tomes. Maybe Ginny had carried out an illicit affair with a member of one of her rival teams in her Quidditch days, like some of the gossip columns in magazines such as _Witch Weekly_ used to claim. One of the Beaters from the Ballycastle Bats, Craddock Coyle, had been seen the past few years walking around with a love child named Coman, whose mother's identity was a carefully guarded secret. It was bound to be let out sooner or later. Maybe, just maybe, this 'gold-digging whore' was his very own surrogate mother. Or, having been part of an all-female team, perhaps Ginny had taken a liking to her own gender. Because, really, how well could a gay man please a woman? At least one person had to like the taste of pussy in a marriage, right?

He'd demand answers when it was his time. Then he'd really give it to them. Give them everything that had been tormenting his mind and then some. James knew exactly what he was going to say. There, in his mind, he pictured it vividly, his anger intensifying as his persona in the daydream did, spouting off hurtful words that inspired more of an outburst from all parties than was likely to actually happen. Harry would scream at him, call him horrid names in his dream while Ginny slapped him. Lily would cry and proclaim to hate him, Albus would disown him, and Marietta would shake her head in disapproval. James would be frustrated, feeling they were all against him, that they all hated him. He would tell them all to go to hell, then run into the arms of Teddy, who would kiss it better until Victoire showed up. Then he would demand that his lover tell the beautiful blond that his heart belonged to someone else, Teddy would try to edge out of it in cowardice, leaving James heartbroken and furious…

Blinking back tears, his throat dry, James jumped to his feet then sped out of the door, roughly shoving past Daisy and Lily as they walked by.

"God, rude much?" Daisy snapped, insulted.

Just before the door slammed shut, he heard Lily mumble, "He's been a cranky bitch for a while now."

"Piss off, Lil," he growled, wishing his voice had come out loud enough for her to hear.

He half expected someone to come running after him but, when he made it out to the end of the driveway, no one had come. Fucking wankers. James kicked at the grass. Where could he go from here anyway? Harry had driven them all here. No Apparation license yet. No broom on him. The only place he wanted to be, really, was with Teddy, and the only way to get there was via Floo, which he would have to go back inside for. Swearing under his breath, heat rose to his face as he stormed back inside, not speaking a word to anyone as he marched into Marietta's office where he knew there was a Floo connection.

James fiddled around with the pot of Floo powder, counting the seconds in his head, picturing Albus or Lily running into the doorway, fuming, demanding to know where he was going. No such thing happened. Fuming, he tossed the powder into the fire, growling out his destination.

It didn't occur to him until he had done so that both Teddy and Victoire worked, but that was just fine. He could wait for them. They wouldn't mind. Surely, they had become used to his presence by now. Victoire, especially, had been very accommodating.

So it was surprising to stumble out of the fireplace to lusty moans that were too close for comfort. Were they…? In the _kitchen_? James froze where he stood, head spinning, heart and stomach plummeting to his feet at the sound of slapping flesh, his cousin's melodious voice singing out the name of the man he loved. And Ted…God, Teddy groaning about how good she felt, encouraging her to move over him faster. Merlin, he felt sick. Did they take the day off to shag or something? Glancing at the clock, he mildly wondered if they had taken a lunch at the same time and decided that fucking was more enjoyable than eating. Or, maybe, they _had_ been eating beforehand. He cringed at the mental image. The only thing worse than picturing her pretty blond head working over Teddy's cock was the idea of Teddy's beautiful face buried between her long, shapely legs.

Thoughts of his earlier daydreams returned to haunt him. Would Teddy _ever_ leave Victoire? James gasped, forcing the train of thought to stop before it went any further. No. No, no, no, he wasn't doing this now.

"Oh, Teddy, yes! Right there…So _good_!"

Bile rose in his throat as he turned back to the fireplace, fingers trembling violently as he threw in the Floo powder, gasping out the first place he could think of.

* * *

Video games were only interesting for so long. Only his desire to keep his attention away from his brother kept Albus going. Eventually, he handed his controller to Dudley, who was more than happy to replace him. To his relief, James wasn't on the couch. He was probably off sulking somewhere, since no one was paying him any mind, or raiding their kitchen for snacks. Should James return, Albus sat in a chair as far from where he had been sitting as possible. Minutes dragged by. Watching the game wasn't nearly as interesting as playing it, though his eyes were glued to the screen regardless. It wasn't like he could look anywhere else. Maybe when he had more energy he could try perusing their bookshelves. Over the years, Albus was sure he had read all of their books, including the creepy erotic ones Marietta kept hidden in the bottom drawer of her desk. Even the worst literature could provide had been read, if only to say he had absorbed it all. Maybe she had gotten some new books. Rereading some of it wasn't out of the question. Most of Marietta's book choices were questionable, such as the _Twilight_ books that were on the coffee table. Was Daisy reading them? They were a bit old, at least by her standards. She wouldn't touch anything, books, music, anything, that wasn't current. Though it _did_ seem like the sort of brainless rot she normally liked to read. Perhaps he should direct her to the _Fifty Shades _books her mother had hidden. Albus thought they were rubbish, but Daisy could easily lock herself in her room with them for a few weeks and emerge a very satisfied girl. Though he really did not want to think about that. And, maybe, she was too young to read such things, though, really, he hadn't been any older than her when _he_ first read them. They hadn't really inspired enough arousal in him to have him hiding under the covers with them, but he liked to think he had better taste.

_The Mists of Avalon_ could be revisited, though he couldn't, for the life of him, remembered if he had sneaked it back here or if it was still hiding under his bed at home. If not, he knew exactly where to find the likes of _Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West_ and _Wideacre_, though he deeply wished he had the foresight to bring _The Return of the King_ so he might finally finish it.

After mulling over the list of books he knew the Dursleys owned, he finally convinced his body to move towards the nearest bookcase, which was on one side of the TV while the shelves on the other side contained hundreds of DVDs. After glancing over the titles several times, he plucked _Lolita_ from the shelf, settling back in his chair with it. He had nearly grabbed _Wuthering Heights_, but as he had read that particular novel numerous times so he had decided on the one he had only read twice before.

Only three pages into the book, Lily bounced in with a bowl of popcorn, choosing to sit on the arm of Albus's chair rather than the couch or the loveseat, both with plenty of empty spaces. "You seen Daze?" she asked through a mouthful.

"Uh uh," Albus grunted, squirming around in the chair to find a position where her presence bothered him the least.

"Popcorn?"

"I'm trying to read, Lil!"

"What are you trying to read?" She leaned over as far as she could to look under his hands at the cover. "_Lolita_? Isn't that the one about the child molester?"

The fact that Lily knew anything about the book surprised him. "Go away."

"Do you like little girls?"

He didn't like girls, period.

"You're really bothersome, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Hey, you're not being sexually abused by any of our professors are you? Is it Professor Slughorn? He does seem really creepy."

Albus choked on air, revolted by the awful mental images of a naked Professor Slughorn trying to grope him that assaulted his mind. "Lily!"

"What? Good thing we're here for therapy. You're really going to need it, if that's the case."

"Why would…God, Lil, why would you even say something like that?"

"I was curious, is all! And a little worried. Why _are_ you reading it?"

Albus sighed. "The same reason I read any book. More than once," he felt the need to add. After all, he thought while glaring at the _Twilight_ books, he had read many different things. "It's good."

Lily seemed confused by this. "But what could be so good about…"

"Lilyyyy! Alllll!" Daisy sang as she lumbered into the room.

"Yep?" Lily asked, hopping off of the arm of the chair.

"James left," Daisy said smugly.

"He what?" Albus asked, closing his book.

"He. _Left_," Daisy giggled. "Just up and left! Out of Mum's Floo. Went to Teddy's place. I heard him when I was going to the loo! Golly, I bet your parents will be _furious_ that he just up and left!"

"Yeah, they will be," Lily giggled. The idea of James getting into trouble was enough to please her, but Albus glared at them.

"I don't find that very funny at all," Albus said coldly. A very small part of him felt concerned for his older brother. While the extent he was taking this was ridiculous, James _was_ hurting over the whole ordeal. The idea of this therapy session might have scared him off and he felt like he had no one to even go to about it. That thought made Albus feel wretched. Of course, the more realistic assumption was that James was looking for attention and ran off to cause an even greater rift in the family. Sometimes James could be more dramatic than anyone Albus knew.

The problem was that there was no way of knowing, short of firecalling Teddy and Victoire, to see what James was up to. Even if Daisy hadn't heard where he was Flooing, it was the first place anyone would check. Especially knowing what Albus knew, knowledge that drove any sympathy he might have felt away. What right did James have to take comfort from their cousin when he was betraying her in such a vile manner? Even if they didn't have to worry about Victoire being their cousin, why lead Teddy astray? He was practically family, for one thing, but James knew Teddy was in a relationship! A happy relationship with a beautiful witch he had been with for a long time. Why would he allow himself to ruin things? Not that James was entirely at fault, but it wasn't fair at all that he should continue to go to them as he did, doing the things he did.

Someone was going to have to talk some sense into James, and it was going to have to be Albus. Aside from the fact that only he knew particular things about his brother, he was also the only other person who really knew what James was going through. They were both in the same situation. They had both been lied to the same way about the same thing. Guilt steadily returned as he recognized this. No matter how mad he was at James, or how irrationally his brother reacted, Albus should have been there more, showing more support, all things considered.

"Don't stick up for him," Lily grumbled. "He's been a right prat. Let him cause more problems! Maybe Mum and Dad will finally punish him _for real_. Like he should be."

"Wonder if they'll bring him back here to yell at him? I really wanna see this!" Daisy said cheerfully.

"Daisy Petunia Dursley, that is very rude!" Dudley said loudly, Douglas pausing the game as his father turned to glare at his sister. "Their family is dealing with a lot right now and it is not for your amusement."

The young girl paled, her smile vanishing. "Oh, Daddy, I didn't mean anything by it. We're family! Doug and I always like it when each other gets in trouble!"

"It's still none of your business what everyone else is dealing with," Dudley said shortly. "Also, you and Lily need to stop trying to eavesdrop on their session."

Lily and Daisy giggled. "But, Dudley, we couldn't even hear anything!"

"Still, you need to stay away from them," Dudley said, settling back down by his son.

"On the off chance we _do_ hear something," Daisy muttered.

"Meaning there's a possibility we can get through the Silencing Charms," Lily went on thoughtfully.

"Seriously, you two, stop it!" Albus snapped. "I understand that you're both naturally very nosy people, but stay out of it. Go gossip about useless things like…like Bonnie Davies' hair or Periwinkle Green's new boyfriend!"

"Periwinkle has a new boyfriend?" Daisy gasped.

Albus stared at her in disbelief.

"I…_think_…he was joking," Lily said uncertainly.

"We should find out though! I could have sworn she was still dating Ian Thomas!"

"What if she _is_?" gasped Lily.

His sister could be pretty decent at times. She liked Quidditch, cooking, joking around, and generally got along with most of the family better than anyone, based on her various interests. At the same time, Lily tended to get along with _everyone_, even going so far as to joining in with gossip mongers like Daisy Dursley and, well, whoever her other friends were. She hadn't really been like this until the past few months. It must have been Periwinkle Green's influence. Harry told him just a day or two after summer started that Periwinkle's mother, Lavender Green, nee Brown, had been the same way. All they could do was hope Lily would learn better and try to steer her away from what he called 'girl madness'. As her mother had never been like that and had, in fact, disliked such girls, he had high hopes that she would grow out of it soon.

"I'm going to go try to get James back," Albus grumbled, setting his book down before setting off to Marietta's office. It was probably useless, but he had to try. What sort of brother would he be if he didn't at least reach out towards the troubled oldest child? In all reality, James was likely to be very angry and mean, so Albus would have to make sure he was calm before going for it. Just because he was the normally calm, patient, logical sibling, didn't mean he didn't snap sometimes. With everything happening as it was lately, it was very likely to happen. Especially considering just how big of a prat James had been.

So when he entered the office, the fireplace was not the first place he ran to. Instead, he paced up and down in front of the desk, mind whirling with possible starts to the conversation. It was difficult, as Albus himself wasn't really looking forward to this therapy session. In theory, it had been brilliant when Lily first brought it up. But now that the time was looming nearer, surely Marietta would be done with his parents soon, he was dreading it more and more. Being honest was good. Having the truth all aired out could help them. But did he want to hear what everyone else had to say? Sort of. Only he wasn't sure he was ready for it just now. He rubbed his hands together, eyes flickering towards the door. Their parents would be furious to learn James had up and left. It would be worse if they had seen that Albus was gone too. It really was a bad idea, considering somewhere to flee to as he was.

He had talked to Hermione and Ginny both. He _knew_ he was going to have to talk to Harry and Snape about this. But was _therapy_ the proper format to do such a thing? It wasn't really helpful to him to listen to his father's excuses when they were carefully constructed for the audience of their therapist, his wife, and all three children. Really, Albus thought it would be best to have a one on one conversation with both men at some point or another.

Would Snape even be home? Would he be willing to talk to Albus about this now? What if he was busy? His stomach churned. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. He'd have to owl beforehand, surely. Besides, he couldn't possibly skip out on this session.

His mind had gone from scheming up ways to get James back to cooking up his own excuses to be able to leave so fast he hardly noticed he had done it. Only when he remembered his original intentions for coming into the office did he blink then roll his eyes at himself. This was silly. Family therapy wasn't so scary, was it? It wasn't like he couldn't talk to Harry again afterwards.

Still, something was egging him on, urging him to take the Floo powder and leave. It was Snape he really wanted to talk to now. Snape, whose motivations were the most mysterious of all. It was easy to see that Ginny and Harry loved him. Only they had buggered it all up by lying to him. But his other father, his so-called 'godfather', was so cold, so hard to read. There had been hints given their first visit to him of the summer, but did they necessarily mean anything? He hadn't really spoken to the man about any of this. The most important answers would, surely, come from him.

Before he could talk himself out of it, before he fully realized what he was doing, he Flooed right into Snape's living room. It was only stepping out of the fireplace that he was surprised it had worked at all. The man was so paranoid about magical transportation done too close to his home, let alone _in_ his home. Why did he even have a Floo connection? Not that Albus was really complaining now. He had at least reached his destination.

"Well, well, well, Potter. Snape didn't say he was expecting any other guests."

Albus blinked rapidly, taking a moment to realize someone else was in the room with him and a few seconds longer to realize that it _wasn't_ Snape. It took him so long to straighten his thoughts out that the pale, slender blond lounging on the couch snickered at him.

"Don't tell me you're not sure how to put that mouth of yours to good use," Scorpius Malfoy said slyly, lips curling into a wickedly suggestive smirk.

That remark caught his attention, causing his face and neck to heat up. "What are you doing here, Malfoy?" he snapped.

"I, unlike you, was invited," Scorpius replied. "But I suppose being the man's son grants you particular permissions, even if barging into someone's home unannounced is dreadfully discourteous."

Albus opened his mouth to make a smart retort when it registered. Green eyes widened as his mouth was left hanging open for several moments, causing Scorpius to chuckle, before he gathered his wits enough to speak. "How do you…What makes you think…?"

The blond held up his hands to stop him talking. "I've always known, I think. My father and Snape have always been close. Naturally he was aware of the situation. Being the _curious_ child that I was, there were particular conversations overheard in my youth that granted me this knowledge. I freely acknowledge it to you now, as they were speaking just earlier about the predicament in which you Potters find yourselves."

Ever since stumbling out of the Floo, things were becoming stranger and stranger. Not only did the obnoxious git know about his family's secrets, but he had apparently known longer than Albus himself had. It was one thing for his parents' friends to know. They had been there at the time. But for _him_ to know? If that wasn't troubling enough, he also had to recognize that while Scorpius had been aware all this time, he had never said anything. Not to anyone. This was the sort of ammo Slytherins craved, was it not? The very deepest, blackest secrets anyone had, used to exploit and blackmail, bend everyone to their every will.

When he was eleven, first heading off to Hogwarts, he had been concerned about being Sorted into Slytherin. James had been teasing him about it since he received his letter. Harry had done a fine job of reassuring him that being Slytherin wouldn't be so bad. At least Albus now had a better understanding of _why_ it would be perfectly acceptable for him to be in that House, considering it was Snape's. But Albus was glad he had ended up a Ravenclaw instead. All of the Slytherins were a nasty bunch! He had seen too much of their damage.

For a while, he stuck up for them against those who spoke ill of the house. It wasn't fair to judge everyone because of where they had been sorted. Even if the Dark Lord had hailed from Slytherin, as well as the majority of his Death Eaters. The war had left Slytherin with its worst reputation ever. Though Albus now had very good reason to dislike all of the Slytherins he actually knew, he would never intentionally sit there and judge someone _just_ for being one. But considering the prats he knew from that house, he was glad he hadn't ended up there himself.

Though, when he really thought about it, maybe he was guilty of thinking too harshly of them.

So lost in thought was he, Albus hardly noticed Scorpius at all. The blond smirked at him for a while, but the longer the black-haired boy stood, lost to his own mind, the more uncomfortable and concerned he grew. The teasing mischief abandoned his silver eyes, smirk fading from his mouth as he continued to watch the Ravenclaw. Resentment, guilt, confusion, and plenty of other emotions flickered through almond shaped green eyes, dark brows furrowed, mouth still hanging open like a buffoon as he took it all in.

Finally, growing bored with these proceedings, Scorpius cleared his throat, picking up the firewhiskey he had sneaked from the kitchens when his father and Snape disappeared into privacy.

Wanting to give some clever remark, but being unable to find one, he could only tilt the bottle in the other boy's direction in offering as he wracked his brain for anything to say.

Albus was quicker than him, snapping out of it before the blond could annoy him further. Without a word, he eagerly stumbled forward to grab the bottle, reluctantly sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, regretting doing so only a second later. Why hadn't he chosen one of the chairs? Doing so now would just look silly, so he remained, taking a large gulp from the bottle, immediately choking as the liquid burned down his throat.

Scorpius sniggered. "First time?"

Sensing a joke about virgins coming up, Albus forced himself to speak to avoid it. "Where is he, anyway? Snape, I mean?"

"Oh, he and Father went looking for privacy earlier," Scorpius explained, flicking an invisible piece of lint from his knee. "Probably shagging."

As Albus had chosen his inopportune moment to take another drink of the bottle, he choked yet again, though he couldn't force himself to cough this time. Eyes burning, Albus leaned over to try to unclog his throat and his mind while Scorpius reached over to pound on his back. Finally he was able to breathe, though he coughed for a while before it all cleared out. When it seemed to have stopped, he wiped his watery eyes then glared at the blond. "Don't say things like that."

The blond snorted. "It's not like I'm having you on. It's true."

Albus blinked at him. "No, it's not."

Scorpius raised his hands. "Fine. Clearly you've been around them more than I have. Sorry."

Settling back into the couch thoughtfully, Albus took another swig of the firewhiskey, finding it easier to ignore the burn of it with his mind so preoccupied. Snape and _Draco Malfoy_? He wrinkled his nose. Wasn't Draco straight? He had a wife, didn't he? _But_, a voice in his head cut in snidely, _so did his father_. Harry, that was. He needed an easier way of specifying them, as he technically had two fathers. Unless Harry counted as their _mother_, as he had given birth to them, but going down that train of thought was just too strange.

"Why?" Albus sputtered after a while, never really taking notice to the fact that Scorpius had been staring at him these past ten minutes spent in silence.

"Why are they shagging?" Scorpius correctly guessed. "Same reason anyone does I suppose."

"That doesn't disturb you?"

"Course not. My parents have never been faithful long as I remember. Always known my dad's had a special liking for cock as well."

"Hmmm," said Albus. It was just too strange. He had suspected for several months the truth about his parentage, and had been forced to face the truth of his father's sexuality before even that. Only now was he actually getting his head to fully wrap around it. But this was a bit much! Astoria and Draco Malfoy had always seemed just as perfectly happy as Harry and Ginny had. Did every couple who _seemed _happy really have such deep, odd secrets, the reality being so opposite of what they seemed? How could you trust anything when everything you thought you had known turned out to be a lie?

Then there was the disturbing thought of Snape actually engaging in sexual intercourse with Draco. He cringed at the mental image that just didn't want to leave.

"So what's _your_ preference, Potter?"

"My what?"

"Sexuality. Merlin, man, are you straight? Gay? Bi? Asexual? Something?"

"Why do you think I'd tell you something like that?" Albus demanded defensively. Did Scorpius think he was really so stupid as to just hand out information such as that to be used against him.

"Just trying to be friendly," shrugged Scorpius. "I'm bi, though I lean a bit more towards cock myself. Sad thing is it's so hard to find other men of that persuasion."

What on earth was going on in the world? Albus eyed Scorpius suspiciously. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I already told you, I'm being friendly," Scorpius said, raising an eyebrow. Then he scooted closer, causing Albus to stiffen. "Maybe see if I had a reason to get friendlier."

Was the git actually _flirting_ with him? Trying to seduce him? Albus stared at him incredulously, but he saw no traces of humor in the other boy's expression.

The virgin that he was, the idea of sex, even with a Malfoy, was enough to have his cock twitch interestedly, though he swallowed hard, struggling to keep his mind off of _that_. He hadn't come here for that and, really, Scorpius was a complete git, no matter what Rose said about him! Even if the other wizard was mildly attractive, which he was, sometimes, or maybe only now that Albus was experiencing alcohol for the first time, that didn't mean he had to want to do things like that with him! Thinking of Snape with Draco again was enough to dampen any traces of arousal.

"So you're only friendly when you want to fuck?" Albus asked, looking away from the boy as he spoke.

Scorpius smirked. "You don't think I'd want to befriend you?"

"Not particularly, no," Albus said dryly.

The blond laughed. "Well, while I wouldn't mind a good shag, I also wouldn't mind a new friend either. Besides, you're awfully close to Rosie. What could it hurt to try to get to know some of her friends better?"

"I'm afraid your reputation precedes you," Albus said darkly. He was absolutely certain that no good could come from trying to 'get to know' Scorpius Malfoy. Though there was his conscience, that little voice in the back of his head making him feel guilty by reminding him how unfair it was to not even give someone a chance. He knew plenty with bad reputations who had turned out to be very good people. And people with good reputations that had turned out to be not so nice. When it came to people like Scorpius Malfoy, Zayd Zabini, Richard Nott, and most of the other Slytherins, giving them a chance seemed dangerous.

This time, Albus noticed the amusement disappear from the other wizard's face, a flicker of something unsettling passing through his eyes. He shifted where he sat, feeling ashamed of himself all of a sudden. It wasn't like Scorpius had ever done anything _to him_. Rose had been friends with the prick since first year. He couldn't be all bad, surely?

Unsure of how to rectify the situation, or if he even wanted to, Albus frowned at the fireplace while Scorpius turned away from him, scooting as close to the arm of the couch, as far away from Albus as possible.

"Are…are they _really_ shagging?" Albus asked quietly.

"Dunno," Scorpius said stiffly with a shrug. "Not like I've ever seen them. But I have a pretty strong feeling about it. Not sure what else they could be doing. Enough times for me to have formed this sort of opinion about it," Scorpius snorted.

Seconds ticked by slowly as Albus absorbed this information. Not only did such a pairing seem so wrong, but what about his dad? Snape loved Harry, didn't he? He thought back to the times he had seen them together, starting from the scene he had witnessed during the Christmas holidays. There was something very much alive between his fathers. So how on earth could Snape involve himself with other men? Even if Harry _was_ married to Ginny.

He must have been muttering under his breath as he was thinking, for Scorpius replied, "It's hardly fair to expect Snape to be 'faithful' in what isn't even a real relationship. The man has needs. If your…if _Mr. Potter_ can get his rocks off with your mum, why can't Snape do it with someone else? It's just sex, anyway."

"Yes, but still…" He trailed off, not sure he wanted to voice the feeling that Harry would be deeply hurt and upset if he ever found this out.

Knowing he hadn't actually voiced anything this time, he was surprised when Scorpius spoke again, responding to his thoughts. "He doesn't have to know. S'not like I'm telling him." At the incredulous look Albus shot him, Scorpius smiled. "That was what you were thinking, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"Some things don't need to be said," Scorpius said. "Besides, your dad would be a fool not to suspect it at least."

Unsure of what to say to that, Albus moved on. "Why do you come here if they abandon you to run off and shag?"

"It's not like they leave me alone the entire time," Scorpius said, rolling his eyes. "There's a lot to learn from them though. They always share the most fascinating conversations. Plus, I like Snape. He's interesting, to say the least. And I learn plenty from him. The things he teaches me are the reason I do so well in school, you know. You're the only one who has better marks than I do."

Albus smiled a bit at that, though an unpleasant emotion twisted in his stomach as well as his heart. Envy, though he didn't understand why, at first. Snape often tutored Albus as well. He had done so since before he even began Hogwarts. The man had often tried to involve James and Lily, but Albus was the only one with an interest in academics. He always credited his being ahead of the rest of his year to his godfather. Knowing now, though, that Snape was his father, the situation being what it was, learning that Snape did those same things with another boy his age who spent just as much, if not more, time with him, was bothersome.

At least Snape didn't run off to bugger someone while he was visiting, though.

Shaking himself out of it, he opened his mouth to ask more questions about his visits here, but stopped himself, suddenly feeling his face heat up. For someone he didn't like very much, he had been talking about way too many personal things with the blond. Though it couldn't be helped, really, what with Scorpius already knowing so many personal details about his family. _Before he had_! So, instead, Albus latched onto a new topic. "Did you hear that Steinar Svatoslav is writing a new book?"

In retrospect, maybe bringing up the obscure writer wasn't the smartest plan. Not many people knew who Steinar Svatoslav was, despite all the man had accomplished in his young life. An activist, philosopher, and professor at Durmstrang, he had written over a hundred books in ten years plus countless articles in various journals. In fact, he had written last year's Defense Against the Dark Arts' textbook. Aside from his scholarly works, he had also written some of the best pieces of fiction Albus had ever laid eyes on.

To his surprise and satisfaction, gray eyes lit up. "I did! It's supposed to be a sort of continuation from where he left off in _Nemesis Games_. Since Locke's dead now, there's a rumor he's supposed to pick up with Afton taking over as the Keyholder to find the Gate of Isela…"

Two and a half hours later, when Snape and Draco finally emerged, neither boy noticed as, to the shock of their fathers, they were lost in a lively discussion about the _Keyholder_ novels. They didn't even start fighting when they hit their first disagreement when trying to analyze Munir Moore's intentions when he killed his best friend, Locke Ryder, to save the life of archenemy Afton Belgard.

"And he was complaining just the other day about how Albus hated him for no reason," Draco muttered bemusedly, following Snape into the kitchen to see about something to eat.

* * *

The questions seemed never ending. The shame, guilt, and pain endless. Halfway through the meeting, Ginny and Harry wanted to snap at Marietta to mind her own damn business. No one had meant for the couple counseling to drag on for so long, but they apparently had more issues than they originally fathomed. The Potters were sitting as far away from each other as the table allowed, neither having looked at the other for over an hour now, avoiding speaking directly to each other if they could help it. Both were angry. Though while Ginny was self-righteous in her rage, Harry's left him feeling even worse than before. What right did he have to be so mad with his wife? Even if she had sat there and thrown in his face how many men had attempted to seduce her over the years while she remained ever faithful, how much she resented him, and so on.

Never before in their marriage had they been so brutally honest. If they thought there had been things they hadn't wanted to know about each other before, there had been plenty worse than they ever noticed aired today. Disgust, horror, pain, embarrassment, irritation, rage. It seemed they had been through the entire spectrum of negative emotions today. Harry, for one, couldn't even remember feeling anything nice at all.

"Now," Marietta said, "this is going to be hard, but I feel that this is necessary to get you both on track."

They didn't say anything, though Marietta watched them carefully, seeing if they would respond. Only when Ginny shot her an impatient look was the woman prompted to speak further.

"I'm not saying this will cure your marriage," she explained. "What we want to do now is determine whether or not this relationship is worth saving. To both of you."

"Why w…" Ginny interrupted.

Marietta held up a hand to stop her. "I'm not saying you don't want it to work. What I'm saying is that making it work _may_ not be the best thing for you. We need to show you both whether or not you would be better off separating. So, for the time being, you need to separate. Pretend you're divorced. Contact each other as little as possible. Don't use your relationship as a basis for any decisions. If you want to go partying with your friends, don't stop yourself on the basis that it's inappropriate for a married man or woman. Flirt, _look_, have _fun_! Don't use this as an _excuse_ of infidelity. Sex is not on my mind. Even if it's outside of relationships. Work, for example. If you have an opportunity to travel, to _do_ something you don't think your spouse would approve of…_do it_! _If_ you want. Don't use being married as an excuse because, for the next week or two, for the next month, however long this exercise lasts, you are _not _married. Got it?"

"I don't understand," Harry said slowly.

"I want to be sure that neither of you is staying in this marriage out of obligation. So, mostly, yes, this will be a bigger test when it comes to potential romantic partners. Say Ginny meets an attractive man in the office and he asks her out. She should only say no if she doesn't like him, or because she wants you more. Not because she's married to you, but because she loves you and wants to be with _you_, not him. Alternatively, say you do really like this man and thoughts of Harry _isn't_ enough for you to say no. Then go! Let yourself have that. Because if it's the _marriage_ and not Harry, himself, keeping you from going astray, that's a problem. You don't need to be with one another if there are other people you want to be with more. Understand?"

Harry was immensely grateful she hadn't used Snape and himself as examples. He wasn't sure Ginny could take much more of it. Though, the way she glared at him, he figured it was still on her mind.

"Even if you don't actually _do_ anything, take this time apart to reconsider your lives as they are. Don't allow your relationship effect anything. It shouldn't factor into any of your decision-making concerning any other aspect of your lives. It shouldn't be '_I'd really like to move to Africa and start a new career as a curse-breaker but we can't move, so and so has their job, we have this and that…_' Really think about where you want to be in life. Then there is your marriage itself. While it should not affect your other decisions, nothing else should affect it, either. Are you truly happy being married? Do you _really_ want to be together?"

Both Harry and Ginny opened their mouths to respond, but Marietta shook her head. "Don't say it. Because, right now, it doesn't mean anything. Think about it. _Really_ think about it. I will check in on you both weekly. When you come to a decision, let _me _know. _Do not_ tell each other what you want," Marietta advised.

"That doesn't make any sense," Ginny cut in.

"Yes, it does," Marietta argued. "What if Harry told you he wanted to stay with you when you had already decided you wanted to leave? Maybe you'd go through and tell him anyway. But you also might not. Telling me beforehand gives me the opportunity to arrange a meeting where I might oversee things. Then, if you were to 'change your mind', I would be there to point it out, and force you to give us an answer as to why you changed your mind. You both seem to have issues being honest with one another…"

"It's not me who's been hiding things," Ginny said coldly.

"…You also don't seem as though you're being honest with yourselves," Marietta continued, ignoring the redhead. "Obviously, you don't have to go through with any of this. You can return to your lives as they have been, pretending we never had this discussion. I can't force you into anything. This is only what I think is the best option for you both. Now, I'll go inside while you make up your minds. Please let me know what you want to do before you leave today, though you can feel free to change your decision at any time."

As Marietta got up to walk back into the house, Harry stared at the grass with an uneasy feeling. This whole thing sounded like a very bad idea. Pretend they weren't married? How was _that_ supposed to help them? The very idea of it was ludicrous. Already he felt himself panicking. Not an excuse to cheat indeed. It was hard enough to keep away from Snape as it was. Maybe she was _trying_ to push him into the man's bed. His life was fine as it was, really. There was no point in going through any of this, because he already knew where he belonged and what he wanted.

So he told himself that. Over and over again.

Ginny cleared her throat. "I dunno if I'm up for family therapy after this."

"Yeah," was all he could say. His brain felt like mush.

"You…you stay. Catch up with Dudley," Ginny said quietly. "I should be packed and at the Burrow the time you get home."

"Packed?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Ginny said stiffly, standing up. "We're doing this. Or I am."

He should argue with her, convince her not to, but the words were lodged in his throat and he was frozen in his seat, watching her stand then move towards the door. She paused as she grasped the handle, staring determinedly at the door, entire body rigid. Harry watched her, half prepared for tears or threats, but none came. Instead, she told him rather reluctantly, "And I think…I think that…maybe…you should…you should…_talk_…to Snape. Work things out with him before you come back to me."

Ginny disappeared into the house so fast, but he could have sworn he saw tears running down her face in the glimpse of her he caught before the door slammed shut loudly.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So first thing's first. I have never been to therapy, ever, and know pretty much nothing about it. The events in this chapter should not be construed as to how actual therapy sessions are handled, because it is more than likely wrong. The sole purpose of that scene is to air out particular things about the characters, and push forward with upcoming events. While I normally prefer to keep things as realistic as possible, this was the best means of carrying the story forward. At least as I saw fit, lol! So if anyone actually has been to therapy and is offended by the portrayal, I am sorry! I in no way, shape, or form claim to have any actual knowledge about things that actually happen or would be said in this particular situation. Though we can always assume Marietta is just bad at her job and only stays in business due to magic and a demand for people in the profession or something _ lol jk! Unless you actually want to think that…_ hehehe.

ANYWAY.

Sorry it took so long! If you haven't already, feel free to like my FB page for updates about this and all of my other stories!

And finally, the chapter title is a quote from _A Game of Thrones _by George R. R. Martin. "Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word."

Oh and nearly forgot! The book titles mentioned in this chapter: The Twilight saga, Stephenie Meyer. _Fifty Shades_ series is by E.L. James. _The Mists of Avalon_, Marion Zimmer Bradley. _Wicked_ is by Gregory Maguire. _Wideacre_ is Phillipa Gregory. _Return of the King _(which I originally mistyped as _Return of the Ring_, to my amusement), J.R.R. Tolkein. I think that was it. Other than _Nemesis Games_ and its author Steinar Svatoslav were made up by me! Oh and _Lolita_ was Vladimir Nabokov. THAT BETTER BE IT!

*le cough*

Anywho! Big thanks to Dani the beta who got this humungo chapter done so quickly! Thanks for the help with everything! I also appreciate the aid given by my best snarry buddy, Tokugawa Blitzer, for being there for many a great Snarry conversation, as well as helping give me the confidence to keep writing and making me calm down when my brain gets all "fucked up" xP And for not being too much of a donald hahahaha.

And of course, thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or been following this story! I love you guys so much and I hope you keep reading! Please tell me what you think of this chapter!


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